Need to rant! OAP in a vulnerable situation

pollypenny

My mother in law was a self-centred cow, but I wouldn't see her living how the OP described her neighbour.

I wouldn't want to be in her company very often, but I'd make damn sure that she had a functioning boiler and help if needed.

Soundgirlrocks

Hi All,

Well quick update, the son has replied to the email in the friendly way. He is happy for me to help his mother claim pension credit and by his calculations he thinks she would be entitled to it, which in turns means we might be able to get her a new boiler sorted out at a reduced rate.

What he's says about her not wanting the help he has offer doesn't match what she is saying, I suspect family politics are involved. I'm still shocked anyone could be so blind to her living conditions but it doesn't really matter the main thing is he seems to be on board in wanting to sort the situation.

My boss has offered to look at the electrics (yes we are aware of all the relevant regs about what you can and can't do these days)

Baby steps but I think between us and social service we should be able to get things back on track for her and improve the situation.

harrys_nan

Thank you for stepping in and helping,
Nobody knows what goes on between families, but I think that given the circumstances that she is living in you have done a very good deed.

Mojisola

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

What he's says about her not wanting the help he has offer doesn't match what she is saying

This isn't surprising. I've dealt with older people who wouldn't let their adult children make changes or improvements to the house but were quite enthusiastic when the same changes were suggested by a carer/nurse/social worker.

Can be quite exasperating for the family.

BrassicWoman

Mojisola wrote: »

This isn't surprising. I've dealt with older people who wouldn't let their adult children make changes or improvements to the house but were quite enthusiastic when the same changes were suggested by a carer/nurse/social worker.

Can be quite exasperating for the family.

This is my life, yes. You don't know what's going on unless you are inside the family.

Mojisola

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

she has given him money she inherited from her brother to pay of his mortgage.

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

the son has replied to the email in the friendly way. He is happy for me to help his mother claim pension credit and by his calculations he thinks she would be entitled to it

Unless her gift to him is counted as deprivation of assets.

meritaten

Thanks for the update soundgirlrocks. I am pleased that son is happy for her to get help.
I can relate to his story - my mum ALWAYS turned down any offer of help from me - preferring to turn to my sister instead.
Still, as long as the lady gets help that is the main thing.
Well done you for instigating that help!

Pollycat

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

Hi All,

Well quick update, the son has replied to the email in the friendly way. He is happy for me to help his mother claim pension credit and by his calculations he thinks she would be entitled to it, which in turns means we might be able to get her a new boiler sorted out at a reduced rate.

What he's says about her not wanting the help he has offer doesn't match what she is saying, I suspect family politics are involved. I'm still shocked anyone could be so blind to her living conditions but it doesn't really matter the main thing is he seems to be on board in wanting to sort the situation.

Well. that's good news.
But one wonders why he didn't sort out her benefits.

BJV

Pollycat wrote: »

Well. that's good news.
But one wonders why he didn't sort out her benefits.

Glad it was not just me thinking that?

I just think it is sad that in 2016 we can leave anyone in conditions like this. I know I live in my own little bubble where in an ideal world no one would ever get sick or need help. But this ladies story is my absolute nightmare. To be alone. Frightened to out the heat on, but frightened to ask for help.

Again I stress good on you OP for having the bottle to do something. Good on you, for not just like many would not wanting to get involved, but instead getting stuck in.

Soundgirlrocks

Mojisola wrote: »

Unless her gift to him is counted as deprivation of assets.

It was 12 years ago so I don't think it would count as deprivation of assets as I understand it.