How much rent should my parents charge me?

suki1964

Thunderbird4 wrote: »

Can you provide evidence or a source for the word "most". I suspect that is absolute garbage and again just a way to salve your conscience to justify profiting from your own child.

Why is taking board from an adult living in a household of adults profiteering ?

On another thread you admit that pooling rescources and sharing bills is what adults do

The comment you made about charging your wife is just pain rediculous as you say she shares the bills jointly with you. So in a way you are charging her

Tbh it's neither here nor there what we think about asking for housekeep, the op has been asked to pay it and is the one who either pays up or ships out.

Pollycat

Thunderbird4 wrote: »

A

Yes you're right saying I have a job does imply that I'm not financially comfortable:wall:

Bang away with your head. :rotfl:

Of course having a job doesn't mean you're financially comfortable.

You could have a job that pays minimum wage on zero hours contract - and worry about paying the rent/mortgage and bills.

That may be classed as 'financially comfortable' in your book but it isn't in mine.

Thunderbird4

Mojisola wrote: »

If an extra adult in the household covers the extra that their presence adds to the bills, no-one if profiting from that payment.

If they don't pay, they are costing the other people in the household money.

Why would a responsible adult, especially one who is earning, want other people to pay their living costs?

He costs me less now than he did when he was 17. I don't need to buy his clothes, toiletries, phone, car etc.

The actual difference in living costs of having him in the house are very little. It doesn't cost much more to feed 4 than 3 people. The heat, water, electricity wouldn't be massively different if he wasn't living in the house and things like broadband, tv license, Sky make no account of how many people use it.

As already discussed (numerous times) he is saving for a mortgage and I don't need any money off him.

Thunderbird4

Pollycat wrote: »

Bang away with your head. :rotfl:

Of course having a job doesn't mean you're financially comfortable.

You could have a job that pays minimum wage on zero hours contract - and worry about paying the rent/mortgage and bills.

That may be classed as 'financially comfortable' in your book but it isn't in mine.

You said that because I said I had a job that implied I wasn't financially comfortable.

That is frankly ridiculous.....

warby68

I think a bit of chilling is in order here

Can everyone agree its largely the parent's decision who lives with them and on what terms?

And that the amount of £50 cannot be considered high at all when compared to the cost of other living options?

And that the OP's problem is really lack of income ?

As with younger children, there are a thousand different parenting strategies and they always seem to be a touchy subject.

SailorSam

Has anyone just been listening to the Money Programme on R4, which has just finished ?
The whole programme was about the difficulties people have in affording a house of rheir own these days. There was much about the bank-of-mum-and-dad, even though some of the couples that were featured had had a good education and were now in good jobs they still struggled.
The most interesting, at least as far as this thread is concerned was a daughter in her 30s who had come to live back at home. When the Mum was spoke she said she'd helped all her Children, but she was struggling now because she'd lost so much privacy, and felt she'd reached the time in her life that she wasn't able to do things which they'd hoped.
I don't know if you can get it yet on Iplayer. I did wonder for a minute if someone from the Bbc had read this thread and gone looking for the Op.

Pollycat

Thunderbird4 wrote: »

You said that because I said I had a job that implied I wasn't financially comfortable.

That is frankly ridiculous.....

No I didn't.

You said

Thunderbird4 wrote: »

I worked hard to provide a home for my family. I earn my money by working not by charging my children.

So you go to work to keep your adult child. :rotfl:

AylesburyDuck

Wow, im getting flashbacks to my playground days.
Go on, flip a coin, see which one of you will have the last word!

SmarterNotHarder

I have been reading this thread with interest, from a point of view of a 30 something woman who has been to uni, been travelling, lived away from home in-between and moved back in with my parents after I returned from travelling and found myself skint. My father has retired relatively recently. I also have some issues with depression and anxiety, although obviously not the crippling illness that some people suffer with. I actively try to do things that scare me because I refuse to be held to ransom by my brain. Sometimes it's successful, sometimes it's a horrible mess. But if I don't try, I'll never know. What I'm trying to say is that I share some circumstances with the OP.

My parents didn't want to take anything from me. (They didn't want me to live away from home anyway unless I was working far enough away to make a difference as they see it as chucking money away). They wanted me to save up for a deposit on a house instead of renting to pay someone else’s mortgage.

Luckily I found a job really quickly after moving back, so although I applied for JSA for the NI contributions more than anything else, there wasn't time for them to process it before I started working, so I admit, in those few weeks I gave my parents nothing.

I then had a massive argument with my mother. As she was concerned, I was her child and therefore it was her job to look after me. I was 20 something at the time, working full time, earning over £1000 per month. Yes, I had a bit of debt, but that was my problem, not hers.

I will say here though, if you can't handle the stress of holding down a full time job, don't move countries, even somewhere English speaking. That stuff is way more stressful, especially somewhere where they don't have the same welfare systems that they have here. Most Americans are one medical emergency away from bankruptcy, and your employer gets to choose what they'll cover. Do you really want to risk an employer choosing not to cover a pre existing mental health condition?

