Joined 31.05.16

Poor_Single_lady

Wrote post and post it urgh!
Spent today £3 lunch and £1.50 milk and £17 yesterday.

Got invited to vegas and gut wrenchingly declined - but it was not a quick decision. Took a while for me to realise.
Bit annoyed.

Bit worried about rest of year, dad has credit card so I have hardly any credit and not much choice but to life within means which means almost no treats.
Quite stress inducing.

reality_check

It's a good thing your dad having the credit card, you will soon adapt! I was addicted to buying clothes and make up, dinners out etc but now I don't really miss it! I haven't bought clothes in so long, but I did have quite a substantial amount from before - that was after getting rid of loads! I always got a takeaway on a Friday and Saturday if I wasn't going out as refused to cook on those days, I still try and avoid it or make a 'fakeaway'. I now find myself twisting the food budget to allow for a takeaway to be incorporated in. I think your food shops are quite high and can defintely be cut down to maybe allow for a Saturday night takeaway, which won't make you feel guilty for buying one, and may make a boring night in more exciting?! Food excits me anyway! xx

Verbatim

You're not poor PSL! You just choose to buy beauty treatments, clothes and shoes rather than "experiences". But you've said before you aren't interested in holidays. Was the trip to Vegas special in some way? I mean given your attitude that you're not interested in holidays?
Stay focused! October sees the end of the loan. Maybe see November and December as loan money towards Christmas and annual expenses then start the new year with a proper budget. That would mean no further worries about how to pay for insurances, repairs or Xmas plus some extra towards your, ahem, "essentials"!

Forgive me PSL but I'm guessing you know where I'm coming from! As ever best wishes and sharing your excitement about the countdown to the end of the loan.
Vxx

Poor_Single_lady

:hello:

Well I have a lot to be thinking about.

The holiday upset me in the moment. But unexpectedly feel better having slept on it. I'm not bothered about holidays really BUT vegas is my number 1 place that I haven't yet been to. I plan to go in the future when I am a bit more sorted. I have a plan and I made the choice to buy a flat and prioritise living on my own above everything else and I'm at peace really.

BUT I think I was taken off guard a bit. All of the above is well and good in theory but in the moment my best friend who I have confided in as much as possible- so well aware of this heartache and painful time- is inviting me to vegas. Except he isn't. What he is really saying is that he is going and I'm not. And he is expecting me to be happy for him and offering to lend me the money which would be completely self destructive and he knows is a bad idea. He is going with a big group of people do could have just got on with it and not involved me. Just very hard.

Food shops are very high recently. Will sort this out. But I do eat a lot and have expensive tastes. I probably waste money where it's needless. I know I spend double as much needed on sausages as I want to buy the outdoor ones where the pigs had a nice life. So things like this I know are unnecessary and do add up.

NSD today but before payday I have one expensive social outing.
Yesterday spent £3on lunch.
Nothing this weekend and some lunches out next week.
Tommorow should be NSD and Saturday should be low spend.

enthusiasticsaver

Does not sound like a very supportive friend if he is rubbing an expensive holiday in your face and knows you cannot afford to go. You are quite right not to borrow to go on it.

I have said a number of times on this forum to various people that we all have different priorities and most of us cannot afford to do everything we want all at the same time. Your food bills are high and yes if you are buying organic food and free range meat that is sadly more expensive than the budget range at Lidls or Aldi. Similarly you spend an inordinately high amount of money compared to some on clothes and beauty treatments so it follows there is not a lot left for holidays. That is fine, your money so your choice. You have a job and a flat of your own so a lot to be thankful for.

coastalchick

yeah I agree not a very supportive friend!!! Vegas is cool but if you're not in the right place financially you will just get stressed when there about how much you're spending (esp with dollar exchange rate!). We found US v expensive when went last year, much more than ever. And I think Vegas is a place you want to go with a healthy budget in your pocket so you can really enjoy it. Maybe aim to go there when debt paid off and if you can, do the whole, replace premium brand with essentials, see how much you save in a month and squirrel that away towards a vegas trip? Reckon that would at least keep you going. Though I am with you re food as food is v important to me (heck, can see how much Ive invested by the size of me these days!!!)

