Nonsense 'stories' spouted by EAs in house descriptions

lincroft1710

Noctu wrote: »

"What is a kitchen without a seating area?"

Good God, the mere question keeps me up at night. :rotfl:

Yes I struggled with this one also, but I may just have the answer! Could it be a place where you just prepare meals, like millions of kitchens in Britain.

pinkteapot

DaftyDuck wrote: »

Chewton Rose (posh bit of Haart around that area) in Norwich use the same ghastly drivel, the "story" of the house, the atmosphere of the place, children, memories, total guff!

Chewton Rose was the one I was alluding to with the comment about a local high-end agent. I didn't realise they were part of the same group as Haart - might explain it.

What gets me is the way they put the story before the room dimensions. So, those who don't want to read it (most people?!) have to scroll and scroll past reams of waffle to find out how big the lounge is.

googler

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

In my area (not UK), you often get so much information that you feel like you've lived in the house before you even see it!

You don't just get floor plans, you often get:

walkthrough videos
etc

... I'm surprised they don't do it in the UK yet but I guess the agent commission doesn't cover it.

You betcha. I think I can guess, but tell us what the average commission might be in your part of the world ....

pinkteapot

Clutterfree wrote: »

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-35730111.html

Genuinely struggle to read text with that many random caps. :eek:

pinkteapot

lincroft1710 wrote: »

Yes I struggled with this one also, but I may just have the answer! Could it be a place where you just prepare meals, like millions of kitchens in Britain.

Yes, indeed. A kitchen without a seating area is, well, a kitchen:

http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/kitchen

lincroft1710

Clutterfree wrote: »

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-35730111.html

There's so much spiel that I ended up skim reading...


I think this was written by the owner rather than an EA.

It is not "close" to the A14, it's at least 30 miles. Peterborough station is 10 miles not 7. Painted with Dulux paint, so what? Clearly couldn't afford Farrow and Ball!

Clutterfree

lincroft1710 wrote: »

It is not "close" to the A14, it's at least 30 miles. Peterborough station is 10 miles not 7. Painted with Dulux paint, so what? Clearly couldn't afford Farrow and Ball!

What does it matter when you've got 700 tulips and daffs to look at?!

glasgowdan

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

Yes, the US. I don't know the rates actually as I've never bought or sold. I think nationally it's 5-6% but I imagine it's a bit more than that round my way (coastal and within commuting distance of NYC).

There aren't many houses listed under a million here so I am imagining that most agents come away with a six figure sum from a sale. I think it's split somehow between the buyer's and seller's agents though.

They probably only have to sell one or two a year to make good money. That's also probably why every other person's mum seems to be an agent.

I'm happy to stick with our British 1% and miss out on such lovely coverage thanks!

PasturesNew

pinkteapot wrote: »

One of the high-end EAs in our area has always posted 'The story' of a house, with tales of its owners garden parties and whimsical family gatherings. Sadly, this practice seems to be spreading in my area, though the other EAs don't seem to have the literacy to pull it off.

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-42558090.html



:rotfl:

Anyone got one to beat this?

Why do these stories always go hand-in-hand with shockingly overpriced houses? This one is at least £50k over-valued.

That'd put me OFF viewing it.

A bit of truth is always good "Not overlooked, so you can step outside in your grundies in a morning to have a rollie and scratch your nuts knowing a neighbour won't be offended"

I've seen studio flats advertised with the "copy/paste" blurb about local schools added to the bottom .... and I've wondered ... "is there an EA just for pa3d0s?"

Cakeguts

Davesnave wrote: »

All that verbal diarrhoea, the latest edition of Office, God knows how many apps on their iPad..... and they still can't spell 'benefiting,' just like the majority of agents!

I got the stools the stomachs and the smells muddled up quite quickly.