"My wedding present to my wife was a lovely new kitchen"

3wisemonks

I'd be fairly unimpressed if DH 'gifted' me a kitchen for any reason and that's saying something because our kitchen is dire. I enjoy cooking most days but the room is for the family not just me. Kitchens are where a big chunk of the chores take place for this reason I wouldn't be impressed with the present of a kitchen.

From the examples I would explain why I think they're different. Sharing is not the issue, a holiday or theatre tickets are solely for pleasure. I can tell you I get no pleasure from loading the washing machine or doing the dishes.

A car cleaning kit - maybe this person read you wrong but for someone who loves their little car cleaning and polishing it are not a chore but enjoyable and so for the right person could be a good present.

The garden shed - if the partner is into gardening or diy for fun again not a chore then a great gift. Regardless of the benefit to anyone else. It is also that persons getaway.

Wallpaper for games room - this is a room primarily for your pleasure so again no work for you regardless whether or not you're gaming with your wife.

However, not all of the chores that take place in the kitchen are enjoyable you might like baking but most don't actually enjoy the cleaning up part so a mixer is fine but not a sink :rotfl: The way I see it is we'd be treating ourselves as a couple to a kitchen even if one of us had stronger preferences.

I don't want lots of money spent, gone many a celebration with nothing in the way of a physical gift due to circumstances so I don't think he should buy something else I just find it odd that a room that everyone will use and involves a big portion of chores is considered a gift but that's why we're all different:T

3WM

zagfles

3wisemonks wrote: »

I'd be fairly unimpressed if DH 'gifted' me a kitchen for any reason and that's saying something because our kitchen is dire. I enjoy cooking most days but the room is for the family not just me. Kitchens are where a big chunk of the chores take place for this reason I wouldn't be impressed with the present of a kitchen.

From the examples I would explain why I think they're different. Sharing is not the issue, a holiday or theatre tickets are solely for pleasure. I can tell you I get no pleasure from loading the washing machine or doing the dishes.

A car cleaning kit - maybe this person read you wrong but for someone who loves their little car cleaning and polishing it are not a chore but enjoyable and so for the right person could be a good present.

I've mentioned this before here and people have said the same. Yet no-one seemed very enamoured with the idea of house cleaning products as a gift. Wonder why not? Some people love their "little house" as well you know. So surely polishing the floor would give them great pleasure :rotfl:

The garden shed - if the partner is into gardening or diy for fun again not a chore then a great gift. Regardless of the benefit to anyone else. It is also that persons getaway.

Wallpaper for games room - this is a room primarily for your pleasure so again no work for you regardless whether or not you're gaming with your wife.

However, not all of the chores that take place in the kitchen are enjoyable you might like baking but most don't actually enjoy the cleaning up part so a mixer is fine but not a sink :rotfl: The way I see it is we'd be treating ourselves as a couple to a kitchen even if one of us had stronger preferences.

I don't want lots of money spent, gone many a celebration with nothing in the way of a physical gift due to circumstances so I don't think he should buy something else I just find it odd that a room that everyone will use and involves a big portion of chores is considered a gift but that's why we're all different:T

3WM

What's a "chore" to one person is a "hobby" to another. Personally I hate gardening and DIY so to me a new lawnmower or power-tool or a set of spanners, typical "bloke" gifts, would just be tools to do a chore. No better than a new saucepan set.

But other people might love a new power-tool or saucepan set. Or even a whole kitchen! Plus of course the thing with a kitchen or similar "home improvement" gifts is it's not the type of gift you hide in the back of the wardrobe till the day and present it as a complete surprise, it'll usually be something you discuss and plan together. So you'll know beforehand whether it's a good gift or not. And of course the ONLY thing that matters is what your partner thinks about the gift - not what a load of strangers on an internet forum think

Jagraf

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

Happy Birthday Wifey!

For your present I've had the gutters cleaned and paid for it out of my own account rather than the joint one.

