How to change stepson's surname?

74jax

PaulMike wrote: »

Don't overanalyse. Let's start with just spelling and pronouncing the surname, shall we?

So why didn't you start with that then?

Guest101

The short answer is you cant.


The court wont make such an order, except in very serious and unusual situations where the child's safety may be at risk.


You don't go around changing names of children on a whim.

Chlorine7

PaulMike wrote: »

How many really unpronounceable surnames have you come across in your life? Imaging living with one? Imagine being known at school only by the first name?

I've come across loads of unpronounceable surnames throughout school and work. So what?

Aren't most people known by their first name?

I have an unusual forename and use a totally different name in everyday life and a ridiculously long surname. I had them at school, I have them now. It really isn't a big deal.

Shelldean

You could pay a fortune in trying to get a court order and the judge decide to refuse to allow the change.
When we spoke with a solicitor about the same matter he simply said it will depend quite simply on the judge on the day and which side of bed they got out of.

And we had a reason to request the change, not just because no one can spell or pronounce it.

Shelldean

maman wrote: »

I have an unusual surname which means I answer to all sorts of variations and spellings. Although I remarried long ago it's actually my former married name which I've continued to use because so many people knew me by it both personally and professionally i.e. part of my identity. I'm posting this because I really don't think spelling and pronunciation is a good enough reason for changing a child's name.


I wouldn't expect a teacher to use a child's surname regularly in class as it's a close, friendly relationship. However I would expect in more formal situations (register, report, letters to parent etc.) that his surname is used. If the child is upset by his school not using his name then it's up to his mum to support him and take it up with the school and teach them how to say/spell it.


I can't see anything you've written gives you a strong case for changing the boy's name so, whatever the cost, you'd be wasting your money.

Actually maman, all three of my boys went thru school called by first name and Christian name. The twins certainly didn't have common names but unfortunately there were others boys with same Christian name so surnames added to distinguish between children.
Youngest son had a more common name that was also duplicated.

It's quite funny if we bump into their primary friends as even after all this time they're still addressed by their full names as it was everyday use.
Tho sometimes it was first name and initial of surname

maman

Shelldean wrote: »

Actually maman, all three of my boys went thru school called by first name and Christian name. The twins certainly didn't have common names but unfortunately there were others boys with same Christian name so surnames added to distinguish between children.
Youngest son had a more common name that was also duplicated.

It's quite funny if we bump into their primary friends as even after all this time they're still addressed by their full names as it was everyday use.
Tho sometimes it was first name and initial of surname

I thought of that as I was typing. It is surprisingly common to have children with the same forename in one age group so I know you're right.

I left it out to try to make the message to OP more straightforward. If the little boy is unhappy that the school is not using his surname then mother needs to support him and intervene.

It's seems ironic that the lad wants to use his name but the boyfriend is trying to change it!

KateBob

Shelldean wrote: »

Actually maman, all three of my boys went thru school called by first name and Christian name. The twins certainly didn't have common names but unfortunately there were others boys with same Christian name so surnames added to distinguish between children.
Youngest son had a more common name that was also duplicated.

It's quite funny if we bump into their primary friends as even after all this time they're still addressed by their full names as it was everyday use.
Tho sometimes it was first name and initial of surname

Yes my son has a not overly common or rare first name and inspite of attending a small village school was in a class with 2 other boys with the same name.

He therefore always signs his name as 'John S' even when signing family cards as that what he has to write on everything at school.

He moves up to secondary school in September and they've put all 3 of the boys in the same class again, so it's not going to end anytime soon.

Shelldean

Kate/Bob wrote: »

Yes my son has a not overly common or rare first name and inspite of attending a small village school was in a class with 2 other boys with the same name.

He therefore always signs his name as 'John S' even when signing family cards as that what he has to write on everything at school.

He moves up to secondary school in September and they've put all 3 of the boys in the same class again, so it's not going to end anytime soon.

Yes I have mother's day cards signed from Ben S. It was just pure habit to add the initial. Thankfully upon entering high school it all changed. But those days are long behind us thankfully.

But we digress from the OP :embarasse

Dird

Your partner having a child with some weird surname isn't a reason to change it. You also haven't answered multiple points:
1. Is the plan to change to your surname or your partner's surname?
2. Does the kid actually want this without you pushing him into your desired decision? Have the two of you actually asked him what he thinks rather than telling him what you think is best for him?

Imagine a Scott Jones with the nickname Jonesy at school. Next year his new teachers are calling out Scott Michaels on the register and all his classmates are like "!!!!!!?!" Nickname ruined and made to stand out

Bossypants

PaulMike wrote: »

Don't overanalyse. Let's start with just spelling and pronouncing the surname, shall we?

Personally I think you should start with what the boy wants (which several people have asked but you have not responded to), but that's just me...