Money Moral Dilemma: Should we pay our sister's share of our parents' gift?

hazyjo

Jagraf wrote: »

No - I would say everyone should now only fund £100 and find a cheaper holiday xx

Agree with this. Unless they're expecting a week in the sun or something, I'd go for a city break elsewhere, or even in the UK. Can easily get a lovely deal for a couple of nights prob with dinner on at least one night on Groupon, Living Social, Wowcher and the like. Or a City break - plenty of deals out there with flights and accommodation.


Jx

orsat

Tell your parents the truth; they will understand that you can only provide £850 to their holiday
[3X£250 + £100]. Any subterfuge will come out eventually

BNT

I have no idea how much money each of the sisters has, and certainly agree that being on benefits is not the same as no money. However, a £100 contribution from someone who has very little is a bigger contribution than £250 from someone who has a large amount of disposable income. Given that this is your parents' 40th anniversary, you've probably known your sisters long enough to be able to talk this through.

If £100 is all she can contribute, then £100 is all you're going to get from her. Someone needs to pay the remaining £150 or you need to cancel and rebook.

Assuming the holiday is booked and committed I would pay the balance, or ask your other sisters to share the additional.

Even if the holiday is not committed, I would be tempted to go ahead with it rather than go to the hassle of finding something else at a lower price at short notice. You chose the holiday because you thought it would be something your parents would like (I assume) and I imagine there has been some planing and thought around it. I say go ahead and give your parents the present you want them to have and sort out the £150 with your sisters.

The exception would be if, between the four of you, you cannot cover the the £150 gap.

YORKSHIRE_GUY

If she was trying hard to find a job I'd be sympathetic.
But if I thought she was a layabout I wouldn't help her.
But it was probably naive of the working siblings to expect her to save this much.
And why did she leave it so long to tell you?

YORKSHIRE_GUY

Mark_Beech wrote: »

The elephant in the room seems to have been completely ignored here. I surely can't be the only MoneySaver who thinks that a £1000 gift for a 40th wedding anniversary is excessive. Even if this was considered a "normal" amount to spend it's clearly completely insensitive to expect a poorer sibling to cough up the same amount.
Buy them a new toaster or microwave or take them out for a nice family meal.

But they might be a family that are generous with presents.

burlington6

Mark_Beech wrote: »

The elephant in the room seems to have been completely ignored here. I surely can't be the only MoneySaver who thinks that a £1000 gift for a 40th wedding anniversary is excessive. Even if this was considered a "normal" amount to spend it's clearly completely insensitive to expect a poorer sibling to cough up the same amount.
Buy them a new toaster or microwave or take them out for a nice family meal.

Between them it's not a big deal for a 40th wedding present.

Angry_Bear

74jax wrote: »

Yes I'd pay. Even now I add my brother to cards and pants as he just forgets.

I'm trying to work out what it was you meant to write and can't. :rotfl:

Orange_wasps

At this late stage, what are you going to do? Cancel your parents' anniversary holiday? An extra £50 each isn't a lot, and you should have known that anyone justifiably on benefits could never save up £250 to give away.

74jax

Angry_Bear wrote: »

I'm trying to work out what it was you meant to write and can't. :rotfl:

presents................ I blame the mobile......

Gwenniebabes

If it was originally agreed that each would put in an equal share then I would suggest either the rest of you put in the £150 your benefit sister cannot meet and ask her to pay you back monthly, OR agree the rest of you will meet the extra cost between you. If you tell your parents or not about how the split was made up depends on you and what your view is of why your sister is on benefits ...... There is another option which is for you to suggest your sister goes her own way and the rest of you cover the cost of the holiday .........