Also agree re choices. Some of my friends have porsche's, audis and even astons! We drive a 2004 RAV4 which is not at all glamorous but personally, I'd rather have money in my pocket to go on holiday or to save than spend on a wasting asset like a car. Other friends quite happy to go out and blow £100 on a friday night in expensive bars - I'd rather stay home with a nice meal/take away or go out and spend the money on a really nice dinner. Choosing flat is v sensible. You are constantly paying capital off and interest rates are low. This is a form of saving - either for you to move up the property ladder one day or sell and realise a capital gain. It is a good choice.

Poor_Single_lady

Thank you both (and all). He isn't very supportive at all. He thinks because I have a mortgage and job in London that I am super wealthy and moaning about nothing when obviously this is not the case. i am not jobless and starving so in his mind I must be wealthy.

Spent too much since payday totalled at £255 which is £101 on socialising but we had team night out and very good friend was owed to be taken out and is having tough time so I don't think I could have done much differently even though I know 100% this is a lot and far too much money. £50 a week is not sustainable or even desirable.

Need to have a quiet week but got 2 lunches out next week. But- one of the girls at work has been on holiday and we said we wanted to catch up- and lunch is better than pub so kind of lesser of 2 evils And one is pregnant and leaving soon and wants to spend time doing things like lunch before she can't leave the house without a tiny baby.

So hopefully just 2 lunches next week and nothing more.
Home tonight.
Lidl tommorow.
No big spends Sunday
Mon-fri low spend, 2 lunches out, no evening plans.

Poor_Single_lady

I do think food is very important and quite a high priority to me. I love Jamie Oliver and delia and James Martin and nigella. Cooking and eating make me very happy and if I had to scrimp on a tiny budget I would be miserable.
Also my parents are fine now but we are a large family and money was in very short supply for most of my childhood and I majorly associate eating undesirable meals with full blown poverty. I can do beans on toast for a few nights but can not scrimp on food long term. Also can't shake my love of takeaways.

I do understand that people who don't have to buy clothes for work think I spend a lot on clothes but this is 90% for work and is expensive. Even if I could wear jeans and then smart tops it would be so much easier. The salary isn't inline to cover this and it's an area I can't compromise on. So it does seem high but I would much rather buy jeans and going out clothes and things for me but I honestly don't think that's where most of the money is going.:sad:

But I do feel it is 100% the right thing to stay away from vegas for time being. When I go I am not scrimping so it is a trip for the future and I am doing everything and not sleeping or missing out on anything. I also plan to drink very little and the people who are going will be drinking every day which I would consider a waste.

reality_check

I wasn't suggesting meals of 20% meat content sausages, frozen chips and beans every night :rotfl: I actually buy free range chicken from Lidl I just meant about being a bit more smarter with what you buy, for example a £5 chicken would do a roast on Sunday, stir fry Monday and 2-3 days of chicken salads and sandwiches. Steak mince £3 for 500g 5% fat in Lidl would make you about 6 portions of spag bol/chilli and freezes great! I believe you as a single person could eat for about £100 a month - and that is a diet full of fruit and veg - just aslong as your fruit is things like apples, oranges, bananas, pineapple etc and not blueberries and blackberries :eek:

Vegas is a fantastic place, but you can't be going on a budget so 100% the best idea to say no now and go when you can truly enjoy it and do everything you want to do.

Hope you have a good weekend PSL x x

Poor_Single_lady

I know Reality. I should be able to do it easily but I am just quite rubbish!
Incidentally my brother is really into food quality and after his local butcher Lidl is his first choice for meat.
I spent £9 in m and s and £7
In Lidl.
But going out for lunch tommorow and will need midweek milk/food top up.
2 lunches out, 3 take in.
5 dinners at home.
No evening social- can not afford it especially as august will be busier than July and July so far is hard and quite boring.

Going to make food plan and overall plan for the week.