Emotional abuse

tea_lover

Do you believe you? The more you say it and don't back it up, the less attention he will pay.

beckysbobbles1

tea_lover wrote: »

Do you believe you? The more you say it and don't back it up, the less attention he will pay.

I don't understand what you mean?

newcook

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

Why should he see it clearer? He has it how he wants it - you do as you are told or else and suck up being his punchbag.

Why should he change?

unfortunately this is how your OH will see it, that its you who has the issue not him. he will continue to belittle you, humiliate you and knock all your self confidence away until you will believe him and then you'll think its true when he says that 'you can leave if you want but who's going to want you?'

get out while you still have it in your head to leave - you deserve to have a happy life where you dont live in fear of the person you live with who is meant to love you

Mojisola

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

It's so difficult as he adores me so much and I genuinely think he doesn't want to lose me but he will if he doesn't change.

You are not learning from previous mistakes.

He does not 'adore' you - he would not treat you in ways that upset you if he did.

You are choosing this kind of relationship for a reason. Unless you sort out why you do, you will keep on getting into unpleasant relationships.

Marvel1

Are you one of the these people who don't like being single and need to be in a relationship no matter how you are treated?

Lily-Rose_3

Walk away NOW before you have any proper commitments (like kids!) It will only get worse. He's a bully, and he won't change.

This IS emotional abuse, and he will always blame you for anything and everything that goes wrong. In addition, he will start controlling your life, even deciding what colour car you have and what size Christmas tree you have.

Trust me, I have seen it happen to a number of friends and colleagues of mine. They leave them and then wonder how and why they tolerated it for the amount of time they did!

cjdavies wrote: »

Are you one of the these people who don't like being single and need to be in a relationship no matter how you are treated?

I wonder this too. I have literally know a dozen people like this... And almost always women; with that 'any man is better than no man' attitude.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

If I annoy my fiance by not accepting his 'jokes' all the time, I get told he will take his 'revenge' on me.

Why would you stay with someone if you don't find their sense of humour funny, and if you don't laugh you get weird threats?

Sharing a similar sense of humour has got to be a one of the most important foundations to a relationship, surely. Humour lasts longer than good looks; it's about the one thing you have left in the old folks home together when everything else has long faded!

"Immature" and "thinks the man is always right" wouldn't be high on my list of boyfriend attributes.

Pollycat

No deep questions from me on this one.

I'll simply say that my opinion is that you are being emotionally abused, if not downright threatened (ref burning your house down).

As for when I would have stopped accepting it, the answer would be 'after the first time'.

marleyboy

Emotional abuse becomes emotional abuse the moment you feel hurt and\or abused by what is said. If it hurts, its abusive and should not be tolerated.

beckysbobbles1

cjdavies wrote: »

Are you one of the these people who don't like being single and need to be in a relationship no matter how you are treated?

I'm actually the opposite. It's taken a while to adjust to the fact that I need to let someone else into my life.


I went through the stage after hubby dying (5 years ago) of desperately wanting to be in any relationship.


Then I spent lots of time travelling and learning to love myself so being with someone is pretty new.


It's scary as he just doesn't see what he's doing as wrong.