The woman at the office.

hazyjo

A woman at my ex-husband's work texted him once when drunk saying "LOV U XXX" at the end of it. They were close giggly gossipy friends, but she'd not put it before - as soon as he was with me, they all started showing more interest in him (he was a teacher and worked with a lot of women).


I sent her an email asking why she put it, and told her it was shameful, disrespectful and inappropriate and things like that ended marriages. She wasn't happy. He wasn't happy. I wasn't happy. But I felt a whole lot better and didn't ever regret it. It really was the end of the matter and we all moved on.


I don't mind a bit of banter or flirting but there is a line which you don't cross.


Jx

System

Here's a number of reasons:
1: Knowing someone is attracted to you boosts ego, releasing hormones which elevate mood.
2: Flirting can bring you closer to the person you are with, by reminding you of the honeymoon period.
3: Flirting builds better friendships between people who are otherwise attracted, it gets the elephant out of the room so to speak.

Which is all well and good if your both on the same hymn sheet but if the person you are flirting with wants to take it further and you dont... can it not be said that you have led them on by your actions? Thats not a position i'd ever want to find myself in.

baby_lemonade

Stevie_Palimo wrote: »

baby_lemonade the same could be said about you as well with your posting style and knowing all the terms used on the forum, Perhaps opinions like those you have posted are best kept to yourself in future as others may play guessing game as to who you used to be.

No need to guess! I said on another thread who I used to post as, before I left the site.

I can see not much has changed..

baby_lemonade

fairy_lights wrote: »

Why bother? This thread isn't hurting anyone, it's not some outlandish soap opera style thread, so why would you need to out the OP?

Personally I have no idea who she is, but some people will, I expect.

And outlandish soap operas are hardly a rarity on this board!

Guest101

Judi wrote: »

Which is all well and good if your both on the same hymn sheet but if the person you are flirting with wants to take it further and you dont... can it not be said that you have led them on by your actions? Thats not a position i'd ever want to find myself in.

No, everyone is responsible for their own feelings not those of others.


Unless he said ' I want to sleep with you ', she simply interpreted things to her way of thinking

baby_lemonade

fierystormcloud wrote: »

What's your point? The OP said she was an AE, but she didn't want people to know who she was.

I was quoting the first post in its entirety, in case (as often happens) they don't get the answers they want and delete their first post, leaving everyone guessing what it was all about.

SarahandherCat

"No need to guess! I said on another thread who I used to post as, before I left the site.

I can see not much has changed.. "

baby_lemonade wrote: »

I was quoting the first post in its entirety, in case (as often happens) they don't get the answers they want and delete their first post, leaving everyone guessing what it was all about.

If I wanted to delete this thread, I'd have every right to and saying 'not much has changed' is correct - I posted on a side account because I knew people would be going through my past posts not just now - but in future if I post something that someone disagreees with.

Tbh, you are one to talk for saying you quoted a post 'so OP can't delete it'

This is very very hard for me and if I needed to take that post down then that should be my right to, which you have taken away from me.

I'm not saying I would have - but you can't play victim on one hand then play devil's advocate on another.

People forget that we are real people here. No one would guess who I was, I don't use this forum for personal issues just purely for money saving so I have no past to dig up, esp with my Husband's concerned as I never have a bad word to say against him...normally

Guest101

SarahandherCat wrote: »

"No need to guess! I said on another thread who I used to post as, before I left the site.

I can see not much has changed.. "



If I wanted to delete this thread, I'd have every right to and saying 'not much has changed' is correct - I posted on a side account because I knew people would be going through my past posts not just now - but in future if I post something that someone disagreees with.

Tbh, you are one to talk for saying you quoted a post 'so OP can't delete it'

This is very very hard for me and if I needed to take that post down then that should be my right to, which you have taken away from me.

I'm not saying I would have - but you can't play victim on one hand then play devil's advocate on another.

People forget that we are real people here. No one would guess who I was, I don't use this forum for personal issues just purely for money saving so I have no past to dig up, esp with my Husband's concerned as I never have a bad word to say against him...normally

I disagree with using AEs too, it means that advice in the future could be incorrect or people who are giving advice for free aren't getting the full picture.


Is it ok to mislead dozens of well meaning people?

baby_lemonade

SarahandherCat wrote: »

"No need to guess! I said on another thread who I used to post as, before I left the site.

I can see not much has changed.. "



If I wanted to delete this thread, I'd have every right to and saying 'not much has changed' is correct - I posted on a side account because I knew people would be going through my past posts not just now - but in future if I post something that someone disagreees with.

Tbh, you are one to talk for saying you quoted a post 'so OP can't delete it'

This is very very hard for me and if I needed to take that post down then that should be my right to, which you have taken away from me.

I'm not saying I would have - but you can't play victim on one hand then play devil's advocate on another.

People forget that we are real people here. No one would guess who I was, I don't use this forum for personal issues just purely for money saving so I have no past to dig up, esp with my Husband's concerned as I never have a bad word to say against him...normally

You know, you can always just ask me would I mind removing your post, and I would have done. Instead of flailing around making accusations and playing the hard-done-by.

Maybe you should be more careful what you write on a public internet forum if you don't want people to read it? Anybody, anywhere in the world can see what's written on this website. Not aimed at you necessarily, but it is amazing the level of detail people write about themselves on here!

System

Guest101 wrote: »

No, everyone is responsible for their own feelings not those of others.

Thats a very selfish way of looking at things.