Need to rant! OAP in a vulnerable situation

missbiggles1

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

Refer to SS, you have no idea what the issues are and it may well be that the son has had to cut his mother out of his life. Xxx

Presumably after she paid off his mortgage.;)

DUKE

I think you did the right thing Soundgirlrocks, hopefully the lady will get the help that she needs from SS.

AnnieO1234

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Presumably after she paid off his mortgage.;)

There are a million things here that might've happened. Maybe she's lying. Maybe son took out a mortgage for her before he married and paid it. Maybe it was guilt money for some bad, bad thing mom had done.

If you have immediate welfare concerns, SS should follow up no matter where the referral. If they won't, consider speaking to her GP. He won't be able to tell you anything but he should be able to listen and act as he seems appropriate.

Xx

Mojisola

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

She has no hot water or heating as the boiler doesn't work.

The electrics have blown in the living room and she has no lights.

She is struggling with the cleaning.

Her washing machine doesn't work.

She strip washes in the sink because she is scared of getting into the bath and what's the point as she has no hot water.

Last week she came to me because her phone wasn't working

she hadn't spoken to her best friend in 3 weeks.

Social Services are fobbing you off. These things count as neglect -
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/pages/vulnerable-people-abuse-safeguarding.aspx
"Neglect is also a form of abuse. Neglect includes not being provided with enough food or the right kind of food, or not being taken proper care of. Leaving you without help to wash or change dirty or wet clothes, not getting you to a doctor when you need one, or not making sure you have the right medicines all count as neglect."

Scroll down to the bottom of the page to the "Who to contact" section.

missbiggles1

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

There are a million things here that might've happened. Maybe she's lying. Maybe son took out a mortgage for her before he married and paid it. Maybe it was guilt money for some bad, bad thing mom had done.

If you have immediate welfare concerns, SS should follow up no matter where the referral. If they won't, consider speaking to her GP. He won't be able to tell you anything but he should be able to listen and act as he seems appropriate.

Xx

Or maybe he's a selfish little whotsit who's happy to take large sums of money from his mother and then takes no responsibility for her well being, which is far more likely.

Sacredcat

Can you find out from her who her GP is, and then let the GP know she needs help and what the probe are. They are often quite helpful and have clout with SS .

Soundgirlrocks

Sacredcat wrote: »

Can you find out from her who her GP is, and then let the GP know she needs help and what the probe are. They are often quite helpful and have clout with SS .

From what she has said she hasn't seen her GP in years, but I'll ask when I speak to her tomorrow.

pollypenny

Contact your local Age Uk. They were very helpful with my aunt, who lives 300 miles away so not handy for regular help from me.

They will help accessing any benefits, like Attendance Allowance and a new boiler. They usually have a handyman scheme, too.

BJV

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

No I don't know all the details which is why I have sent a polite email to the son. But I have been in her flat, I have help her do the things she has asked the son to do, I have seen the daughter in law refusing to go into the flat, and I have comforted a distressed elderly lady who can't cope. I don't believe in the "its none of my business" brigade she is my neighbour, I was brought up to look out for the vulnerable people within your community. I will if the son doesn't get back to me / start to help his mother contact social services.

I think she is a lucky lady to live next door to some who cares. I understand your frustration and hope never to find out what it is like for your family, flesh and blood to leave you in such a state.

GOOD ON YOU & wish more of us could be like that!

meritaten

no she doesn't have to self refer. she is a vulnerable adult and anyone can refer her to SS. contact Age Concern who may help her get the help she needs.

and good on you for caring! I am shocked at how some people would turn a blind eye to this form of abuse. and try to justify it by some fairy tale about the old person being an abuser! they don't KNOW this - and does it justify the way this old lady is living and being treated? Shame on them!