Nonsense 'stories' spouted by EAs in house descriptions

Pixie5740

bouicca21 wrote: »

Pedant that I am, I wonder how decking can be proud. But are we paying the price for the national curriculum? Have these EAs all been scarred by the 'persuasive writing' component?

Have you never heard the phrase, "as proud as a decking area?"

fairy_lights

Because there's nothing kids get more excited about than watching their parents cook Jamie Oliver recipes.

AdrianC

bouicca21 wrote: »

Pedant that I am, I wonder how decking can be proud.

Proud as opposed to flush; rather than proud as opposed to bashful.

hazyjo

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


OH.MY.GOD. That is the worst I have ever read. How utterly cringe. I have one near me that insists on starting off with a little narrative: "Mr & Mrs S have enjoyed living in their lovely home for X number of years, but now feel the time has come...". Yuck. Go away. I don't care. I don't want to read your spiel.


I particularly valued: "...enabling your family to explore their independence or collaborate unitedly in the living/ dining room, further complimented by the sun room meaning you will become the perfect host to entertain guests during those special occasions."


Have I been transported back to Victorian Britain? Just no. I would HAVE to say something on a viewing - jokingly, but would spell out I find it so cringeworthy - and, like you say, they could at least get the spelling right lol.


Jx

Noctu

"What is a kitchen without a seating area?"

Good God, the mere question keeps me up at night. :rotfl:

hazyjo

PS I actually can't read it all. Having to do it in stages cos it's just SOOOOOOO embarrassing. And it's Essex! I thought it would be Surrey or something. I can just picture him lol. Yes, I'm pretty much an Essex girl so can get away with teasing


I also hate it when they think they're David Bailey. I recently saw some particulars which included a close-up angled photo of a jug of something on a garden table. Also, lots of photos of mirrors with the room reflection in it. Yuck.


Jx

DaftyDuck

Chewton Rose (posh bit of Haart around that area) in Norwich use the same ghastly drivel, the "story" of the house, the atmosphere of the place, children, memories, total guff! The brochure download is, initially, a hideous blurry flash presentation, which you can save as a slow, huge pdf. In it are bloated photographs and illiterate waffle that would make Barbara Cartland puke. The only facts are the postcode (if you are lucky) and the property plan. The rest is utter, illiterate waffle and bilge.

They do sell houses, and sell them fast and expensively!

Do have a browse and read some. I can't, as I have just eaten!

dc197

That description can be applied to any property with a deck, even the worst hovel.

paddy's_mum

What a pity that their speliing, gramma and pinktuation don't match up with the sedscription.

Somebody in that office clearly was given a Thesaurus for Christmas. Pass the sickbags, please.

Davesnave

Penelope_Penguin wrote: »

IME, anything from EweMove involves flowery language.

Do they sell houses to those "sheeple" I'm always reading about?