Been given notice :-( help

smallholdingsister

Without the benefit of a crystal ball none of us can tell whether our partners will morph into "lowlife scum".

You can't tell whether someone supports their children just by looking at them.

marksoton

Smodlet wrote: »

OK, marksoton, it's just expecting people to pay for what the government should be doing that gave me pause.

I completely agree that men (and women) should pay for their children's support but, for as long as there are those who duck their responsibilities, which will be forever, there needs to be some provision to force them to pay, ideally without penalising the responsible parent. In practical terms, if someone refuses to pay for their child's upkeep, how is the one left holding the baby supposed to make them without official help? We differ in that I do not see why they should have to pay for this help while there is a government department in existence whose job it is to do so. If the CSA are useless, they should either be dissolved or given the teeth to be effective... imho, of course.

Indeed. Which is why the CSA is described as not fit for purpose.

They have powers beyond their means ( e.g removal of passports/driving licence and unlimited access to a "clients" bank account and or their employer at source ).

You cannot and should not be responsible for one child and not ensure they are adequately provided for in Britain. To do so with 8 is beyond the pale and remiss.

[Deleted User]

Kimplus, if it's any consolation I have 2 children by 2 men and inspite of thinking the second man was totally different to the first, I didn't see what I should have done and neither voluntarily helped support their children. Even when I had problems buying food (both kids have ASD so costs were higher than normal). I really thought I was making a better choice second time around but people who judge don't know how abusive relationships happen and are maintained, or how they affect the 'victim'. I am sure u are probably like me now and will never look at another man again, which is a shame but can be how we end up. But I am genuinely happier as a single parent. CSA did get some money out of my older son's father but not what they should have because the system is broken. And the repercussions for both me and my son from the father were not good

Anyway on to the eviction. My LL told me 18 months before eviction that he was going to sell. Told me if I decorated the place it would be more attractive to a BTL person. I knew I was being a mug but also knew how difficult would be to find another place so I did decorate. Of course only one or two of the people who came round were investors. But nothing I can do. Yes, cost me money too.

Council weren't overly helpful. Stress levels very high, LL took over a year to give S21 so had to live with the stress of an insecure home. As someone with heart problems, this did affect my health. But to council u are just a number, and they need to keep the numbers of people they have to help down, so many people disappear if they make getting housing as difficult as possible.

A S21 was served. Then a possession order. The possession order cost me £280. I was ordered to pay this to LL but agreed it should come out of my deposit. Then a bailiffs warrant was issued, that cost £110.

Council would not regard me as homeless until 28 days before I was to be evicted. The process from issuing of s21 took three and a half months. It can take longer depending on court waiting times. If ordinary baillifs (not high court) they give u two weeks notice.

Even with the bailiffs notice in my hand, council would not help until AFTER we'd been evicted. Evicted at 10.30, appt at council offices at 3pm, inspite of having 2 kids with ASD. They kind of made it as bad as it could be, really. Even a week before I was being told by council officer I should seek private rental even though he knew full well I could not move to cheaper area because would lose services for my kids (and how do u find a LA and property when on benefits as I was, with two kids who get into a state in familiar places let alone unfamiliar places).

Ask what the council's policy is with emergency accommodation. Some place in B&B, some don't. Mine places families in single room hostel accommodation in the area (not as bad as some areas). So I had to get letters from professionals (GP, social workers, consultants) to show why this would cause increased risks and harm for my children. We were placed straight into a maisonette instead of a hostel room because of this. I'd advise u to find out what your council normally does and if this is going to cause harm, line your ducks up with letters to prove why.

Congratulations on the new baby. I hope this helps.

Smodlet

Thank you so much, deanntrois, for another brilliant, helpful, constructive, non-judgemental post. You have been missed, at least by me.

I hope you are well?

[Deleted User]

Abortive holiday failure (booked as a stress relief, I won't be as stupidly nieve again lol Haven All Hallows - review on trip advisor - can't link to it) leading to financial problems followed immediately by serious PC problems. Posting via phone. Sod just loves me ha ha.

And a few other things I'm trying to sort has meant I've been a bit busy.

