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Can men and women be friends?

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  • piglet74
    piglet74 Posts: 2,157 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    catmiaow wrote: »
    I would be fine about it, accept I wouldn't like daily contact and would prefer if he was honest and not lying. In fact he has done a few times.

    Your husband has met up with women who he is attracted to??
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Pollycat wrote: »
    You don't see a problem?
    Really?
    You find this bloke attractive.
    Step away now - if you value your relationship with your current partner.

    If you don't, I'm sure we can all guess the nature of your next thread.

    Yeah but you find loads of people attractive in your lifetime and nothing happens. Remember it takes two to tango and I am sure the attraction is just one sided and I know I have self control.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    piglet74 wrote: »
    Your husband has met up with women who he is attracted to??

    No someone from work.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Judi wrote: »
    The only friendship i want from any man is from the man i love and the man who loves me. There is no room in my life for any other man.

    Yes i am limiting myself as to friendships but i dont care.

    I had a male friend once. I'd known him for years but one day he came out and told me he wanted a relationship with me. I'll never put myself in that position again as i hadnt got a clue as to how he felt about me and wondered if i had been encouraging his feelings by being his friend.

    This happened to me before and it was so awkward after, that we couldn't remain friends. I didn't have a clue how he felt until he said and I certainly hadn't encouraged it. I was single, but did not fancy him at all.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • Bogof_Babe
    Bogof_Babe Posts: 10,803 Forumite
    catmiaow wrote: »
    I would be fine about it, accept I wouldn't like daily contact and would prefer if he was honest and not lying. In fact he has done a few times.


    The trick is to know whether someone is being honest or lying.

    Truth and honesty are the first things that go out the window, even before the "friendship" is properly underway. The cuckolded partner feels such a fool when they do find out, and then the questions start.

    If I had £1 for every time he answered "I don't know" or "I can't remember" I wouldn't need to be on a money saving site!
    :D I haven't bogged off yet, and I ain't no babe :D

  • piglet74
    piglet74 Posts: 2,157 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    catmiaow wrote: »
    This happened to me before and it was so awkward after, that we couldn't remain friends. I didn't have a clue how he felt until he said and I certainly hadn't encouraged it. I was single, but did not fancy him at all.

    So you have been here before, I cant figure out why your even contemplating going back again.

    Is the above post not a big enough clue that maybe you are not so good at reading the signs?
  • System
    System Posts: 178,351 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    catmiaow wrote: »
    This happened to me before and it was so awkward after, that we couldn't remain friends. I didn't have a clue how he felt until he said and I certainly hadn't encouraged it. I was single, but did not fancy him at all.


    but what would happen if the guy you are attracted to had feelings for you? What would you do? Let him down or continue with the friendship knowing that he'd still got feelings for you?
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • onomatopoeia99
    onomatopoeia99 Posts: 7,161 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 7 May 2016 at 9:00PM
    Bogof_Babe wrote: »
    Men are only flesh and blood, and if temptation is on offer with no strings attached...
    Some men may that weak, I know some women certainly are from bitter personal experience. For this man, if I were single, the person making the offer was someone I was already good friends with and also single and I wanted a romantic relationship with them, then I'd probably accept the offer, but making sure she understood what I wanted. If she just wanted a one night stand, I'd refuse. No interest in sex outside the context of a romantic relationship.


    My close female friends (I have two, the other is currently single, though the last time she came to mine and we got drunk together and shared our personal stuff, she wasn't) are the people I tell all my deeply personal stuff to and go to when I need advice. I don't see that as odd, they are the people I trust. I find people that consider it odd completely incomprehensible though.

    Now my ex it turns out was unable to have a male friend without jumping into bed with him, which ended the relationship, but just because she did it doesn't mean I wouldn't trust any other woman I might become involved with not to have male friends that are nothing to do with me.
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    piglet74 wrote: »
    So you have been here before, I cant figure out why your even contemplating going back again.

    Is the above post not a big enough clue that maybe you are not so good at reading the signs?

    Yeah but it was a really good friendship. I didn't see the feelings, but that was a long time ago.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Judi wrote: »
    but what would happen if the guy you are attracted to had feelings for you? What would you do? Let him down or continue with the friendship knowing that he'd still got feelings for you?

    He doesn't. If he did surely I would know now after my previous experience.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
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