Finding the dating game so harsh!

heavenfire

jamiehelsinki wrote: »

I joined pof yesterday anyway, looking at the profiles I'm not sure what to make of it,
A few things I noticed lots of pretty faces with the neck down hidden,
Is there something wrong with pretty faces? Isn't that what you'll be looking at most of the time
Lots of group photos and you don't know which one they are, I dislike that too and it's normally the one you're not attracted to.
Lots of demands on height, I can kinda understand that being a tall woman but then again I seem to mostly date shorter men.
They don't want FUN!, Hmm a strange one or does that just mean they're not up for no strings attached?
A lot put nothing down in the description, !!!!!!? That unfortunately is not just a woman thing

I'm not a great fan of online dating although I do go back to it every now and then, only to be reminded of why I don't like it :rotfl:

ThumbRemote

Guest101 wrote: »

I must be traditional, I cant stand this internet dating malarkey.

Between work, social life and day to day - there must be hundreds of opportunities.

The problem with online dating, and society in general, is we expect everything to be 24/7 and available within 5 minutes.

Another poster said it, we forget behind the screen there's a person. But that person is talking to 5 other people and they're talking to 5 others etc etc.

What happened to getting butterflies, getting to know someone, etc.

- but that's just me

Do you also handwash your clothes, travel by pony and cart, and use leeches to treat any medical ailments?

Sometimes new things come along, and people find them useful.

jamiehelsinki

heavenfire wrote: »

I'm not a great fan of online dating although I do go back to it every now and then, only to be reminded of why I don't like it :rotfl:

If there's one picture ok, but if there's 2 or 3 close ups of the face and no body pics I think what is she hiding.

Group pics are okay if you say which one you are.

When they are only 5,4" do they really need a 6' footer, not one of my close friends would meet that requirement.

I was being sarcastic hence the capitals, I get that one.

They put things like make more effort than just "hi" but have put nothing about themselves and made no effort with their profile.

i've had quite a few views but no messages, not messaged anyone either though!

bundly

Dill wrote: »

I would have thought most people have hobbies and interests which would enable them to socialise with others in real life, though some do work long or unsociable hours, so that might perhaps be a problem.

You'd think no-one ever dated anyone before the internet :rotfl:

No, not at all. In my experience of doing sports, evening classes and suchlike, everyone of my age (in my 50s) is already married or in a long term, and many had their partners with them.

I work at home, alone. I occasionally meet clients, all already "taken". I don't go to pubs as I don't drink, and so, no, I have no opportunities in real life to meet a new partner.

bundly

OP people don't stand you up because there is anything wrong with you! If there was, they would not have chatted to you or made a date. They always do it because of something at THEIR end, that has nothing to do with you: cold feet, secretly married or in a relationship, or were just flirting and playing about on the Net with no intention to meet.

Same thing happened to me a few times. I travelled by train once 65 miles and another time 30 miles, paying the extortionate train fares, and got stood up. Then I found a way to cure it!

I made a rule to always make a date to meet at a place no more than 5 minutes walk from my house. Then I told the man to phone my mobile when he was 10 or 5 minutes away from the meeting place, and I would not leave home until he rang me.

I never got stood up again.

Do that.

poorlittlefish

That's a great plan, but unfortunately for me I live out in the sticks where there's nowhere to go to. What I do at least is arrange to meet somewhere in the city I work in (Cardiff) on an evening after work. I've had a few guys who live there asking me to meet them someplace there over the weekend, but no way am I going to risk driving an hour. If they're not prepared to meet somewhere halfway they can jog on because that tells me they want all the convenience and none of the effort.

jamiehelsinki

What's your search radius?

I find most people living in Cardiff think it's the only place in Wales.

SailorSam

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

If you're in the north and under 50 PM me!

And if you're in the north and over 50, PM me.

It use to upset me whenever i never got replies to messages i sent, or a woman would disappear after we'd 'talked' a couple of times. I mean i know i'm not Gods gift, but neither do i think you need to have 6 pints before speaking to me. I couldn't figure what it was i was doing wrong, i never sent short ..... 'Hi, Wanna Chat' messages. I'd read profiles and sent a chatty message suited to it, but still no reply.
But still nothing. Then i realised it wasn't just me it happens to everyone. I read the forums on PoF and it's a subject that comes up over and over again with posters of both sex complaining. Age; looks, nothing seems to make any difference. Obviously i'm still not happy when it happens but makes me feel better that it's not me personally. Their loss, that's why the keep ending up with deadbeats who are only trying to get into their pants.

poorlittlefish

SailorSam wrote: »

And if you're in the north and over 50, PM me.

I couldn't figure what it was i was doing wrong, i never sent short ..... 'Hi, Wanna Chat' messages. I'd read profiles and sent a chatty message suited to it, but still no reply.

Their loss, that's why the keep ending up with deadbeats who are only trying to get into their pants.

I do exactly the same as you, putting effort into what I write, and wonder how those who just write "Hi hun" get anywhere (maybe they don't!). I find that a lot of men only make statements about themselves and never ask questions, making conversation one-sided at best. How can you get to know someone you're supposedly interested in if you talk only about you?! I'm guessing women do that too?

CRANKY40

I had one date from PoF....I didn't particularly fancy him but he waited until I met him to tell me that he had cardiomyopathy. As a young (ish) widow whose late husband died of a heart attack that was just a non-starter. The second date I had was introduced to me by a friend. He had to be removed from my house by another friend after drinking 3/4 of a bottle of scotch in less than two hours. I gave up after that....

I've been on my own with the small person now for seven years although every now and then (usually after alcohol) I reactivate my PoF account. Some people on there say they don't want to waste time chatting to people who aren't interested - they'd rather go on a date straight away and see if there's a spark, but I quite like chatting first to see if we have anything much to say to each other. I think internet dating has it's place - I don't get out much as a solo parent....but having done the marriage and baby thing finding someone to settle down with doesn't seem that important any more if you know what I mean.

Incidentally, I do have a lot of real life friends that I have acquired from chatting on internet forums and who I have met and continued to meet up with. Maybe that could be a way forward for some of you. At least if a group of you with common interests meet up there will be plenty to talk about