would you send someone's present 2 months after their birthday?

catkins

sleepymans wrote: »

I think its time to stop buying presents for adults for birthday or christmas at all.
Buy someone you love a gift when you see something yu know they would like.

My cupboards and drawers got full of stuff I neither wanted nor needed...some go to the charity shop but some I have had to keep just in case the recipient got upset that I hadn't kept and or treasured it. Maybe its just my lot, but they buy stuff they like and not what I like, its such a waste of money. Id rather they kept it and I am more than happy to buy myself anything I want or need....in fact the act of researching/finding something is far better than receiving something naff and having to pretend I like it.

There! OK Im horrible, but honest!

I don't agree at all. My family are never going to stop buying birthday and Christmas presents and why should they?

We all spend time thinking about what gifts to buy - something someone wants, needs or just would really like. None of us buy something for someone else just because we like or want it.

If I see something one of my family likes in January I will buy it even if their birthday in not until October. I buy Christmas presents all year round if I see something I know one of my family will like.

Jagraf wrote: »

Very eloquently put and my sentiments exactly.

You're not horrible but you are honest.

Presents are expensive
Presents are a stress to buy financially and time wise
Most presents aren't personal and are bought vaguely
Most presents end up in the cupboard
There is probably, on the whole, very little sentiment.
Adults shouldn't feel the need for a gift. Surely adults value other things more ?

Not all presents are expensive
I don't find buying presents a stress timewise and I buy what I can afford financially
I don't buy presents vaguely and do buy personal presents
My received presents certainly do NOT end up in the cupboard and I am pretty sure my bought presents don't either
I like getting presents
My OH likes getting presents
My mum and dad like getting presents
My siblings like getting presents
My nieces and nephews (all grown up) like getting presents

Torry_Quine

Jagraf wrote: »

Very eloquently put and my sentiments exactly.

You're not horrible but you are honest.

Presents are expensive
Presents are a stress to buy financially and time wise
Most presents aren't personal and are bought vaguely
Most presents end up in the cupboard
There is probably, on the whole, very little sentiment.
Adults shouldn't feel the need for a gift. Surely adults value other things more ?

Presents don't have to be expensive
They don't have to be a stress to buy
I give presents that are personal
No they don't end up away in a cupboard
There is a lot of sentiment
You can value gifts and other things as well



If you are so stressed and spending so much then you need to rethink things

Dill

I don't give expensive presents (I can't!) but I do like to think of what that person will like.

They're only a stress to buy if you leave it till the last minute, imo.

Maybe I'm just lucky but I've never felt the need to sling a present I've received in the cupboard!! Very occasionally I will sell things on, if I really can't make use of them.

Jagraf

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Presents don't have to be expensive
They don't have to be a stress to buy
I give presents that are personal
No they don't end up away in a cupboard
There is a lot of sentiment
You can value gifts and other things as well



If you are so stressed and spending so much then you need to rethink things

We have as a family. As adults at christmas we buy one present each, ie secret Santa, for the whole family. We rarely buy each other birthday presents (just the children). My close girlfriends and I don't buy presents - we knocked that on the head as at some point we have all been broke. We meet up though for birthdays. I'm not stressed about it. I was when I was spending hours even days looking for Christmas presents and had this 'product blindness' and looked at all the money market forces wanted us all to spend. The crunch came when I left my car boot unlocked getting some chips on the way home from Christmas shopping and everything was stolen.

I buy gifts to say thank you and other adhoc circumstances.

Torry_Quine

Jagraf wrote: »

We have as a family. As adults at christmas we buy one present each, ie secret Santa, for the whole family. We rarely buy each other birthday presents (just the children). My close girlfriends and I don't buy presents - we knocked that on the head as at some point we have all been broke. We meet up though for birthdays. I'm not stressed about it. I was when I was spending hours even days looking for Christmas presents and had this 'product blindness' and looked at all the money market forces wanted us all to spend. The crunch came when I left my car boot unlocked getting some chips on the way home from Christmas shopping and everything was stolen.

I buy gifts to say thank you and other adhoc circumstances.

You obviously have a larger family than me that you felt the need to buy presents for. There are no children in my family and I've never bought friends Christmas presents.
The most I've ever had to buy for is 8 people but they didn't all get at Christmas. Have never got the idea that you buy for large numbers unless you have several sources siblings for instance.

Jagraf

Torry_Quine wrote: »

You obviously have a larger family than me that you felt the need to buy presents for. There are no children in my family and I've never bought friends Christmas presents.
The most I've ever had to buy for is 8 people but they didn't all get at Christmas. Have never got the idea that you buy for large numbers unless you have several sources siblings for instance.

When I was married to my ex, everyone bought for everyone. It was a nightmare, vulgar actually. And named cards - eg, cousin, second auntie in law thrice removed etc. Took an eternity to wrap and was very expensive. My husband (now) family are just the opposite - and mine are. No one wants anyone to have to spend money on anyone else. What I struggle with is the expectancy of a gift and to grumble when it's late. It just takes away the joy of giving.

Person_one

Jagraf wrote: »

When I was married to my ex, everyone bought for everyone. It was a nightmare, vulgar actually.

Vulgar? Or just not your preference?

Jagraf

Person_one wrote: »

Vulgar? Or just not your preference?

Wastefil then. Pure consumerism.

pigpen

I love buying presents for others.. last christmas my daughter and i tried to make as many as we could and if we couldnt we would purchase a hand crafted item from elsewhere, a lot of mine were skill swaps.. for example someone did me 2 papercut pictures and I hand dyed them some yarn.. there were some very original presents in there!!

Person_one

Jagraf wrote: »

Wastefil then. Pure consumerism.

Gift giving has been around a lot longer than 'consumerism'. Is it not equally consumerist for you and your family to compare notes on what stuff you buy for yourselves with the money you save by not buying gifts?