OS menopause memories?

beecher2

I kept meaning to look at books and have bought 'Making friends with the menopause' which looks quite good. Only £2.25 for the Kindle - not something I'd normally buy for a beach holiday but needs must.

lobbyludd

thanks everyone for this, my friend and I were recently bemoaning the lack of open conversation about menopause (both of our mothers have passed away so we don't have that generational link), and what to expect so it's lovely to have the different experiences of everyone on this thread.

I've given up coffee which has helped enormously with my hot flushes, but my memory is dreadful and it's that which I am most upset about (although glad it's probably hormonal rather than early dementia)

Tipsntreats

milasavesmoney I have always had hot feet at night. They have become hotter since the menopause.
What annoys me is, in the Winter, I go to bed feeling cold, snuggle down, fall asleep, then Whoa, the dreaded Night sweat! When it is over, I am cold and sweaty. This lovely event happens at least four times a night! Grrrrrr
Funny story for you all: I was shopping in Iceland the other week. A lady next to me started having a bit of a turn."Are you ok?" I enquired. "It's a hot flush" she said. So I got a pack of frozen peas from the freezer there, and put them on her back. "Oh how lovely, that is just the right place" she said. Well anyone watching would have wondered what we were up to. Most especially those listening to the sighs of relief!
Tips x.

dandy-candy

I'm wondering if menopause changes how you feel about relationships. I have a friend who has been by best friend for 20 years but last year she did something really carpy to me and screwed me over. I was so astonished by it that I sort of went into denial and accepted her excuses when everyone else said it was her being spiteful.
Since then I feel more and more that she is selfish, catty and using me - and I wish I had told her to sling her hook at the time. I feel ready to do it now, which has surprised me. Maybe menopause is tied to not suffering fools?

moneyistooshorttomention

I wouldnt think its menopause per se - and I'm guessing the same happens with men too??

I think it's probably down to having spent rather more years on the Planet by now and had more life experience, etc, etc, and realising it isnt the end of the world if someone is "off" to you one way or another.

That phrase "Sticks and stones may break my bones - but words will never hurt me" starts to become clearer. That being - an extra number of "years under your belt" means hurtful actions/words can and do still hurt sometimes. But you realise that, ultimately, words are only words (even if someone has said them with the quite deliberate intention of being hurtful - rather than that being an accidental by-product). The only thing that can actually hurt you realistically is "sticks and stones" - eg if someone manages to damage your finances/cause physical hurt to your body/walk off with your husband. Everything else may hurt - but it's only words and therefore doesnt really have an effect and being older means you just shrug shoulders/think "tomorrow is another day" and arent nearly as bothered as you might have been when younger.

I'm sorry to hear that a friend has treated you that way - and one that you had thought of as such a good friend too. But all one can do in those circumstances is learn what lessons can be learned from it (ie how to spot behaviour like that coming basically) and move on.

With age comes thinking "I may want other people around - but I don't actually need them and it's a bonus if there are nice ones around to be with. But if there arent - then there arent....",

Tipsntreats

dandy-candy, moneyistooshorttomention is right. I sometimes turn people around like that, by doing the unexpected, being extra nice. This often stops them in their tracks, as it was not what they hoped to achieve. Yes, the meno makes us all grouchy at times. But two wrongs do not make a right.
If you have known her that long, then ask her face to face, what is her problem. Or even better, ask her if there is a problem, that she is not telling you about, and what could you do to help.

Tips x

peachyprice

LaineyT wrote: »

One other thing for me is joint pain, especially my hips and Achilles, am a reasonably active lady but my heels especially are really bad first thing in the morning, feels like rigor mortis has set in over night :rotfl: so have started taking a glaucosamine supplement with interestingly has an amount of Vit D in it so hopefully that will help my body absorb calcium etc as well?

I have the achilles and hip thing, I was hobbling about for the first 5 mins after getting up in the morning and stiff in the hips after sitting on the sofa in the evening, however, I was diagnosed as vit D deficient and am now on my 3rd weeks of prescribed supplements, I have to say my ankles and hips are actually getting better, I have another 5 weeks of Vit D to take, so I am hoping it will continue to improve.

As for brain fog, I lost my house keys last week, the last place I remember having them was in Tesco for the self scan handset, haven't seen them since

moneyistooshorttomention

Maybe another reason mid-life tends to bring on taking up gardening as a hobby? - ie being out in the sunshine being a cost-free way to top up the Vitamin D levels?

I know I'm coming to look at things that way. That being that if I've spent at least 15 minutes outside around the middle of the day with either arms or legs uncovered (make that arms in my case then....) then I've probably had my Vit. D ration for the day - but, if I havent then I'd better take a Vit. D pill instead. Hopefully that will deal with things.

Cynics take for the day being - that getting older does get more expensive. Different supplements for various bits of the body/health problems that come on anyway despite the best will in the world/right through to the personal "digging in of heels" thing of "If I can't live like ME by now it's a darn poor show at my age" and doing so regardless (ie spending whatever money one thinks is reasonable on reasonable diet/reasonable social life/etc because of the "By my age I should....." factor):rotfl:

Take it from me - there does come a time (to many of us) when you "dig your heels in" and literally refuse to economise any more because of the "If I cant have what is reasonable to need/wish for by my age then I'll never do so" factor - and so you do so regardless:rotfl:

peachyprice

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Cynics take for the day being - that getting older does get more expensive.

Too damn right it does, I paid £15 yesterday to get more keys cut! :rotfl:

Tipsntreats

I heard my hubby telling his friend that SHE has always had women's problems. It is true, I suffered for years with PMS, I called it my Jekyll and Hyde syndrome- 2 weeks normal, 2 weeks awful. The thing is it is not only women with hormonal problems is it? Why else was viagra made? I don't suppose there is a thread for the men's problems, is there?
Anyway, when the change arrived, I really thought I would be free - WRONG
I am confused why some women are having babies at quite an old age. I was worn out at 29.