Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy gifts for both halves of a couple?

joehoover

You're losing sight of the point in gift giving, if you're calculating what you spend to what you receive, either spend less or forget doing it entirely.

flatdweller

I know what people mean about this being a minor problem but it is the kind of thing that can grate and go on grating over the years. Wait until they have kids and you are still getting one Christmas present from the family but buying four or five.

I don't mind this myself. I think it's just one of those family things and you can spend less if you want.= but personally I don't. I certainly wouldn't want to not buy a present for my SIL at Christmas.

What gets to me, as somebody else mentioned, is when you go out for drinks with couples and they buy a round as a couple .. so say 3 people, 3 rounds, I buy the first one, they buy the second, and then apparently it's my turn again for the third... :eek:

KateBob

tea_lover wrote: »

Give them a chocolate orange to share.

I hadn't thought of the chocolate orange situation for ages, might have to look that thread up again!

Augustus_the_Strong

I assume you are single, or this problem would be easily resolved.

But it is easy to resolve - buy them cheaper presents. A gift is a gift, not a sum of money.

happyinflorida

You sound a bit unhappy with the current situation.

Maybe - for some reason - not given here - you don't like your sister or you're going off her.

Is she older, married well, bit too tight for your liking? Is that it?

Can you financially afford to buy the presents you do? Are they struggling in any way? Is this why they're buying you presents that are cheaper in value to your combined total?

Have you thought about discussing it with your sister? Or do you not get on well enough to do that?

Keep looking in the pound shop for items that look worth far more than £1 and when you see one, pounce on it and buy it with great glee and enjoy wrapping it up and writing that gift tag out, knowing you've only paid £1 for each of their presents.

Like that idea? Hope so! lol

Effervescent

I totally emphasise with you. I am single. I buy presents birthday and Christmas for my sister, her husband and each of her 3 children (so 10 presents). In return I will get two presents at Christmas and two for my birthday (so 4 presents).

gaving7095

Halving your budget is all that "makes sense", given the circumstances.
However, you seem to be missing the point of giving a gift. To look purely at how much it's worth is, in my opinion, tacky at best, childish even at worst.
Why not just get something which you think the person will like, but never go into debt doing so. Don't expect anything in return and be grateful when anybody gives you a gift.

NBLondon

fierystormcloud wrote: »

No couple I have ever know EVER, buy a gift EACH for people.

We do. My wife's best mate's birthday is coming up. It's quite likely that we will both buy her presents - 'cause she's my friend too. And the same when her husband's birthday comes round. Or maybe we'll spend joint money on a large joint present (from 2 of us to 1 of them). We share a birthday, so we sometimes get shared presents but we don't start counting and looking for price tags.

What an utterly silly 'dilemma.

Agreed!

warby68

Effervescent wrote: »

I totally emphasise with you. I am single. I buy presents birthday and Christmas for my sister, her husband and each of her 3 children (so 10 presents). In return I will get two presents at Christmas and two for my birthday (so 4 presents).

So each person in your sister's family receives 2 gifts but you receive 4 gifts so you seem to be doing rather well

meknowalot-51

You seem to be focused on the monetary value of the gifts.Maybe it's just me but i've always given presents because i want to and never expected or wanted anything in return.The true joy of giving should be enough,irrespective of the cost.If it bothers you that much then perhaps you should stop doing it.