Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy gifts for both halves of a couple?

Savvy_Sue

cjdavies wrote: »

Problem is I would have never started buying for the brother in law in the first place.

Me neither, and the idea that my DH might be expected to buy presents for my siblings or their spouses just has me :rotfl:

It's hard enough getting him to think about presents for his own family!

And tbh, I've given up buying for some of my siblings unless I see something and think "X would really appreciate that." For which they are truly grateful!

kazt2006

The answer is easy, agree not to buy gifts for each other. My family and friends even went as far as just sending e-cards for birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas. Simple - ditch the gifts!

Elisecas

Of course it's ok to buy them a joint present. That's what I do for my brother and his other. It's the thought that counts and a gift with thought doesn't have to cost a fortune. A guidebook for a holiday you know they have planned, a three month subscription to a spice club if they like cooking curry, or whatever. I don't think this is a big deal...

keithyno.1

Re reply above by usernameisvalid..."First world problems."

You know, I really agree with you there. If this WAS a serious submission of a 'money moral dilemma' then the submitter really needs to examine their conscience. It's one thing being money-savvy and all that, but these 'dilemmas' only ever seem to illustrate the 'Me Me Me' attitude to life which sadly prevails today. Whatever happened to the generosity of the human spirit?

Sadly, this website and its weekly email borders on encouraging greed and avarice. It would be nice to see the occasional helpful section on tax-efficient charity giving, for example.

Which leads me to the point in all these questions - instead of worrying, soul-searching and prevaricating with all these supposed dilemmas...JUST GIVE THE MONEY IN QUESTION TO YOUR CHOSEN CHARITY INSTEAD!

Stevie_Palimo

I think they should consider packing up everything and going to live in the Amazon rain forest to save the trivial issues that they seem to stumble across on a regular basis.

debradn

The act of gift giving should be done with joy. If you're feeling hard done by you're not giving with joy. Get them something cheaper if that's what would calm you down. But give it to them in the hope it makes them happy and because you like to see the look on their faces (hopefully one of happiness!)

warby68

What a strange dilemma (or non-dilemma)

Some things just end up a bit unbalanced and that's life. There may be times when family members have partners and times when they don't. Expecting 2 presents from a couple is probably unusual. Buying joint birthday presents for adults is also unusual although Christmas ones aren't as its the same event.

Clearly measuring gifts by monetary value is not a recipe for contentment as is giving with a certain expectation in return.

If you aren't happy you can only really adjust your own gift giving (but you could easily find your own gift downgraded also!)

blackgreyhound

We no longer buy any presents for adult friends and relations but make a charitable donation instead.

phil1edinburgh

Well for Christmas you buy them a joint present - for birthdays you buy them a present each but half the cost of a joint present. Don't forget their anniversary - I know you don't have one - well get looking them!

samnbaz

Really?!?! Giving gifts isn't about what you get in return! Do you price up what they've bought you and base your budget for them on that?!?! Buy within your budget, wether that be individual or a couples present