Is having one weekend every now and again free of visitors that unreasonable?!

onomatopoeia99

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Parents in Law are part of your family and their opinions need to be considered, your boyfriend's parents are no relation to you so need less consideration.

A marriage should make no difference to the amount of consideration one's partner's parents receive versus when in a committed, long-term relationship that does not involve a wedding.

Andypandyboy

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

A marriage should make no difference to the amount of consideration one's partner's parents receive versus when in a committed, long-term relationship that does not involve a wedding.

That wasn't your original question though. This was-

Originally Posted by onomatopoeia99 What extra status does a wedding give inlaws in their child's partner's life, exactly?

chesky

If the couple ever separate, then whether you're married or not makes a HUGE difference to the financial arrangement which, if you're a single mother of twins, is something to consider.

melanzana

So what's next now?

Lulu needs to do what exactly, AGAIN please? I didn't hear it the first time. LOL.

Lulu appears to have self esteem issues. She is not respected by her partner or her partner's parents. She has no status wrt security in her home and so on, and has done zilch about it really AFAIS.

Lulu, if you are reading this now, I would discuss with partner moving to the other end of the country! Honestly.

That would soon sort out whether partner wants to be with his three girls or his parents.

Mightn't get the same job, might not have the same kind of house, but you would all be together away from the toxicity that is going on.

If you suggest it, you will have your answer. I know it might not be the answer you want to hear, but if it isn't, well then you know you have to go. There is no other way really.

Of course I do realise that moving away is a big deal, but in the circumstances it is the one thing that might answer the questions flying around in your head. If hundreds of excuses are made, write a list of the positives, do NOT give in easily.

You will have your answer very quickly I'm afraid.

gettingtheresometime

I'm wondering if this is not so much a personality thing, but a cultural thing?

Another thing strikes me; if I keep going on about something that is irritating me OH will dig his heels in and in lulu's case if the source of irration is the MIL (regardless of the issue) then her OH may be taking the same attitude.

As far as the nappies is concerned I'd have smiled sweetly and made a mental note to give them to someone who could use them; bank accounts smile sweetly and say that you'd be happy to meet them in town to open up the accounts together.

OH reluctant to make a will....read him a horror story ( there's bound to be plenty on MSE ) about someone being forced out of their home because of a lack of will or how partners weren't classed as nok as they weren't married.

I think the problem is that you're effectively asking OH to chose and in his current mind set he won't he's digging his heels in. Btw what was the relationship with the mil's mil (if that makes sense?)

JReacher1

I feel sorry for the grandparents. A two and a half hour visit once a week doesn't seem an excessive amount of time to see their newly born twin grandchildren.

This thread started off by being a vent against all weekend visitors but it seems obviously it is just the in laws that the OP resent. I would look at trying to improve relations and then maybe the Inlaws might be happy to pop round one work day (while your husband is at work) to see thei grandchildren. This will give you the weekend free.

Mojisola

JReacher1 wrote: »

I feel sorry for the grandparents. A two and a half hour visit once a week doesn't seem an excessive amount of time to see their newly born twin grandchildren.

This thread started off by being a vent against all weekend visitors but it seems obviously it is just the in laws that the OP resent. I would look at trying to improve relations and then maybe the Inlaws might be happy to pop round one work day (while your husband is at work) to see thei grandchildren. This will give you the weekend free.

Evening visits during the week have been offered (so they can see their son as well as the grandchildren) but the in laws want to come when they want to come - no compromise.

JReacher1

Mojisola wrote: »

Evening visits during the week have been offered (so they can see their son as well as the grandchildren) but the in laws want to come when they want to come - no compromise.

Probably because the op hates them and they want their son there as well.

Mojisola

JReacher1 wrote: »

Probably because the op hates them and they want their son there as well.

Their son is there when they come round in the evenings during the week but they insist on every Sunday as well.

JReacher1

Mojisola wrote: »

Their son is there when they come round in the evenings during the week but they insist on every Sunday as well.

But didn't the OP say that the kids were only up for an hour when the husband gets back?

Its not really the quality time the grand parents want.