How to change stepson's surname?

PaulMike

Mojisola wrote: »

If your partner is struggling with her son's name reminding her of her failed relationship, that's something for her as an adult to deal with - she shouldn't be trying to rewrite history by changing her son's identity.

Don't overanalyse. Let's start with just spelling and pronouncing the surname, shall we?

Pollycat

PaulMike wrote: »

Don't overanalyse. Let's start with just spelling and pronouncing the surname, shall we?

It might have helped the flow of the thread if you had started with just spelling and pronouncing the surname. :cool:

GlasweJen

the kid might love his unusual surname, one of my friends kept her long polish surname on marriage as she loved it. He's never known any different, it's not like he's went from being John Smith to John Hzxseftfigliat and is now regretting it.

Mojisola

GlasweJen wrote: »

the kid might love his unusual surname, one of my friends kept her long polish surname on marriage as she loved it.

I have a friend who married a millionaire because, out of a big group of young women, her unusual surname caught his attention.

They've been married for years and are a very happy couple. She's glad she didn't change her name to something simpler!

TonyMMM

PaulMike wrote: »

Obviously, hence my question about the cost involved?

You need to speak to a solicitor as a first step to see what the chances of success are and get an estimate of costs, many offer a free 30min consultation. It won't be cheap - if it goes to a contested court hearing, it could be thousands.

If you are not married to the mother, then you have no legal connection to the child (unless you adopt him - which may also require the father's permission) which won't help.

FBaby

PaulMike wrote: »

How many really unpronounceable surnames have you come across in your life? Imaging living with one? Imagine being known at school only by the first name?

Clearly it wasn't an issue for mum when she put the name on the birth certificate why should it become one now your on the picture?

peachyprice

PaulMike wrote: »

How many really unpronounceable surnames have you come across in your life? Imaging living with one? Imagine being known at school only by the first name?

I had an unusual Portuguese surname for 10 years, my children have had it all their lives, we've been called all sorts because people can't understand the sequence of the letters they are trying to read, would I change their name because some people can't read it? Hell no, it's who they are and they enjoy the uniqueness.

If the child's school are only using his first name because they can't be bothered to find out how to say his surname, educate them, spell it out phonetically for them, but for the love of god don't use that as a feeble excuse to rename a child.

TBagpuss

If dad does not consent, it is unlikely that a court will make an order allowing the name change.

Historically, there used to be arguments about changing names so that a child did not stand out as being from a 'broken home', but with blended families, women etianing their own names and people not marrying before having children all being very common now a child will no longer stand out or face social pressure if they have a differnt name to a paretn or sibling.

Court's tend to take the view that the child's name is a part of their identity, and a link to the non-resident paretn which sould not be broken without very good reason.

Most of the cases where court applcitins have ben sucessful relate to situations wher e there are strong and unusual reasons for the name change (e.g unusual name and father has been convicted of high-profile crime OR father has a history of abuse and stalking nad change is needed to enable child to be safe, etc).

if it is important to you or your partner that you share a name with you son then you could consider changing or double-barrelling your name, to match you partner / step-son.

ViolaLass

PaulMike wrote: »

How many really unpronounceable surnames have you come across in your life? Imaging living with one? Imagine being known at school only by the first name?

When I married, I went from a fairly simple English-sounding surname to a very simple English-sounding surname.

I constantly have to spell the new one out.

So the question remains, what does the kid want?

maman

I have an unusual surname which means I answer to all sorts of variations and spellings. Although I remarried long ago it's actually my former married name which I've continued to use because so many people knew me by it both personally and professionally i.e. part of my identity. I'm posting this because I really don't think spelling and pronunciation is a good enough reason for changing a child's name.


I wouldn't expect a teacher to use a child's surname regularly in class as it's a close, friendly relationship. However I would expect in more formal situations (register, report, letters to parent etc.) that his surname is used. If the child is upset by his school not using his name then it's up to his mum to support him and take it up with the school and teach them how to say/spell it.


I can't see anything you've written gives you a strong case for changing the boy's name so, whatever the cost, you'd be wasting your money.