Forum Member Passed Away - A Cautionary Tale

Firetastic

I'm really sorry to hear about your wife. We can only do what we can to encourage people to help themselves.

I know this isn't much consolation to you OP but I do hope in years to come a cure will be found for diabetes.

Hermia

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Tbh we've never thought of taking our own dessert - perhaps if we did and they kicked off then that would be an ideal opportunity to point out to them that if they sold diabetic friendly desserts then she'd quite happily buy one!

I agree that no one ever died from not eating a dessert but going for a meal is a social thing - to have it curtailed because of ignorance is a bit gauling.

When I dine with a diabetic friend I give her a small piece of my dessert. She gets to enjoy a treat without it being big enough to cause a problem and I don't eat so many calories!

baby_lemonade

GwylimT wrote: »

It doesn't however help that diabetes specialists are still advising people to eat large portions of carbs or suggesting baked beans are suitable.

I'm not diabetic, I have a sweet tooth, and even I find baked beans too sickly-sweet!

Hermia

FBaby wrote: »

It sounds like that's where your wife stood. My dad's wife, SM is exactly like that. She is a time bomb in every way, only 63, but when I talked to her about it, she says that when her time comes, her time comes.

I could understand that attitude if you could be sure you would just drop dead and not spend years suffering disability and terrible ill-health. I know a few people who had this attitude and spent their final years bitter and resentful over their horrible health problems. I assume they really did just think they would be totally healthy and just drop dead one day. I think if people make that choice fully aware of the consequences that is obviously completely their choice. My dad was very much an enjoy your life and die young kind of guy. Then he died shortly before my graduation. His lifelong wish had been to see me graduate and his realising he wouldn't see it was heartbreaking. Also the knowledge that my mum would be plunged into poverty horrified him. It really baffles me that it didn't occur to him that his live fast, die young life could end at a really bad time for everyone.

I think I possibly see things differently because I was born with chronic health conditions. I have a lot of experience of what it is like to have your life restricted so tend to take health more seriously. Even if trying to be healthy doesn't help me in the long run, it does help me deal with my health problems now far more easily.

baby_lemonade

Good points made by all, but I'm not sure that starting/writing a thread about someone who is no longer around to defend herself is the right thing to do..

DUTR

baby_lemonade wrote: »

Good points made by all, but I'm not sure that starting/writing a thread about someone who is no longer around to defend herself is the right thing to do..

What is there to defend?
The post is just an awareness ost, just like the cancer awareness promotions we see around.

missbiggles1

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

My mum is a diabetic but she is ultra careful about what she eats, taking her melds & going for check-ups.

However what really grinds her gears is that if we go out for a meal, when it comes to dessert she almost all the time has to pass as there's nothing suitable to eat. Even when we've especially notified the restuarant in advance so they have chance to cater for her they fail to do so.

As mum says, allergies and intolerances are catered for but it seems diabetics arent

Most restaurants have a cheese plate as an alternative (or in some cases in addition to) pudding - wouldn't that be possible?

DavidF

I had a similar experience with a loved one. No diabetes but still a refusal to face facts and take steps to help the situation. It hurt me that we lost her too soon for us all....I managed to get my head in a better place by telling myself (supported by others views) that everything I did when she was ill I did for HER benefit right or wrong. At the end of the day all we can do is love and support in the best way we can - whatever shape or form that takes.
OP try not to beat yourself up and also try to focus on the good years you had and what you created.

baby_lemonade

DUTR wrote: »

What is there to defend?
The post is just an awareness ost, just like the cancer awareness promotions we see around.

I think that a lot of the comments and sentiments being expressed are a personal attack on someone who is no longer here to tell their side of the story.

DUTR

baby_lemonade wrote: »

I think that a lot of the comments and sentiments being expressed are a personal attack on someone who is no longer here to tell their side of the story.

I lost a brother to diabetes a few years back, Diabetes is only really bad if the patient is not able to control it. It doesn't mean not eating sweet stuff, there are many non diabetics that suddenly become experts. Anything in moderation.