Many happy returns! Love n snuggles from Hubbiekins x

We need all our gutters cleaning and to be honest that would be fine by me. If I see that as ok, what's the problem? It cound even be out of our joint account.

Our relationship goes far far deeper than what I get for my birthday - my husband would give me anything at all so why does he need to prove it with cliches.

When we were in so much debt he got me some logs from the wood and made a real fire. Because of his sense I can now have all the perfume, flowers, books and holidays I like, any time of year. Actually if he bought me my favourite perfume for my birthday it would be thoughtless of him - takes a lot less organising than gutter cleaning.

SingleSue

I think it also comes down to whether we see presents as extras or are more practical and want things that help us.

I am a great example of that, I can't see the need for umpteem pairs of shoes or handbags, or another bottle of perfume to add to the collection. I can't wear more than one pair of shoes at a time or carry more than one handbag, so why have more than one. I would much rather someone got me something I needed, for example on my last birthday list I had actually listed new pots and pans as mine had finally bit the dust. Another year I listed a toaster, new baking trays, covers for my V pillow etc. For me, not having to pay out for those items or stressing about replacing them was the greatest present of all...it made my life easier.

My only concession to the practical rule is books, I never have enough and having more than 1 in reserve is my idea of heaven (oh and flowers, I love receiving flowers)

Person_one

SingleSue wrote: »

for example on my last birthday list

Do you really have an actual birthday list? :eek:

System

Everyone has lists these days Amazon wish list, EBay watch list, etc

Izadora

zagfles wrote: »

But other people might love a new power-tool or saucepan set.

I got a new set of saucepans for Christmas and it was one of my best presents

onomatopoeia99

zagfles wrote: »

But other people might love a new power-tool or saucepan set.

My parents bought be a set of saucepans a couple of Christmases ago, at my request. I'm male, and I like cooking (good job, or I'd starve!) I was just about to replace the gas cooker with an induction hob so needed to replace all my saucepans

I tend to buy my own power tools as I usually buy good quality ones if I intend to use them for more than one job.

SingleSue

Person_one wrote: »

Do you really have an actual birthday list? :eek:

Sort of, I get asked what I want and I tell them...or the boys ask me to send them a list via text of what I want and they chose from there.

Easier that way and more likely to get people the things they want rather than tat that gets put to the back of the cupboard, although the list doesn't stop people going free style and picking something they think I would like but haven't listed and generally they get it right. It isn't an absolute requirement for them to stick to the list, it just gives an idea and makes it easier for the gift buyer.

Unfortunately before we agreed on lists (verbal or actual proper written ones), I managed to build up quite a stock of alcohol that was given to me for Christmas and birthday. I do drink but not very often and never at home and it would always turn out to be a complete waste of money.

3wisemonks

zagfles wrote: »

I've mentioned this before here and people have said the same. Yet no-one seemed very enamoured with the idea of house cleaning products as a gift. Wonder why not? Some people love their "little house" as well you know. So surely polishing the floor would give them great pleasure :rotfl:What's a "chore" to one person is a "hobby" to another. Personally I hate gardening and DIY so to me a new lawnmower or power-tool or a set of spanners, typical "bloke" gifts, would just be tools to do a chore. No better than a new saucepan set.

But other people might love a new power-tool or saucepan set. Or even a whole kitchen! Plus of course the thing with a kitchen or similar "home improvement" gifts is it's not the type of gift you hide in the back of the wardrobe till the day and present it as a complete surprise, it'll usually be something you discuss and plan together. So you'll know beforehand whether it's a good gift or not. And of course the ONLY thing that matters is what your partner thinks about the gift - not what a load of strangers on an internet forum think

Totally agree with most of what you said gardening and diy are chores to me
But to my mind a home improvement is for everyone so if DH how about we get a new kitchen for our anniversary I'd think great! Because it's for us as a family.

The bit in bold this is what I mean by we're all different and they are clearly perfect for one another :j

DH did once suggest I could have a washing machine for my b day, luckily for him he was joking but we did need a machine so WE got one and my gift from him was a lovely meal he cooked and a dvd :rotfl: