22 Foxhole East

f0xh0les

Numbers!! 

I am now the proud owner of £91,500 of mortgage debt, I am paying £4.51 interest a day - I had hoped I would be sub £4.50 by July, but I am a month late. It will be next month.  I made a little overpayment of £64.81  to make it all nice and tidy.

The Emergency/ DH falls under a bus/ Renovations/ Unemployment Fund now stands at a very respectable £14,000 for me, and combined with DH's savings is just a smidge under £22k - nothing is being said about my ability to save twice as much as DH when I buy the food and pay the household bills and put £300 into the kids savings account a month.  It is accepted that I am better with money than he is, and am more motivated to save for the part demolition of the house,  There is no point dwelling on it, it is not going to change.

We now own half the current value of the house.  That is quite a nice feeling. If we did not need to have building works done, we would have a £70k mortgage.

For some bizarre reason this new lockdown has thrown me somewhat. I am not happy. I had just filled up the next 2 weeks with kids needing to be ferried about the place, and I had visited a c/s twice.  Now I have had to go through the diary cancelling everything.  I have nothing to look forward to.  Nothing at all in the diary until October birthdays and THE C-WORD.

I said to DH last night I was having a wobble, which is odd as I have been vaguely fine with this all so far. He just looked at me and said yeah well its a global pandemic, its sh*t for everyone, I should have finished my book chapter by now but I haven't been able to cos I have so much work on.  Then he walked off and spent an hour on his bike.   Oh.  Ok, then.  Thanks.

So I am feeling sorry for myself this morning. 

apple_muncher

Have some big hugs f0xh0les.((( )))

PurpleFairy26

Hugs, think it’s entirely normally for a wobble at some point during lockdown. Some people’s have just come later than others. Going into twice mustn’t have helped. 

You must really love that fella 🤣

f0xh0les

It is totally out of character behaviour for me Purps.   It wasn't exactly a Hallmark moment, I must say.

Glad he no plans to go into a career in counselling.   

Mrs_Money_Penny

Bless you fOxhOles sending you a virtual hug. Life is so unpredictable at the moment. My husband is a bike fanatic everyday he’s out all winds and weathers.xx

Baileys_Babe

I'm similar to you @foxholes I'm the one who is good with money, I organise the house and the people, I offer physical and emotional support, I am the primary carer, I run the taxi service etc But on the occasions I need emotional support at best I will get a quick hug and the children will be told to give me space and he may ask if I want to watch one on my programmes. Most of the time he won't notice and if I bring it to his attention he will generally have the same reaction as Mr Foxholes 

crazy_cat_lady

We all have a wobble now and again f0xh0les. It's the whole last minute nature of disrupting your plans - just as things were starting to look up then you were locked down again straight away. 
I'm sad reading that so many people have husbands who are no good at emotional support - I don't think it's a lot to expect as half of a partnership - especially if you're doing the majority of holding everything else together. It is something that my ex was/is spectacularly bad at, but as you know he was poor at a lot of things (like staying sober and getting out of bed) so I'm sad to hear that this is quite common. 
Lots of love to you and I hope that you're feeling better soon

Baileys_Babe

I think that is a fair comment @crazy_cat_lady My OH is aware of how unsupportive he can be, he is great in many other areas, but having been chronically ill and in a huge amount of pain for about 15 years (so far) he has understandably become quite self-focused.  As a result, it can be an unsupportive place.

I think the other thing is it doesn't happen often so he doesn't get the practice and goes into panic mode.

crazy_cat_lady

My sister thinks it's to with gender stereotypical roles BB. Women traditionally hold the 'carer' roles and men have to 'hide their emotions and feelings and 'man up''. It's not intended to be a criticism so apologies if it came across like that - I always used to think that I did so much for my ex and occasionally I would just need a cuddle and he couldn't seem to manage it. I have no idea what other people's experience of this is in reality - just my own.

f0xh0les

If you stand in front of dh and say I need a cuddle, he is great.  I think he just needs to be told. Then emailed, reminded then possibly a post-it note nailed to his forehead. 

His absentminded brain is off thinking of a million other things - he is very excited by his work and is making contacts with archaeozoologists this week about chickens .  Who knew? 

Yesterday was a bad day as it was properly the last day of school here til September. So in my head, it was all 'Ok, now it is Summer, what are my plans? ]

End of year meal out celebration - nope

Going away - nope

Museums - nope

Day Trips - nope

Lido - nope

Family -nope

We are down to essential food shopping only,  and - if absolutely necessary - 1 hour outdoor exercise  - but I was in a shop yesterday and out of 14 people. me and one other had a mask on.  If people don't start to take this seriously and suit up when they go out, then we are just going to be circling this round and round.

M-i-L suggested last night, that as Le Shire seems to be so bad, maybe it would be better if we went to live at their house for a while.   I do not think she understands the concept of Lockdown.   It  only applies to other people.  I know it does not apply to her as long as she is on horseback.  Urg. Other people eh? Anyway, as I am sure you can all understand, I was not on the phone booking the ferry.

I did have to laugh though, I was listening to the radio on the local BBC station to try and find out where the plague boundary line lay, and they were taking questions from listeners as they had one of the MP's on 'after the news', so Paul in Birstall wanted to know if he could tow his caravan, Julie in Melton wanted to know if she could  drive through the city and out the other side to visit her mum, and Lorraine in Saffron Lane wanted to know when she could visit relatives in prison again.

One for those who know the area (and the stereotypes).