Having a B list at a wedding

Andrew_Ryan_89

Probably the last thread from until the big day. Got the most things sorted and now just waiting to hear back from the jeweler regarding the rings!

Went I sent out the initial Save the Date, I sent it out to a few people that I now regret. Not like I don't like them or anything, but not people I really speak to though I previously had a decent relationship with them. I have decided not to follow up with an invitation for some of them but there are a couple who I just happened to bump into recently and they have told me they'll see me at the wedding.

Recently a few things have come up and it looks like we may need to take out a loan to cover all the cost. Nothing massive and we should be able to pay it all back within a couple of months. But essentially it means we are trying to keep the numbers as low as possible for the sit down dinner.

I am thinking of inviting a few people to enjoy canapes and drinks later on in the evening but wanted to know whether I was better of not inviting them what so ever or if I was going to invite them to drinks after, how do I word it to them?

EDIT So, ignore the above guys, it has little if anything to do with money. There are specifically 3 people who I sent a save the date to but haven't of yet followed up with an invite. Main reason is, on reflection I am not that close too them and there are other people who I am closer to who I have not invited. I am stupid for sending it to them in the first place, but I was going through my phone and just selecting people that way instead of giving it proper thought at the time. Now, I think just inviting them to the drinks will be more appropriate but not sure how to word it or just live with the mistake and invite them to the wedding.

Peter333

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Probably the last thread from until the big day. Got the most things sorted and now just waiting to hear back from the jeweler regarding the rings!

Went I sent out the initial Save the Date, I sent it out to a few people that I now regret. Not like I don't like them or anything, but not people I really speak to though I previously had a decent relationship with them. I have decided not to follow up with an invitation for some of them but there are a couple who I just happened to bump into recently and they have told me they'll see me at the wedding.

Recently a few things have come up and it looks like we may need to take out a loan to cover all the cost. Nothing massive and we should be able to pay it all back within a couple of months. But essentially it means we are trying to keep the numbers as low as possible for the sit down dinner.

I am thinking of inviting a few people to enjoy canapes and drinks later on in the evening but wanted to know whether I was better of not inviting them what so ever or if I was going to invite them to drinks after, how do I word it to them?

Are you serious?

If you could pay off this loan for your wedding in a couple of months, then why not SAVE for 'a couple of months' and have a few drinks and canapes with these people later on, instead of borrowing the money, and getting into debt?!

Whatever you do, and whatever kind of wedding you have, only have what you can afford, and FGS don't go into debt for it!

Timpu

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Recently a few things have come up and it looks like we may need to take out a loan to cover all the cost.

If inviting them means a loan, I'd say 'sorry, budget is tight but look forward to going out to drinks when things are better.' True friends will understand.

PS. There's no way I'd go into debt for a knees up (yes, you get married once but it's just one day in your life). I'd be cutting back or returning something to avoid the loan.

Mojisola

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Went I sent out the initial Save the Date, I sent it out to a few people that I now regret. Not like I don't like them or anything, but not people I really speak to though I previously had a decent relationship with them. I have decided not to follow up with an invitation for some of them but there are a couple who I just happened to bump into recently and they have told me they'll see me at the wedding.

Seriously, you aren't going to send invites to some people who were sent 'save the date' cards?

Kynthia

It's incredibly rude not to invite people you sent save the date cards to. You don't have to send save the dates to everyone you intend to invite, just those you'd be really upset if they couldn't make it, so that you don't end up in the situation of needing to invite people you've now decided not to. However do you want to offend these people and possibly have their friends/relatives making it the topic of conversation on your big day about how you didn't invite them when you had them save the date?

Pearl_Necklace

Not being funny but that is a bit rude, sending save the date cards then changing your mind about inviting them. How are you going to explain to people that they've been uninvited?

sweetilemon

Could you maybe invite them as evening only? Generally this wouldn't incur any more costs as the buffet will be estimated anyway unless it's a lot of people.

[Deleted User]

The idea is you only send your A list the save the date cards

We had a 'B' list and it was for people that got invited to the evening

fairy_lights

The people you sent 'Save the Date' cards to probably have indeed 'Saved the Date'.
They might have booked time off work, sorted out childcare, transport and accommodation...and now you're going to try to freeze them out? :eek:
Why did you add them to your list in the first place if you think so little of them?

[Deleted User]

Your only way out of this is to phone the people who aren't "A list" and explain, and probably offer them to come in the evening.

You don't "word it". You man up and talk to them.

tea_lover

Why would you ask people to save the date if you couldn't afford to invite them? Surely you looked at costs before you decided on a guest list and asked people to save the date?

Why anyone would get into debt over a wedding is completely beyond me.