would you send someone's present 2 months after their birthday?

fierystormcloud

Jagraf wrote: »

When I was married to my ex, everyone bought for everyone. It was a nightmare, vulgar actually. And named cards - eg, cousin, second auntie in law thrice removed etc. Took an eternity to wrap and was very expensive. My husband (now) family are just the opposite - and mine are. No one wants anyone to have to spend money on anyone else. What I struggle with is the expectancy of a gift and to grumble when it's late. It just takes away the joy of giving.

This is one of the most depressing posts I have ever read on here. A nightmare to buy presents? Vulgar? What on earth is vulgar about buying presents for family? And why do they all have to be expensive and difficult to wrap?

And your new husband and his family 'don't want to have on spend money on each other.' Why? :huh: That's what families do!

I also wonder if your experience of 'having' to buy presents - when you were with your ex, is the reason for your hatred of present buying.

I LOVE buying presents for people. I have a fairly big family: four sisters; many nieces and nephews, and as Torry said, presents don't have to be expensive, and you certainly don't have to spend months getting them, or spend half a day's salary on each one (or whatever it was someone said earlier!)

I have never seen so much negativity!

Re the OP: In most cases, I think it's unacceptable to send presents late. There's rarely any valid excuse. Most of the time, it's because people can't be bothered.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Presents don't have to be expensive
They don't have to be a stress to buy
I give presents that are personal
No they don't end up away in a cupboard
There is a lot of sentiment
You can value gifts and other things as well

If you are so stressed and spending so much then you need to rethink things

:T

Person_one wrote: »

I think giving gifts is a really nice way of showing somebody that they matter to you and that you took time out of your daily life and routine to think about them for a bit and put some thought and effort into choosing something that you hoped they'd like. Its not about the 'stuff' (or it shouldn't be) its about the intention and the sentiment behind it.

Exactly! :T I can't believe some of the comments on here! Making buying presents out to be such an ordeal.

Torry_Quine

fierystormcloud wrote: »

This is one of the most depressing posts I have ever read on here. A nightmare to buy presents? Vulgar? What on earth is vulgar about buying presents for family? And why do they all have to be expensive and difficult to wrap?

And your new husband and his family 'don't want to have on spend money on each other.' Why? :huh: That's what families do!

I also wonder if your experience of 'having' to buy presents - when you were with your ex, is the reason for your hatred of present buying.

I LOVE buying presents for people. I have a fairly big family: four sisters; many nieces and nephews, and as Torry said, presents don't have to be expensive, and you certainly don't have to spend months getting them, or spend half a day's salary on each one (or whatever it was someone said earlier!)

I have never seen so much negativity!

Re the OP: In most cases, I think it's unacceptable to send presents late. There's rarely any valid excuse. Most of the time, it's because people can't be bothered.



:T



Exactly! :T I can't believe some of the comments on here! Making buying presents out to be such an ordeal.

I agree, present buying and giving should be a joy not a chore. If you aren't enjoying it there's something wrong.

fierystormcloud

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I agree, present buying and giving should be a joy not a chore. If you aren't enjoying it there's something wrong.

Exactly!

Georgiegirl256

Jagraf wrote: »

. What I struggle with is the expectancy of a gift and to grumble when it's late. It just takes away the joy of giving.

I get where you're coming from. It's a sense of entitlement. No one should ever expect a gift off someone, and they should definitely not grumble if that gift is going to be late, especially when it has been explained why.

We do the same as your family, we have a secret Santa and spend £30 on each person. There were just too many people to buy for, and so we have been doing this for a few years now. It's especially a lot easier for the MIL as she is a pensioner.

I would say a lot of people would be surprised at what happens to their gifts. A lot will just end up cupboards, charity shops or regifted.

TBagpuss

Jagraf wrote: »

So everyone goes out, spends 10 hours looking for 10 presents at £10 each. Why don't you all just spend £100 on yourselves and get together to drink gin?

Our family had secret Santa last year (apart from the kids). We all spent £30 one one present. It was so stress free and would have normally cost over £400. We bought flights to barcelona with the money left and my SIL treated herself to some jewellery.

Because then we wouldn't have the pleasure of giving one another gifts. Because we wouldn't then have the fun of being surprised by something we hadn't suggested but which is just right.
And because not all of us like gin.;)

pigpen

I might like gin.. I've never experienced it..

Georgiegirl256

I got given some sloe gin once for Christmas! I have no idea why they thought I'd like it as I only drink either cider or whiskey so I regifted it.

Dill

pigpen wrote: »

I might like gin.. I've never experienced it..

You've never had gin?

I know it's a bit of an old lady's drink :rotfl: but gin and tonic tastes good.

I much prefer gin to voddy, or whiskey.

pigpen

Dill wrote: »

You've never had gin?

I know it's a bit of an old lady's drink :rotfl: but gin and tonic tastes good.

I much prefer gin to voddy, or whiskey.

nope never.. bacardi, vodka, sailor jerry's, malibu ... never gin..

Person_one

Dill wrote: »

You've never had gin?

I know it's a bit of an old lady's drink

Not anymore, its gone all hipster trendy recently.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2016/mar/15/new-wave-gin-tonic-contemporary-revival-spirit-craft-beer