Finding the dating game so harsh!

onomatopoeia99

Guest101 wrote: »

Between work, social life and day to day - there must be hundreds of opportunities.

Zero opportunities in my workplace. Social life? Felt like it in my 20s, then suddenly everyone (including me) seemed to be in relationships. When your relationship ends after 30 and (once ready for another) suddenly everyone you interact with is married / living together, then again, no.

Day to day? What's that? I don't hit on the women on the checkout at Tesco as that would be creepy as anything.

I haven't tried internet dating, but the opportunities out there "off line" seem slimmer that you appear to think. As for butterflies and getting to know somoene, why do you think these things would not happen if the initial connection is made online? The process of falling for the other person from the initial conversation is still going to be basically the same.

Dill

I would have thought most people have hobbies and interests which would enable them to socialise with others in real life, though some do work long or unsociable hours, so that might perhaps be a problem.

You'd think no-one ever dated anyone before the internet :rotfl:

Guest101

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Zero opportunities in my workplace. Social life? Felt like it in my 20s, then suddenly everyone (including me) seemed to be in relationships. When your relationship ends after 30 and (once ready for another) suddenly everyone you interact with is married / living together, then again, no.

Day to day? What's that? I don't hit on the women on the checkout at Tesco as that would be creepy as anything.

I haven't tried internet dating, but the opportunities out there "off line" seem slimmer that you appear to think. As for butterflies and getting to know somoene, why do you think these things would not happen if the initial connection is made online? The process of falling for the other person from the initial conversation is still going to be basically the same.

I guess body language, familiarity, spontaneity etc is important to me and doesn't seem possible with the online version.


I'm not saying you 'hit on' the cashier, but surely a chance to try out a harmless joke, bring out a smile, just feel at ease talking to anyone.


Like I said it might just be me, but harmless flirting at work or out and about, even when you're in a relationship, I think builds your own confidence and self worth.


Some people seem to fear rejection so much - the world isn't going to swallow you up. Having that face to face, rather than, face to screen interaction is important, at least to me.

jamiehelsinki

Dill wrote: »

I would have thought most people have hobbies and interests which would enable them to socialise with others in real life, though some do work long or unsociable hours, so that might perhaps be a problem.

You'd think no-one ever dated anyone before the internet :rotfl:

My hobbies are male dominated, I think meeting ppl as you get older has always been more difficult though.

Pennysmakepounds

It is hard getting back into the dating game at 30/40…..By that age you are normally working and have no energy and time to socialise as you did in your teens and 20’s…….

When you’re young everyone you hang out with is also normally young, single and free and up for a laugh…..in your 30/40 that changes…people are in relationships or it’s complicated…..

I have to be honest if I had to find a new relationship at my age (42), I don’t know if I would have the energy to even bother.

The problem is you have this perfect person in mind….and that does not change with age….you want someone smart/fit & sexy/cute….

The first thing that has to be right is the LOOKS….Criticise me all you want but if you look like the back end of a bus…you will struggle immensely trying to find someone.

On these dating sites if the profile picture does not tick the right boxes, that’s it game over…before it even starts.

Sad but true.

ptoner27

I've just started this dating thing too.

I wonder if when I 'wink' at someone the recipient is as offended as I am when someone 'winks' at me!
The first thing that hits my brain is "Do I look that old?" and so I think I ought to be dating someone half my age.

I'm beginning to think its like Social Media in general - people are hiding behind a facade and then when reality bites, they can't take it so they disappear...

mariposa687

I probably shouldn't have read this thread! Now I'm worried. I'm starting to consider on-line dating for a few reasons as it does seem hard to meet people and I'm quite social. I feel out of touch as I've never really done it before and have no idea how to write even a basic Tinder profile.

caprikid1

Online dating is superb, finding myself divorced with 2 children aged mid 40's who are with me half the time.


I found it so easy to organise some dates meet some lovely girls on the weeks I had no kids. Met some lovely girls, kept a few as genuine friends had serious relationships with a couple.


It is so easy to find like minded people that you would never meet, why leave it to chance in a pub.


Ignore rejection, they don't know you.


Don't try and talk to too many people at one time you will loose the interest of the ones that matter.


Don't arrange to go for a meal, it can get expensive and annoying if their profile is a sham.


Don't arrange a date in a situation you cannot easily get out of IE a day out.


I've dated girls that would not have looked once at me in my 20's and certainly not twice, maybe I'm like a fine wine and got better with age. Maybe women in they're 40's are more appreciative of quality, More Next than New Look focused.

heavenfire

jamiehelsinki wrote: »

My hobbies are male dominated, I think meeting ppl as you get older has always been more difficult though.

And what are these hobbies of yours? I may have to take them up!

jamiehelsinki

heavenfire wrote: »

And what are these hobbies of yours? I may have to take them up!

I play in a midweek 6 a side football mini league, all men!
I go running again we can't all make it each time but our group is male only,
I work in a mechanical job and come across very few women in work , the occasional one you do come across is more butch than any man.

When i was younger I seemed to fall out of one relationship and into the next, it's not happened this time,

I joined pof yesterday anyway, looking at the profiles I'm not sure what to make of it,
A few things I noticed lots of pretty faces with the neck down hidden,
Lots of group photos and you don't know which one they are,
Lots of demands on height,
They don't want FUN!,
A lot put nothing down in the description, !!!!!!?