Joined 31.05.16

Poor_Single_lady

Thank you lovely ladies. most people seem to be planning to stay in for January. Aside from family and best friend I've been invited to one birthday party and one pub trip. Not complaining at all but normally a bit more going on.

I'm not going to the party. Mostly because I know it will be late and expensive. But have got guilt trip.

Dolly I'm reading Me before you. But I am a majorly slow reader. It is really good but very sad. I saw the film expecting it to be rubbish but it was amazing and so moving. Made me cry loads. The book so far ( I'm only at the beginning) is as good as the film but with much more depth and things that I'm not sure they got into the film. I would wholeheartedly recommend both.

Lots of people love girl with dragon tattoo, I am going to find in charity book shop and read. But I am very slow at reading. Will come back to you and let you know how it's gone.

I read a book recently from Tesco called kiss me first. It was quite dark but hugely enjoyable and quite thought provoking.

Today was supposed to be NSD but I bought a rail card that I needed for discounts of train journeys and small Lidl shop.

Milk
Mayo
Apples
Bananas
Cucumber

£30 rail card- will make this back
£6.11 Lidl
Hoping Friday and maybe Saturday will be NSD. But Saturday may involve small spending.
The first of 3 January weekends pre payday will need some restraint.

[Deleted User]

Oh I haven't heard of those, will need to take a look at those.

I'm out tomorrow and gonna try to keep the spending to a minimum to.

Dxxx

System

Hiya. Hope you are well.

I am a reader of mostly trash and anything I can get for free (lots of telephone boxes round here have been turned into mini free libraries!) Today I am mostly reading Mills and Boon (oh the shame!!) Love the happy endings!!

coastalchick

Hi PSL

Happy New Year!

Sorry, I've not been around - I did draft you a PM just before xmas but my computer crashed just after drafting and then never got round to it again.

I'm currently flogging 10 books for a fiver locally - we have too many in the house and people don't really pay much more than that for used books. Just sold 10 thrillers pending collection monday. Going to get together another set of chick lit to flog.

And I am going to try to read every book on my shelf before buying more (apart from the authors I love, when they have new books out I'll get those)

Hope you are doing ok. I have no weekend plans for whole of Jan, which is fab

Poor_Single_lady

NSD yesterday.
Low spend today.
Staying in but may get chips from chip shop. Have a cold so need to eat and don't feel like cooking.
Very low key weekend. 2 and half weeks to payday.

[Deleted User]

Enjoy your chips and hope you get rid of that cold soon.

Dxxx

CoffeeCakeYarn

PSL - I hope you don't mind me popping in. I've spent the last few days reading your diary, and we are in really similar situations. I just wanted to post and tell you things that helped me. I've done the debt journey once before but was married at the time, this time round my debt is higher, but luckily I have some coping mechanisms in place from first time round. I also work in London in the same industry, and know exactly how pressured it is with the drinking/clothes/eating out etc. I really do sympathise! Also, apologies in advance if this is a long post.... but I've got so much I want to say over the course of your diary and I'm late to the party. I've only braced up properly and started my second journey over the last month, and it's going to be a long slog.

Firstly, I HATE YNAB. It never worked for me no matter how much I tried so I gave up.

I know a lot of this stuff has already been mentioned but I just want to tell you what's worked for me. Ignore as appropriate.

I didn't like the diea of two current accounts, one for bills one for spends. I got talked into trying it for one month, and I've never looked back. Even getting myself into debt again, I wouldn't be without two banks now, it's just so much easier to get everything out the way 'Hidden' in the bills bank and see in black and white what I have left. I can then roughly budget around social events, food, petrol etc with what's left over. Why don't you give it a go, if you don't like it, close the second account and go back.

I always had an idea of how much I was spending, x on food too much on social etc, but it wasn't until I wrote everything down in a notebook and totalled it up at the end of the month that it hit home. The amount I spent in the pub in a month made my eyes water, I knew it was a lot along the way but seeing the total in black and white, well, goodness. It really helped me realise what was going where when I had a view for the whole month.

Pressure to drink and eat out. I decided to go on a fitness kick. It's surprising how 'Got to go for a 10k run in the morning' suddenly makes people understand why you got water instead of wine. Obviously I am still met with some resistance, but it means I can be social without needing to plough half my wages on booze. It took a few months but no one bats an eyelid if I turn down booze, or a night out, because I'm training for an event (usually fabricated). It just seems to be a very socially acceptable way of turning down invites, or expesive cocktails when out, with minimal fuss. Some people do still guilt trip, but I try and let it go over my head.

Clothes, I can not reccomend charity shops enough. Fine a nice high street where you live and look there first. I got a Jigsaw dress with the labels still in for a serious fraction of the new cost. And a ted baker suit. And I hated charity shops, now it's my first port of call when primark won't cut it, and a nice cheap way to spend a saturday to get me out of the house. If that fails, next port of call is ebay. Again, so many new clothes going for stupid cheap prices. And I haven't cut out the shopping trips, I just buy when I'm with people then take it back at a later date for a refund. Sad, I know, but sometimes you have to keep up appearances.

Ebay for toiletries that you can't get in savers. All of my high end make up and good skin care stuff now comes from ebay. It's new, it's just cheaper.

I've consolidated my debt once by adding to the mortgage. My circumstances changed and I ended up screwed. Don't do it if you can avoid it. It feels like a fresh start and is great at the time, but it can be a really bad thing. I now rent, and will probably never get on the property ladder again, in part thanks to adding the debt to a mortgage. Bad decision, and I wish I could go back and decide not to.

Ebay your clothes, even the ones you think are unwearable. I've sold some total carp, honestly, but it's amazing what people will pay for a slightly too worn dress that cost £120 new, and be happy with it. I now ebay even the cheapest stuff that is past its best and people still buy it. Oh, and empty perfume bottles go really well too.

I canned the nails and hair colour and I'm still gutted about it. These will be the first things I get back when I can. I changed my hair colour to dark brown (which looks no where near as good) but means I can box dye it myself. I hate it, but it has saved me money. I bought a gel lamp and do my nails myself. I can't give up the waxing, it's just, no.

My budgets after debt repayment are so tight, I have between £200-250 a month for food/petrol/fun/clothes and I've really had to learn how to make it streatch far enough to keep up appearances. I'm just about to possibly get hit with a huge expense and I'm gutted. I need an emergency fund and will be building this up, just £10 a month to start, because the idea of putting another unavoidable £500 on my CC is keeping me up at night. I'm mainly only meeting minimum repayments on debts at the moment, but the saving grace is they are all 0%.

You've done so much, you should be proud, and it's not a sprint. Sorry for the huge long post, but I just though I'd chip in as we are in really, very very similar circumstances, and I completely understand exactly how hard it is.

coastalchick

wow! Great tips coffee!!!! Also making me want to eBay stuff!!!

CoffeeCakeYarn

Thanks coastal. Honestly, get on it. I sold a pair of scuffed steve maddens for alomst what they cost new. And some of my empty perfume bottle went for over £15! Only problem is i've run out of stuff to sell and am just on the dregs now, but every little helps!

Poor_Single_lady

Wow. Thank you very much Coffee Cake Yarn.
We are definately quite similar. Im going to post on your diary. Have been reading today.
I'm not divorced - and I know it's very different financially but I lived with my main ex boyfriend for a long time so I had the security of a couple for a long time.
Ex was fantastic with money. I didn't have any credit cards at all and I had savings. It was a completely different time. Got used to having savings AND spending on non essentials and being quite spoilt.

Fast forward 8 years. Its a completely different story.
There is now honestly very little I can't live without.
Eyebrow wax,
highlights 4 times a year,
DVD subscription
Clinique toner- will look online

I did cancel my leg wax and I miss it every day. It's so difficult doing it myself and more painful. I can't be the only person that can only wax their legs while drinking alcohol.

Small changes I am carrying through
Staying in a lot more.
Making the changes
Declining the invites
Watching dvds
Ditching/scaling back unhelpful friendships- I think this has helped hugely
Lidl convert
Alcohol intake reduced
Clothes spending reduced- although a lot of worn out clothes have gone in the bin.

I am such a foodie fatty - nobody who has spent 2 minutes with me is going to believe I am on a fitness programme! But I can see this would work if I was slimmer. I think there is a thing I've heard of called "couch potatoes to 5k" that sounds like it's aimed at people like me so maybe I could look into that and pretend I'm on it.

The London lifestyle is just so extreme. It's like when you were a teenager and nobody ever wanted to go home but with added pressure of having a giant selection of all the "right clothes" and being at the "right places". And acting cool paying £30 for 2 tiny cocktails like it's totally worth the money!
None of it is real.
I'm just moving myself as far away from this as I can.
Declining everything as far as possible.
Actually not been out in expensive parts of London in a long long time.

At home tonight and sober but likely to have a few drinks next week. Trying very hard for the new year and being VERY antisocial.