I'm finally debt-free! Husband isn't. Now what?

Smodlet

Hello again, purple, and thank you for the updates! It sounds as if things are going well and DH has acquitted himself better than might have been looked for; this is great news.

Only he knows how he feels but I wonder, could it be that he actually needed you to take control and give him some kind of "structure" or boundaries (you say he is like an overgrown child) to make him feel better? From what you wrote before, it sounded as if he was abdicating responsibility; now you have taken over his finances, he has carte blanche to do just that but, we hope, without getting deeper into debt.

Well done, you! :T:T:T:T:T

P.S. Many congrats on your debt-free badge... fame at last, eh? Just remember those of us who "knew" you before you won Chat of the Week, OK? ;0)

[Deleted User]

Smodlet wrote: »

Hello again, purple, and thank you for the updates! It sounds as if things are going well and DH has acquitted himself better than might have been looked for; this is great news.

Only he knows how he feels but I wonder, could it be that he actually needed you to take control and give him some kind of "structure" or boundaries (you say he is like an overgrown child) to make him feel better? From what you wrote before, it sounded as if he was abdicating responsibility; now you have taken over his finances, he has carte blanche to do just that but, we hope, without getting deeper into debt.

Well done, you! :T:T:T:T:T

P.S. Many congrats on your debt-free badge... fame at last, eh? Just remember those of us who "knew" you before you won Chat of the Week, OK? ;0)

Hahahaha Smodlet!:rotfl: I will try and make sure the fame does not go to my head I will wear my debt-free badge with pride and will not forget the mere mortals who helped me get my post on Chat of the Week lol! :D:o;) To be fair, it's probably only become chat of the week because of all of the positive, different and interesting replies, so thank you for that guys! :A:)

Thank you for your applausing smiling faces! :T I do agree with you and get the feeling that he is quite ok with me sorting him out and taking control. (I really like taking control of this situation for him, it does wonders for my OCD !) He has asked me these past 2 Fridays what his money is going to go towards each time, and has told me what he's got planned for the weekend too, which is not a lot compared to what he usually did and is (he says) not bothering him as much as he thought it would.
He's also started to ask things like 'if he continues paying such and such a debt like this, when will it be paid off?' etc, and is looking approvingly at the responses, and I do remind him that if he didn't do this then they would hang araound for a lot longer and cost him £x amount of interest. :cool:
I have 3 kids and I manage them pretty well, so managing one more at the moment is a breeze!!!

Thanks again, Smodlet, will keep you updated!xx

Smodlet

What a lovely thing to say, I had not thought of it like that, purple but I maintain it was you and your eloquence that won you Chat of the Week, without in any way intending to denigrate your correspondents. When will you be on Loose Women?

If checking the bank every day = OCD, then I've got it too, and I don't mind in the slightest. :cool:

I see you have caught ECD from me... Emoticon Compulsive Disorder :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

Smodlet wrote: »

What a lovely thing to say, I had not thought of it like that, purple but I maintain it was you and your eloquence that won you Chat of the Week, without in any way intending to denigrate your correspondents. When will you be on Loose Women?

Thank you, but it was definitely a joint accomplishment and I do like to look at the positives and try and be fair with other people, most of the time! As for Loose Women?! I've not watched that in years! You will be the first to know if I decide to audition, get the part and blow my annonymous cover! :rotfl:I would wear purple everyday until you noticed!

If checking the bank every day = OCD, then I've got it too, and I don't mind in the slightest. :cool:

I check everyday, I have a routine in the morning where I check my bank account, hubby's bank account (nearly wrote his name then!), my email account etc. I don't feel rested until I do! Mad isn't it? I already have all incomings and outgoings written down in my notepad, but no, I still have to check to be sure, and to mentally stabilise my 'OCD'

I see you have caught ECD from me... Emoticon Compulsive Disorder :rotfl:

hahahaha!

Ah yes, the dreaded ECD :eek: Yes, I blame you Smodlet, my first post had virtually no splashes of emotional colour, and now I have really jazzed up my posts with lots of impulsive emoji clicks! :rotfl: It must be like your positivity and caring attitude - contagious! :A:D:)
Lets have a few more :staradmin:grin::grinheart:rotfl:

Thank you again! xxx

Smodlet

In my defence, purple, I caught ECD from this forum and this is after having been warned in the weekly email to take precautions, oh yes. Apparently, you can be charged a hefty whack for using them... I assumed this would not be true of the MSE-provided ones as that would just be wrong.

You sound so upbeat and I am so glad. While it is in no way my place to say so, I am proud of you, fwiw... I never used to do textese, either.

ERICS_MUM

Mojisola wrote: »

Start making him pay for half the living expenses! If he has enough money to waste on gambling, he has enough to pay his share of the food he's eating, the electricity he's using, the rent on the home he lives in and so on.

He's taking you for a fool - I couldn't live with someone who had so little respect for me that he was able to waste his money while watching me spend all mine on paying the bills.

I thought the same and was even going to suggest she 're-think' her relationship with him, but then I read that OP and her DH have 3 children !! I'm shocked to think that a dad and husband could put his family in such a situation.

I have absolutely no advice, except to tell OP that she's doing brilliantly and to keep it up, she's securing her kids' future and that's the main thing.

EM xx