How much rent should my parents charge me?

Mojisola

SmarterNotHarder wrote: »

My parents didn't want to take anything from me.

I then had a massive argument with my mother. As she was concerned, I was her child and therefore it was her job to look after me. I was 20 something at the time, working full time, earning over £1000 per month.

This is something that some parents struggle with which is why they feel it's wrong to take money from their adult children.

I'm still my children's mother but they are adults and our relationship is different compared to when they were children and dependent on their parents.

We all support each other in the family, as and when it's needed.

I helped out my parents and they supported me at times - emotionally, financially, etc - and I have the same relationship with my kids. We're all adults now - I'm not responsible for their lives any more now that they are grown ups. They have enough self-respect not to expect someone else to pay their bills for them.

JReacher1

Mojisola wrote: »

This is something that some parents struggle with which is why they feel it's wrong to take money from their adult children.

I'm still my children's mother but they are adults and our relationship is different compared to when they were children and dependent on their parents.

We all support each other in the family, as and when it's needed.

I helped out my parents and they supported me at times - emotionally, financially, etc - and I have the same relationship with my kids. We're all adults now - I'm not responsible for their lives any more now that they are grown ups. They have enough self-respect not to expect someone else to pay their bills for them.

I'm confused why because a parent refuses to profit from their son/daughter it means that the child must have no self respect.

It's frankly horrible to criticise parents or disrespect their children just because the parent is financially comfortable enough to not need to charge their son/daughter.

Mojisola

JReacher1 wrote: »

I'm confused why because a parent refuses to profit from their son/daughter it means that the child must have no self respect.

It's frankly horrible to criticise parents or disrespect their children just because the parent is financially comfortable enough to not need to charge their son/daughter.

Another adult in the house paying the extra on the bills that results from them living there is not 'profiteering'.

When a parent is a lot better off than their children, it's very easy to keep the 'parent/child' dynamics going rather than learn to live as all adults. I don't think it helps our children to keep them as children.

NYM

When did this discussion switch from 'what do people think is a reasonable amount to pay for living at home with Mum & Dad' to the idea that parents might be profiteering from it?

JReacher1

Mojisola wrote: »

Another adult in the house paying the extra on the bills that results from them living there is not 'profiteering'.

When a parent is a lot better off than their children, it's very easy to keep the 'parent/child' dynamics going rather than learn to live as all adults. I don't think it helps our children to keep them as children.

A person who lives at their parents house and doesn't pay rent does not as you said "lack self respect".

If you win the lottery and lived in a big mansion and you're 21 year old son was living with you would you still charge him rent?

If the answer is no you're a hypocrite.

Pollycat

NYM wrote: »

When did this discussion switch from 'what do people think is a reasonable amount to pay for living at home with Mum & Dad' to the idea that parents might be profiteering from it?

Might have been this post:

silvercar wrote: »

Am I the only parent who wouldn't charge their adult child more than the additional costs of having them at home?

It sometimes feels that way on here.

All this talk of comparing the costs of bedsits locally and splitting the house costs by the number of adults in the home lacks any mention of that fact that someone is moving home to cut their costs. Families support each other not see their children as opportunities for profit.

pollypenny

Yea, gods, this has gone in a daft direction.

When our 6 foot, rugby-playing, gym-attending, cycling son came back for while and was eating us out of house and home, were we profiting from him by charging him £50 a week from his £32k salary?

I did his washing and ironed his shirts, cheaper than him putting two shirts in the machine. OH cooked for us all. DS mowed the lawn. A family working together.

Oh, he also had my car for work, as he had to work for a year before being entitled to a lease vehicle through the local authority.

Wicked parents profiteering!

Peter333

SmarterNotHarder wrote: »

My parents didn't want to take anything from me. (They didn't want me to live away from home anyway unless I was working far enough away to make a difference as they see it as chucking money away). They wanted me to save up for a deposit on a house instead of renting to pay someone else’s mortgage.

Mojisola wrote: »

This is something that some parents struggle with which is why they feel it's wrong to take money from their adult children.

I'm still my children's mother but they are adults and our relationship is different compared to when they were children and dependent on their parents.

We all support each other in the family, as and when it's needed.

I helped out my parents and they supported me at times - emotionally, financially, etc - and I have the same relationship with my kids. We're all adults now - I'm not responsible for their lives any more now that they are grown ups. They have enough self-respect not to expect someone else to pay their bills for them.

JReacher1 wrote: »

I'm confused why because a parent refuses to profit from their son/daughter it means that the child must have no self respect.

It's frankly horrible to criticise parents or disrespect their children just because the parent is financially comfortable enough to not need to charge their son/daughter.

Mojisola wrote: »

Another adult in the house paying the extra on the bills that results from them living there is not 'profiteering'.

When a parent is a lot better off than their children, it's very easy to keep the 'parent/child' dynamics going rather than learn to live as all adults. I don't think it helps our children to keep them as children.

I agree Mojisola.

And I have to say; it's hard to discuss anything when someone misses the point so spectacularly. There is nothing 'horrible' about your ADULT children contributing financially to the household. And the 'what if you're a millionaire' analogy is moot, because hardly anyone is, and the ADULT child would probably have their own place anyway if the family was rich.

Most adults I know who live with their parents would not dream of not contributing something to the household. I find it utterly bizarre that an adult wouldn't contribute. And it's borderline hilarious that people accuse parents who have board money off their ADULT children as profiteering. Never heard that before in my life! Just when I thought I'd heard everything! :rotfl:

JReacher1

Peter333 wrote: »

I agree Mojisola.

And I have to say; it's hard to discuss anything when someone misses the point so spectacularly. There is nothing 'horrible' about your ADULT children contributing financially to the household. And the 'what if you're a millionaire' analogy is moot, because hardly anyone is, and the ADULT child would probably have their own place anyway if the family was rich.

Most adults I know who live with their parents would not dream of not contributing something to the household. I find it utterly bizarre that an adult wouldn't contribute. And it's borderline hilarious that people accuse parents who have board money off their ADULT children as profiteering. Never heard that before in my life! Just when I thought I'd heard everything! :rotfl:

There is nothing horrible about a parent not asking their child to contribute either.

It seems people on here (I assume they charge their kids rent) are saying that if your kid doesn't pay rent then he is not a self respecting adult.

That is not fair at all

JReacher1

pollypenny wrote: »

Yea, gods, this has gone in a daft direction.

When our 6 foot, rugby-playing, gym-attending, cycling son came back for while and was eating us out of house and home, were we profiting from him by charging him £50 a week from his £32k salary?

I did his washing and ironed his shirts, cheaper than him putting two shirts in the machine. OH cooked for us all. DS mowed the lawn. A family working together.

Oh, he also had my car for work, as he had to work for a year before being entitled to a lease vehicle through the local authority.

Wicked parents profiteering!

If the cost of having your son in your house was more than £50 a week then no you wouldn't be profiting from your son. If the cost of having your son in your house was less than £50 then yes you are profiting from your son.

It's basic maths