Money Moral Dilemma: Should we pay our sister's share of our parents' gift?

jobbingmusician

OK, here is my assumption.

That the sister on benefits is genuinely worse off, and genuinely finds it difficult to find the money.

And here are what I see as the possible ways forward.

The others acknowledge that the bar was set too high, or believe that the bar was set too high. In this scenario the two options are to give the parents less, or for the others to give more.

The others believe that the sister on benefits has been !!!!less, or believe that the sister could come up with more money given more time. In this scenario there is an option which no-one has suggested yet, which is that the sisters could make a loan to the !!!!less one. She has been able to save £100 - she could repay another £150 given time in which to do so, and might be willing to, as this is a very special one off present.

Ha ha! The censored word was f.e.c.kless. And, thinking about it further, my assumption is null and void - this analysis covers the situation whether the sister is really broke, or not.

geoffhead

Take the £100.00 towards the cost and shop around the web for the same holiday but cheaper??

tea_lover

There's no way my parents would accept £1000 from their children. Is that usual as a gift?

moneyistooshorttomention

So why would anyone expect someone on benefits to even find £100 (never mind £250) for an expensive present?

They clearly cant afford to - and it was wrong to expect them to do so.

burlington6

happyinflorida wrote: »

It seems quite unfair that one person, who it's known is on benefits, is expected to pay so much money towards a gift.

How was the decision taken to split the cost 4 equal ways?

Hopefully you will realise from this experience that this one person was obviously put under pressure to agree and you all should not have allowed this to happen.

As family you are meant to look after one another!

You've put this person under a lot of unnecessary stress on top of the hardship they are already going through.

Are the other 3 financially capable of paying the extra £150 needed or not?

If not, are you all able and willing to discuss your incomes and outgoings and determine if it's possible to reach the amount required to pay for the holiday?

Communication is the key - I hope you are able to sort this all out and please do not hold this against the person who hasn't been able to pay the full amount.

Good luck!

Life isn't fair. It won't be fair on the ones with money if their parents need looking after in the future.

happy_lady

Its an extra £50 each for the other 3 sisters and it's for your parents and it's a one off occasion.

Not everyone has the same income and this should be taken into consideration.

Of if you feel this is unfair then perhaps the 3 sisters with slightly more money could pay for the holiday and the 4th sister could pay for a welcome gift at the hotel when they arrive.

watki07

Don't make your parents suffer. Make up the difference but DO NOT allow yourself to be taken advantage of again. Once you can live with - twice, who is the mug around here?

meknowalot-51

Should the three of you make up the shortfall?I would say you should as two years ago you all new her situation and knowing she had been on benefits for years why are you suprised?Help your sister out and pay her share,send your parents off on holiday.Then you can say,what a nice caring family you are,..........or don't help out,you all end up arguing and mum and dad stay at home.All this for fifty quid.You never know what's around the corner and five or ten years from now you could be asking her for help.

pickledonionspaceraider

MSE_Nick wrote: »

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Two years before our parents' 40th wedding anniversary my three sisters and I agreed to each contribute £250 towards a holiday for them. However, a few weeks before, one said that because she was on benefits (she had been for years) she could only save up £100. Should the rest of us make up the shortfall?

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!

[purplesignup][/purplesignup]

Yes pay it £50 each with the other sister. whats the alternative - ruin your parents surprise and cause resentment between sisters.

Toomuchdebt

watki07 wrote: »

Don't make your parents suffer. Make up the difference but DO NOT allow yourself to be taken advantage of again. Once you can live with - twice, who is the mug around here?

I was genuinely surprised by this answer. Suffer???The parent are not going to suffer if they get a slightly cheaper holiday! Let's be realistic here-the money isn't for food, or for rent or anything like that. It's for a gift!! Why would anyone "suffer" if they only get 850 towards a holiday instead of 1000 when they're presumably not expecting anything like that in the first place? How ridiculous.