As far as I was concerned, if you are a child, it is your parents’ job to look after you. In the same vein, if you are a child they get to tell you what time to go to bed, when to get home, how many vegetables you should be eating. They get to have input into all areas of your life, you get the picture. I wasn't up for that.

That's not to say they can't help you out temporarily while you get on your feet, but expecting them to support you indefinitely is madness.

We reached a compromise, mum definitely didn't want to “profit”, and the house was paid off. So I calculated a third of the costs plus the extras I insisted on/cost them (e.g. unlimited broadband, half the council tax after my dad retired) and pay them that plus a bit. It works out to £260 pcm, or 60 per week. I still think that’s pretty low. I have over 75% of my wage to do what I like with. Ok I have a car to run, but that’s my choice. I don’t believe my parents have ever had 75% of their wages to do as they like with. I know our argument was a bit upside down, but I remember my parents struggling when I was growing up. Why should they have to now?

My parents aren't perfect however, and I envy the OPs ability to talk about her mental illness with her family. My parents just don't get it and view any mental illness as being “weak”. Ah well you can’t have everything. As for chores, that goes without saying. We did chores as children including washing/ironing/cleaning/cooking. (Before anyone has a go this was pretty much age appropriate, although maybe slightly younger than some of my peers. That said, I wasn’t the one who turned up to uni not knowing how to work a vacuum cleaner or washing machine. That would have been embarrassing.) Not to “help”, but because we were part of the household, and as such it was our job too. Nothing has changed there. To be quite frank, the idea of my dad hanging out my lacy pants gives me the collywobbles.

Just another POV.

Pollycat

SmarterNotHarder wrote: »

I have been reading this thread with interest, from a point of view of a 30 something woman who has been to uni, been travelling, lived away from home in-between and moved back in with my parents after I returned from travelling and found myself skint. My father has retired relatively recently. I also have some issues with depression and anxiety, although obviously not the crippling illness that some people suffer with. I actively try to do things that scare me because I refuse to be held to ransom by my brain. Sometimes it's successful, sometimes it's a horrible mess. But if I don't try, I'll never know. What I'm trying to say is that I share some circumstances with the OP.

My parents didn't want to take anything from me. (They didn't want me to live away from home anyway unless I was working far enough away to make a difference as they see it as chucking money away). They wanted me to save up for a deposit on a house instead of renting to pay someone else’s mortgage.

Luckily I found a job really quickly after moving back, so although I applied for JSA for the NI contributions more than anything else, there wasn't time for them to process it before I started working, so I admit, in those few weeks I gave my parents nothing.

I then had a massive argument with my mother. As she was concerned, I was her child and therefore it was her job to look after me. I was 20 something at the time, working full time, earning over £1000 per month. Yes, I had a bit of debt, but that was my problem, not hers.

I will say here though, if you can't handle the stress of holding down a full time job, don't move countries, even somewhere English speaking. That stuff is way more stressful, especially somewhere where they don't have the same welfare systems that they have here. Most Americans are one medical emergency away from bankruptcy, and your employer gets to choose what they'll cover. Do you really want to risk an employer choosing not to cover a pre existing mental health condition?

As far as I was concerned, if you are a child, it is your parents’ job to look after you. In the same vein, if you are a child they get to tell you what time to go to bed, when to get home, how many vegetables you should be eating. They get to have input into all areas of your life, you get the picture. I wasn't up for that.

That's not to say they can't help you out temporarily while you get on your feet, but expecting them to support you indefinitely is madness.

We reached a compromise, mum definitely didn't want to “profit”, and the house was paid off. So I calculated a third of the costs plus the extras I insisted on/cost them (e.g. unlimited broadband, half the council tax after my dad retired) and pay them that plus a bit. It works out to £260 pcm, or 60 per week. I still think that’s pretty low. I have over 75% of my wage to do what I like with. Ok I have a car to run, but that’s my choice. I don’t believe my parents have ever had 75% of their wages to do as they like with. I know our argument was a bit upside down, but I remember my parents struggling when I was growing up. Why should they have to now?

My parents aren't perfect however, and I envy the OPs ability to talk about her mental illness with her family. My parents just don't get it and view any mental illness as being “weak”. Ah well you can’t have everything. As for chores, that goes without saying. We did chores as children including washing/ironing/cleaning/cooking. (Before anyone has a go this was pretty much age appropriate, although maybe slightly younger than some of my peers. That said, I wasn’t the one who turned up to uni not knowing how to work a vacuum cleaner or washing machine. That would have been embarrassing.) Not to “help”, but because we were part of the household, and as such it was our job too. Nothing has changed there. To be quite frank, the idea of my dad hanging out my lacy pants gives me the collywobbles.

Just another POV.

You sound the polar opposite of the OP.