Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy gifts for both halves of a couple?

crmism

In your place, I'd do as you suggest, ie give one present between them and, if you're really cost-conscious, for roughly the value they give you.

It would probably make the selection of a suitable gift easier, anyway - a household item or ornament that neither can really lay claim to, but still enhances their lives.:j

gloriouslyhappy

riceandpeas wrote: »

Of course you should cut back. After all, the only reason any of us buys gifts is so that we might receive something back of commensurate or greater value, isn't it? It's not about sentiment, affection, family loyalty etc. and in any case, the husband isn't even family is he?
Let's hope they are never so inconsiderate as to spawn any additional financial liabilities. Then you'll really have to teach them a lesson.

This. 'Nuff said.

ButterflyLC

Well no. You are buying a gift for individuals on their birthday. They are only buying for you. So look at it this way, do you receive a birthday or xmas gift from Mum and Dad, or do you get gifts from Mum and gifts from Dad? Assuming your parents are still together I would imagine Mum and Dad buy you gifts together. It would be different if your sister bought only for you and not your partner, when you bought for her and her partner. If it annoys you that much drop the birthday budget or each and buy a joint Xmas gift. I did that with my SIL and BIL seeing as they don't even text to wish Happy Birthday and they have sold or regifted everything gift we have ever bought them. One of them even back to me :rotfl:

rallp54

How about both sides agreeing to abandon present giving altogether? Works for me and mine!

Marvel1

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Just my twopennyworth! Don't jump on me LOL!

I'm the same this year.

First it was my nephew and cousin (A) child (same age) - 2 children - I bought for.

Then came along my other nephew - 3 children - I bought for

Cousin B met someone who already has a Son - 4 children - I bough for but this was only Xmas 2015.

Then another nephew and Cousin B had another earlier this year (again same age) - 6 children.

Now I'm thinkig :eek: this is getting out of control, I only put £10 a month away each month, to be honest I would rather spend this on my 3 nephews.

I have no arranged to get each of the extended family something small - a selection box instead - a present but does not cost too much.

catkins

sclare wrote: »

I can only assume that most people who've responded are married or well off. Such smugness.

I've only recently realised how much single people lose out where traditional gift giving etc are concerned. And as a married person, I was oblivious for decades. The rounds system means a single person among coupled friends, has to buy twice as many drinks in a night, than each of the others. And a single person with friends/relatives who are married and with families is going to find Christmas very much more expensive than the other adults in his/her circle.

I think it's ok to occasionally feel fed up about this. And I think it perfectly ok to buy a gift for the couple. My husband and i were certainly happy to have couple gifts.

I don't see it as being smug at all. I am married but we don't have children. Both my siblings have 2 children each. Almost all our friends have children. We buy for my siblings, their other halves and their children. We also buy for a few friends (husband and wife) and their children.

Obviously as we don't have children we are, in effect, having less money spent on us. It doesn't bother us though. In fact we don't think about it.

Also when we go out to eat with any couples with children the bill is just split by the amount of couples so I guess we are losing out on this too.

Uriah

kazt2006 wrote: »

The answer is easy, agree not to buy gifts for each other. My family and friends even went as far as just sending e-cards for birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas. Simple - ditch the gifts!

I agree wholeheartedly.

But then I also question why we buy them at all. Isn't it just peer pressure, guilt or some other social conditioning emphasised and promoted by commerce to keep the 'Gift' business in business?

There is certainly nothing wrong with giving a gift, or several, what is wrong is the expectancy on any particular day. Christmas is one of those and put's the least able to afford it into debt often to the doorstep money lenders or payday lenders, and why? Because of conditioning, fear of being called names or thought of as being a miserable so and so scrooge. And even if cost is no object, what's the real motive behind giving on pre-defined days; many don't want to but feel pressured into it. Why should one feel entitled to a gift just because its the calendar day you were born on? So what?

Just think of the waste that is generated in this throw-away society caused by 'gift - giving'; cards, wrapping, tape, string what have you not to mention the unwanted and eventually broken gifts dumped into landfill.

Let's just stop it. Seems sensible to me.

Pun

What a whinger you are! As usual, this 'dilemma' is a complete nonsense.

Marvel1

hazyjo wrote: »

but do feel awkward when we meet and I've not got a gift to hand over.

One thing I have never started for Xmas for friends children and don't feel akward when the gifts from another couple on Boxing Day.

Birthday's £5 in card and that is it.

Marvel1

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

I have some sight sympathy with the op, it is expensive being single and couples often seem oblivious to this, the gift example is one, single supplements on holidays, rent/mortgage, cost of living etc isn't half the cost if you are on your own v as a couple. I frequently can't afford things my coupled up friends can as my overheads are higher. My biggest gripe is couples on a night outs and rounds of drinks ....

:T every much this, council tax 25% discount for single, should be 50%, adults living together split it 50/50 :mad:

Washing machine broke, oh lovely 100% cost to me, then friends wonder why you can't come out for drinks and think you saying skint means you are tight.

Sorry another thread this but couldn't help it.