Thoughts on my marriage ?

lincroft1710

A buy to let mortgage will often require a 25% deposit. Being a landlord brings a host of problems, even with good tenants. With bad tenants, think unpaid rents and damage to property. Think stress, not good for health.

Buying to do up and sell and by the time you've finished, will you actually make a profit? Again think stress.

I can understand why your husband isn't keen. But I 100% agree £80 pw on beer and cigarettes is excessive.

JReacher1

Caroline_a wrote: »

I had a husband like this. I left him and have been very happy on my own ever since! Have you considered though that if you buy a house it will be considered as marital property if you split up, and he will be entitled to half?

It sounds like he deserves half as for years he has been single handily paying for the family home. Why should the OP get half of the family home and keep the whole of this second property?

GoingNowhere

Thankyou all.
I guess I am seeing this as a way to work together & fix our marriage problems. I understand what you are saying re stress & I've done lots & lots of research. I'm confident in what I'm trying to do.

GoingNowhere

JReacher1 wrote: »

It sounds like he deserves half as for years he has been single handily paying for the family home. Why should the OP get half of the family home and keep the whole of this second property?

Wrong again

enthusiasticsaver

I think your first sentence emphasises the problem in that for many many years your marriage has been going through the motions. Obviously you have gained some confidence in the last year due to getting a new job outside of your OHs business and he is not wanting to go anywhere or do anything except drink his beer and smoke his fags. To be honest I would be looking outside the marriage for fulfilment too. Some posters have been a bit harsh in that you have been contributing financially to your household by working in OHs business and bringing up children. How old are they?

I think you need to decide what is more important to you. A project you can fully involved in, irrespective of your OHs desire not to get involved or to work on your marriage. Is it worth saving? Only you can answer that.

I would say though that the stress of a breakup and of taking on a buy to let project at the same time sounds like a recipe for disaster if you have had health issues in the past. Are these now resolved?

JReacher1

GoingNowhere wrote: »

Wrong again

Well I can only base my posts on your OP where you stated you hadn't worked for years and hadn't claimed benefits. It implies your husband has financially supported your for years. If he hasn't then where has your money come from?

GoingNowhere

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I think your first sentence emphasises the problem in that for many many years your marriage has been going through the motions. Obviously you have gained some confidence in the last year due to getting a new job outside of your OHs business and he is not wanting to go anywhere or do anything except drink his beer and smoke his fags. To be honest I would be looking outside the marriage for fulfilment too. Some posters have been a bit harsh in that you have been contributing financially to your household by working in OHs business and bringing up children. How old are they?

I think you need to decide what is more important to you. A project you can fully involved in, irrespective of your OHs desire not to get involved or to work on your marriage. Is it worth saving? Only you can answer that.

I would say though that the stress of a breakup and of taking on a buy to let project at the same time sounds like a recipe for disaster if you have had health issues in the past. Are these now resolved?

Thankyou so much for reading what I've written & not judging me. I still struggle with MH issues & will never be resolved only managed. I do appreciate that stress will not be ideal but I am going into it with my eyes open. To be honest though things are so bad with husband today that I don't think I will be proceeding at the minute. Thanks again

GoingNowhere

JReacher1 wrote: »

Well I can only base my posts on your OP where you stated you hadn't worked for years and hadn't claimed benefits. It implies your husband has financially supported your for years. If he hasn't then where has your money come from?

If you had read all my posts you would have known.

JReacher1

GoingNowhere wrote: »

If you had read all my posts you would have known.

which posts?

All I can read is that due to your MH issues you've never earned any income apart from when your husband has given you work.

it seems like for years he has paid for everything with the only exception being he keeps £80 a week to himself for his own social amusements.

I don't really see what he has done wrong.

GoingNowhere

JReacher1 wrote: »

which posts?

All I can read is that due to your MH issues you've never earned any income apart from when your husband has given you work.

it seems like for years he has paid for everything with the only exception being he keeps £80 a week to himself for his own social amusements.

I don't really see what he has done wrong.

So I DID earn income then, from work ???