would you send someone's present 2 months after their birthday?

Dill

Jagraf wrote: »

I'm amazed how many adults still expect birthday presents - it surely isn't important is it? In the whole scheme of things do we really want peopje to spend half a day of their time and two ir three hours of their salary buying us something? Do we really see ourselves as tgat important?

Being in the past in such financial difficulty presents for family were a major stress for me. I just couldn't afford them. No one knows other peoples financial situations - maybe people just can't afford it at that monent in time.

It reminds me of kids in a sweet shop asking for stuff. Some adults just need to grow up.

Slightly off-topic but I certainly don't do 'birthday lists', whether adults or children, though a lot of people do.

I think with regard to expecting presents, it's a two way thing. If people decide to not bother with presents that's fine, as long as everyone agrees and sticks to that.

Person_one

Jagraf wrote: »

I'm amazed how many adults still expect birthday presents - it surely isn't important is it? In the whole scheme of things do we really want peopje to spend half a day of their time and two ir three hours of their salary buying us something? Do we really see ourselves as tgat important?

Being in the past in such financial difficulty presents for family were a major stress for me. I just couldn't afford them. No one knows other peoples financial situations - maybe people just can't afford it at that monent in time.

It reminds me of kids in a sweet shop asking for stuff. Some adults just need to grow up.

I think giving gifts is a really nice way of showing somebody that they matter to you and that you took time out of your daily life and routine to think about them for a bit and put some thought and effort into choosing something that you hoped they'd like. Its not about the 'stuff' (or it shouldn't be) its about the intention and the sentiment behind it.

When I was struggling financially I used to do online surveys and reviews in exchange for Amazon vouchers and I used those to buy presents.

Georgiegirl256

Peter333 wrote: »

You have completely taken my sentence out of context. I meant I don't understand why people should be more grateful to receive presents as an adult, compared to when they were children.
.

The thing is, for children, birthdays are fun and exciting and you usually get bought presents until you're about 18 (sometimes 21) and then it usually stops with more distant relatives.

I think that anyone receiving a gift should be grateful of it because people have taken time out and put thought into it (usually!) and also spent their money on you, and so I think it's pretty petty to take a strop because your gift is late.

I agree with you if they are just around the corner, as basically that's saying I cba walking/driving round to drop it off, but in this situation were things have to be posted, then I think it's understandable and acceptable.

TBagpuss

Jagraf wrote: »

I'm amazed how many adults still expect birthday presents - it surely isn't important is it? In the whole scheme of things do we really want peopje to spend half a day of their time and two ir three hours of their salary buying us something? Do we really see ourselves as tgat important?

Being in the past in such financial difficulty presents for family were a major stress for me. I just couldn't afford them. No one knows other peoples financial situations - maybe people just can't afford it at that monent in time.

It reminds me of kids in a sweet shop asking for stuff. Some adults just need to grow up.

I would never expect sone to spend half a day or several hours worth of salary.

I think giving ad recieving gifts is a way of showing sowemone that you care about them - it's abotu the thoughfulness of remembering them and finding something they will enjoy. It doesn't need to be big or expensive.

Obviously if you find yourself in a family or group of friends where there is an expectatio that gifts be very expensive then it's a difernet matter, but I thinkthat's an issue with the paticualr family or group of friends.

Similarly lists - it depends how they work. In my family, we do tend to have conversations coming up to christmas but it's always "here are some suggestions if you would like ideas" if someone has asked what you would like, not "here is a list of my demands". Partly because we all have fiarly specialised interests and hobbies - I know that my brother-in-law likes stuff for his boat, but I wouldn't know where to start in terms of what specifc thing to buy, without some guidance (apart from gin, which I am told is a very important compnent of sailing and which I can buy without further guidance!). So it's useful to have a list which tells me he would like a specifc almanac or chart or particular style of gimbal, and if those things are all more than I was thinking of spending then I can chose to let him have some money and explain that it represent pages 1-100 of the almanac, or the bottom left hand corner of the chart, or whatever.

sleepymans

I think its time to stop buying presents for adults for birthday or christmas at all.
Buy someone you love a gift when you see something yu know they would like.

My cupboards and drawers got full of stuff I neither wanted nor needed...some go to the charity shop but some I have had to keep just in case the recipient got upset that I hadn't kept and or treasured it. Maybe its just my lot, but they buy stuff they like and not what I like, its such a waste of money. Id rather they kept it and I am more than happy to buy myself anything I want or need....in fact the act of researching/finding something is far better than receiving something naff and having to pretend I like it.

There! OK Im horrible, but honest!

Jagraf

sleepymans wrote: »

I think its time to stop buying presents for adults for birthday or christmas at all.
Buy someone you love a gift when you see something yu know they would like.

My cupboards and drawers got full of stuff I neither wanted nor needed...some go to the charity shop but some I have had to keep just in case the recipient got upset that I hadn't kept and or treasured it. Maybe its just my lot, but they buy stuff they like and not what I like, its such a waste of money. Id rather they kept it and I am more than happy to buy myself anything I want or need....in fact the act of researching/finding something is far better than receiving something naff and having to pretend I like it.

There! OK Im horrible, but honest!

Very eloquently put and my sentiments exactly.

You're not horrible but you are honest.

Presents are expensive
Presents are a stress to buy financially and time wise
Most presents aren't personal and are bought vaguely
Most presents end up in the cupboard
There is probably, on the whole, very little sentiment.
Adults shouldn't feel the need for a gift. Surely adults value other things more ?

Person_one

Jagraf wrote: »

Presents are expensive
Presents are a stress to buy financially and time wise
Most presents aren't personal and are bought vaguely
Most presents end up in the cupboard
There is probably, on the whole, very little sentiment.

Sorry but if this is how you feel about gift giving, well, you're doing it wrong.

Jagraf

TBagpuss wrote: »

I would never expect sone to spend half a day or several hours worth of salary.

I think giving ad recieving gifts is a way of showing sowemone that you care about them - it's abotu the thoughfulness of remembering them and finding something they will enjoy. It doesn't need to be big or expensive.

Obviously if you find yourself in a family or group of friends where there is an expectatio that gifts be very expensive then it's a difernet matter, but I thinkthat's an issue with the paticualr family or group of friends.

Similarly lists - it depends how they work. In my family, we do tend to have conversations coming up to christmas but it's always "here are some suggestions if you would like ideas" if someone has asked what you would like, not "here is a list of my demands". Partly because we all have fiarly specialised interests and hobbies - I know that my brother-in-law likes stuff for his boat, but I wouldn't know where to start in terms of what specifc thing to buy, without some guidance (apart from gin, which I am told is a very important compnent of sailing and which I can buy without further guidance!). So it's useful to have a list which tells me he would like a specifc almanac or chart or particular style of gimbal, and if those things are all more than I was thinking of spending then I can chose to let him have some money and explain that it represent pages 1-100 of the almanac, or the bottom left hand corner of the chart, or whatever.

So everyone goes out, spends 10 hours looking for 10 presents at £10 each. Why don't you all just spend £100 on yourselves and get together to drink gin?

Our family had secret Santa last year (apart from the kids). We all spent £30 one one present. It was so stress free and would have normally cost over £400. We bought flights to barcelona with the money left and my SIL treated herself to some jewellery.

Jagraf

Person_one wrote: »

Sorry but if this is how you feel about gift giving, well, you're doing it wrong.

I don't think so.

DSmiffy

Personally I'd love to get a gift later on, my birthday is two weeks after xmas, so b*gger all on the present front for the whole rest of the year !! I'm thinking of having an "unofficial" birthday in the middle of the year, like the Queen !