Nonsense 'stories' spouted by EAs in house descriptions

pinkteapot

One of the high-end EAs in our area has always posted 'The story' of a house, with tales of its owners garden parties and whimsical family gatherings. Sadly, this practice seems to be spreading in my area, though the other EAs don't seem to have the literacy to pull it off.

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-42558090.html

What is a kitchen without a seating area? With family in mind, watch the excitement in your children's faces grow, whilst watching attentively from their stools over as you prepare those Jamie Oliver style classic dishes of an evening. Encourage your family to make the most of our notorious British summer weather by creating the perfectly private, well position barbeque hotspot on your proud decking area. The delightful scents are sure to reach your children's stomachs as they play below enjoying the large scaled lawn this home offers.

:rotfl:

Anyone got one to beat this?

Why do these stories always go hand-in-hand with shockingly overpriced houses? This one is at least £50k over-valued.

Doozergirl

I feel nauseous.

Davesnave

All that verbal diarrhoea, the latest edition of Office, God knows how many apps on their iPad..... and they still can't spell 'benefiting,' just like the majority of agents!

Penelope_Penguin

IME, anything from EweMove involves flowery language.

Just picked this one at random - told from the point of view of the house :eek:

https://www.ewemove.com/property-show/?mayfield-grove-harrogate-hg1-5hd-6725

It will be sad to see my owners go, they have done so much to make me a lovely home for my next owners. I've been so lucky as they've really treasured me. I guess they've enjoyed living here but who wouldn't. So close to the centre of Harrogate with all it's fantastic restaurants, shopping, theatre and cinema. Of course on a more boring front it helps that I'm only a short walk from the Train and Bus Stations with their great links to Leeds & York. I'm in an ideal position to enjoy the happiest place in Britain to live!

The man from EweMove says that I'm real nice so I suppose I must be. I have a lounge, dining room and four bedrooms as well as a kitchen, and a bathroom with a lovely big tub to soak away the stresses and strains. My owners do enjoy that with a few candles and a nice bottle of wine! They've also enjoyed having friends to dinner and there's plenty of room for everyone around the dining room table. After dinner, the living room is just a lovely place to relax and chat.

I've plenty of room for friends to stay over as I've two large doubles and a couple of singles although my current owners just love the space having one room as a dressing room and one as an office-study. Outside I have a front garden with a lawn and a lovely court yard garden at the back where it's great to sit and enjoy a glass or two in total privacy and chat about how the day has been.

moneyistooshorttomention

Davesnave wrote: »

All that verbal diarrhoea, the latest edition of Office, God knows how many apps on their iPad..... and they still can't spell 'benefiting,' just like the majority of agents!

Ah - but anyone can do an office job - apparently:cool:

david1951

told from the point of view of the house

Wouldn't be out of place on a primary school classroom wall

AdrianC

Penelope_Penguin wrote: »

IME, anything from EweMove involves flowery language.

Just picked this one at random - told from the point of view of the house :eek:

That kind of rubbish would just put me off from instructing that agent in any sale.

marksoton

Worst thing is... They'll be a mug out there that falls for it.

somethingcorporate

There is an agent near us who uses this kind of language. It's a shame, her photos are brilliant but it puts people off - who can be bothered to read a few thousand word essay on a house.

A well taken set of pictures replaces the need for any of that waffle. Stick to the facts please!!

bouicca21

Pedant that I am, I wonder how decking can be proud. But are we paying the price for the national curriculum? Have these EAs all been scarred by the 'persuasive writing' component?

maninthestreet

Children watching from their stools??


:eek::eek::eek: