Workplace attraction - advice needed

[Deleted User]

TeamPlum wrote: »

I wouldn't worry about it, you've not had a conversation yet.

You're imagining a relationship, before you've had a real interaction.

And please, glancing at you doesn't mean they find you attractive.

This is dream territory.


I'm sorry to be harsh, but it needs a dose of reality.

No worries! It was just a thought probably nothing in it.

Starrystarrynight1

If you don't know the lady concerned very well, OP, it might be good to get to know her a bit more before you ask her out. Other than that, I'd say go for it! I met my hubby at work.

I always thought work was a great place to meet potential partners. I felt much more 'myself' and far more comfortable at work than I ever did when out in pubs & clubs.

[Deleted User]

Starrystarrynight1 wrote: »

If you don't know the lady concerned very well, OP, it might be good to get to know her a bit more before you ask her out. Other than that, I'd say go for it! I met my hubby at work.

I always thought work was a great place to meet potential partners. I felt much more 'myself' and far more comfortable at work than I ever did when out in pubs & clubs.

I think getting to know her first would probably be the best thing to do. I could just ask her out as some of the other posters have mentioned and be done with it.



Out of interest did your husband approach and ask you out or vice versa? Or was it a case of you both got to know each other first and then started dating?


I know where you are coming from! I feel comfortable when I am at work. The bar/club scene is not my thing.

PeacefulWaters

Sometimes getting yourself friend zoned before asking for a date kills any chance.

Keep smiling. And just ask her out.

hazyjo

Go along to work drinks or a do (if you have them) and get to know her and try to see if it's mutual.


We have LOADS of couples at work (from around 50-odd people in this office). Two male Partners are married to lawyers, another female Partner is with someone who used to work here, and another Partner has just started dating a lawyer who's over 10 years younger. We also have other couples, some haven't lasted but they've managed to stay friends.


I have kissed someone from work (donkey's years ago) and he's still my best friend here. Was a bit of awkwardness after as he panicked and finished it before it started, but we got over it. We go out together sometimes for drinks and/or food, and we are at each other's side all the time at any work do, and chat a lot when we see each other at work. We have been teased countless times but it's been around 10 years now so they just accept that we're close (without benefits lol!). We probably do like each other still, but it's nice to leave it as that. (I've never known him to have a girlfriend, and I'm very happily living with someone.) Just saying it doesn't always have to be a relationship, sometimes it's just nice to enjoy someone's company at work and look forward to seeing them. Try not to lose any friendship though - definitely make sure you're both on the same page before going for it.


Jx

louby_lou

my fiancee and i met through work 7 years ago. we only started our relationship 2 years ago. there is a 20 year plus age gap. if its going to happen it will

MallyGirl

I also met my husband through work. We have been together now for nearly 22 years, married for 16. After we had been dating and living together for 2 or 3 years I moved company as it is healthy to have some time apart.

firebird082

I also met my (now husband) at work. There are quite a few couples in our company, so it's not too unusual. We started off by meeting and having a few words at the coffee shop, which progressed into emails and chats over tea, and eventually I asked him out on a date!

Take it slowly and get to know her a bit better first - any excuse for a quick chat and see how she responds.

[Deleted User]

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Sometimes getting yourself friend zoned before asking for a date kills any chance.

Keep smiling. And just ask her out.

I have no interest of being friend zoned! Just need to find the opportunity and courage to ask her now

Andrew_Ryan_89

I'm getting married to my workplace crush

My advice? Professional Stealth Stalking.

"What the hell is that?" It's where to strategically place yourself in a position where your target will bump into you or be in a position to strike up a innocent conversation.

"Is it legal?" Yes

"So, how is it done?" Well,firs of all I noticed you mentioned in your opening post that you notice when she takes a glance at you and you feel the feeling may be mutual. Get that thought out of your head. She has probably noticed you looking at her before as is checking whether you are looking. Being a male, we automatically think that she wants to take us back to her place after work, get married the week after and kids the week after that.

Back on topic, make mental notes of her movements and routine. Get an idea about when she goes for lunch, gets up for a coffee etc. For example, I would get a good idea when my girlfriend was going for a coffee. I'll either innocently go into the small canteen after she did and try to get her attention. Or, which takes real skill, get there a minute or 2 before her and let her "bump" into you.

Mutual friends is another thing, trying to get into that crowd.

So many ways and so many personal successes. Would be interesting to know a little more about the dynamics of your workplace, whether she is in the same department etc.