Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy gifts for both halves of a couple?

fatpiggy

I know what the OP means. When it comes to Christmas I buy 8 presents, I receive 3 and it doesn't take a genius to see that what I received is very much from the cheap end of the market and is a "that'll do" gift. I do keep to a very strict budget but I spend a considerable amount of time looking for and buying things for each person that I know really suits them, that they will really like or appreciate. Hey ho!

Ibearnogifts

I'd buy them a joint present at Christmas and separate ones for their respective birthdays.

tea_lover

Give them a chocolate orange to share.

riceandpeas

Of course you should cut back. After all, the only reason any of us buys gifts is so that we might receive something back of commensurate or greater value, isn't it? It's not about sentiment, affection, family loyalty etc. and in any case, the husband isn't even family is he?
Let's hope they are never so inconsiderate as to spawn any additional financial liabilities. Then you'll really have to teach them a lesson.

moneyistooshorttomention

To me - you buy "your" person a gift and not their "other half". So you buy for your friend or your relative - but you don't buy one for their "other half".

With that - you are buying for one person and getting from one person.

I just treat it the same way as the way I describe a friendship with a couple, eg "Jane is my friend and I'm on friendly terms with her husband". Makes it plain Jane is "my" person and I'm on good terms with her husband as the "added extra", rather than blanking him out on the one hand or being "over"-friendly with him on the other hand.

The "relationship acknowledgement" coming from things like Christmas cards being addressed to both of them.

OctaviaP

Just agree that you won't buy presents for each other any more.

julie777

For goodness sake, just do what you want to do. There's no right or wrong. I always get my sister an anniversary gift but she never gets us one. That's fine. I do it because I want to!

mickeymouse303

Get them a joint present that they'd both like, or spend less to get both of them individual presents?

NBLondon

I must be weird... I'd buy for both/either half of a couple based on how much I knew and/or liked that person. Or a joint present if it was an appropriate one. But I don't label them as "my person" and "my person's partner who is therefore less than my person". I don't actually have siblings therefore my in-laws are my wife's siblings - but I don't consider my brother-in-law's partner to be lesser just because she's an in-law-in-law as it were.

julie777

Totally agree with the view that this is trivial. I do not keep birthdays but had no idea the subject was a hotbed of rancour and dissatisfaction.
Whatever happened to "there's more happiness in giving than in receiving" ???