But other than that everything's ok. Just missed this thread somehow for which I apologise OP.

marksoton

deannatrois wrote: »

Kimplus, if it's any consolation I have 2 children by 2 men and inspite of thinking the second man was totally different to the first, I didn't see what I should have done and neither voluntarily helped support their children. Even when I had problems buying food (both kids have ASD so costs were higher than normal). I really thought I was making a better choice second time around but people who judge don't know how abusive relationships happen and are maintained, or how they affect the 'victim'. I am sure u are probably like me now and will never look at another man again, which is a shame but can be how we end up. But I am genuinely happier as a single parent. CSA did get some money out of my older son's father but not what they should have because the system is broken. And the repercussions for both me and my son from the father were not good

Anyway on to the eviction. My LL told me 18 months before eviction that he was going to sell. Told me if I decorated the place it would be more attractive to a BTL person. I knew I was being a mug but also knew how difficult would be to find another place so I did decorate. Of course only one or two of the people who came round were investors. But nothing I can do. Yes, cost me money too.

Council weren't overly helpful. Stress levels very high, LL took over a year to give S21 so had to live with the stress of an insecure home. As someone with heart problems, this did affect my health. But to council u are just a number, and they need to keep the numbers of people they have to help down, so many people disappear if they make getting housing as difficult as possible.

A S21 was served. Then a possession order. The possession order cost me £280. I was ordered to pay this to LL but agreed it should come out of my deposit. Then a bailiffs warrant was issued, that cost £110.

Council would not regard me as homeless until 28 days before I was to be evicted. The process from issuing of s21 took three and a half months. It can take longer depending on court waiting times. If ordinary baillifs (not high court) they give u two weeks notice.

Even with the bailiffs notice in my hand, council would not help until AFTER we'd been evicted. Evicted at 10.30, appt at council offices at 3pm, inspite of having 2 kids with ASD. They kind of made it as bad as it could be, really. Even a week before I was being told by council officer I should seek private rental even though he knew full well I could not move to cheaper area because would lose services for my kids (and how do u find a LA and property when on benefits as I was, with two kids who get into a state in familiar places let alone unfamiliar places).

Ask what the council's policy is with emergency accommodation. Some place in B&B, some don't. Mine places families in single room hostel accommodation in the area (not as bad as some areas). So I had to get letters from professionals (GP, social workers, consultants) to show why this would cause increased risks and harm for my children. We were placed straight into a maisonette instead of a hostel room because of this. I'd advise u to find out what your council normally does and if this is going to cause harm, line your ducks up with letters to prove why.

Congratulations on the new baby. I hope this helps.

Brilliant post.

PM regarding the CSA/CMS. I can help.

smallholdingsister

marksoton wrote: »

Why not? Dear lord woman take some bloody responsibility. YOU choose to sleep with these men and procreate. Why should the state pay for that decision?

Why should the state pay for

pensions for people choosing not to save
Benefits for those who lose jobs
healthcare for those who have eaten, drank, smoked or drugged themselves into ill health?

Because we (THANK the Good Lord) have a welfare state.

The OP is employed.

kimplus8

marksoton wrote: »

Why not? Dear lord woman take some bloody responsibility. YOU choose to sleep with these men and procreate. Why should the state pay for that decision?

When you apply to the CMS you pay a fee for their service and then they take a cut from both parents to pay for their service- they reclaim all court cost etc from the non red parent so actually for me to apply to the CMS for child support it costs me £20 and costs your 'state' nothing, plus I have a job and work really hard- their dads don't give a rats !!! but that is not my problem- do you honestly believe I should go banging on their doors for money, upsetting the lives of their 'other' families and new lives. How does that do me or my kids any good, it will cause distress to everyone concerned and will on serve for them to dig their heals in even further

Smodlet

marksoton, do you work for this NACSA outfit? It is beginning to sound as if you are touting for business for them, imho.

kimplus8

Smodlet wrote: »

marksoton, do you work for this NACSA outfit? It is beginning to sound as if you are touting for business for them, imho.

He seems to have no grasp on reality around non resident parents, especially if he thinks mothers should pay a private company to do what the CMS do. What powers does this association have that the CMS don't?