Adult sharing inappropriate content

settlerofcatan

Guest101 wrote: »

That means nothing.


'The Police', aren't concerned, one police constable is concerned and has words of advice.


Like for example if your tyres are close to being worn out.


I too think this is perfectly normal for young teens and it seems your son is more comfortable talking to his dad than to you.


Instead of addressing the issues through conversation you decided to call in the authorities, which just seems petty to be honest.

It's normal for a father to show !!!!!! to a child?

Guest101

settlerofcatan wrote: »

It's normal for a father to show !!!!!! to a child?

Its normal for teens to be interested in !!!!!! and push the boundaries and look up things that aren't appropriate.


he's obviously confided some information with his father, who made a bad decision.


The point was you could've (and should've) spoken to your ex and explained your concerns, instead you went in with both barrels. (probably because you felt upset your child confided in him and not you)

settlerofcatan

But Sam didn't look up any !!!!!!. The !!!!!! was just randomly put in the group chat by his father. They were in the same room (along with his step-mum). Sam was saying it was disgusting and his father was laughing and adding more.

HappyMJ

settlerofcatan wrote: »

It's normal for a father to show !!!!!! to a child?

Not to a pre-teen boy but letting a 15 year old read the latest men's magazine with plenty of !!!!!! in it and talking about it in a sensible manner is not unusual.

Parents need freedom to talk to their own children about sex and relationships at any age. The wording and images used by his dad sounds inappropriate but it's not illegal and going to the police is not appropriate either.

By going to the police you will be shutting down any conversation between the boys and their dad about sex which I don't think is a good idea.

settlerofcatan

I didn't go to the police, the social services did.

glentoran99

surely its illegal to show hardcore !!!!!! to a 12 year old?

foolofbeans

I would be upset if my child's father showed them pornographic or abusive material. What prompted you to inform the police? Has there been any worrying behaviour from the father previously? Who are the older teenage boys? Does your son know them personally?
Moving forward I would suggest a conversation with your son about how !!!!!! does not reflect a loving relationship and is not the "norm". Have you spoken to the father about why he did it? It might be useful to sit down with him and your sons to discuss what is and isn't acceptable and to give the father a chance to apologise. It will also show him that you are monitoring the situation and your sons can know that they can talk to you about any concerns they may have.
As a parent of a teenage girl I would love you to speak to your son about degrading behaviour towards women as this seems to be quite prevalent in teenage boys - no reflection on your son but just seems to be a sad sign of the times.

In an ideal world no child would have access to any social media but that isn't realistic - what is realistic is to monitor your child's access and to discuss issues that may arise from the use of that social media.

elsien

I know teenagers look at !!!!!!. But.
They also need to know that " 'jokes' about p**ophilia, r*pe, racism, sexism, disabled people. There were images of hacked up bodies and people hanging" is not ok.
Accepting this by saying that it's usual for teens to look at this sort of stuff normalises it for them and this is where the complete lack of respect for women's autonomy starts to come into play. And where the !!!!!! images that kids see starts to become what they expect from their girlfriends, and where teenage girls start to think they have to do things they don't want to do because "everyone does it."
So yes I know kids search for this stuff. It is not ok for an adult, particularly a father, to encourage them to think this is the norm. The adults in their lives should be providing the " yes it's there, but real life isn't like and it will land you in trouble if you think that behaviour is ok" bit of the conversation.

jetplane

I must be growing old because I think its totally unacceptable for a father to encourage this type of behaviour in any of their children regardless of age. Jokes about p*dophilia r*cism, d*sability, r*pe :eek: Graphic images of hacked up bodies and !!!!!!??

OK so we all know that children and teenagers will look this stuff up (we could only look up dirty words in the dictionary) and it is frightening what they now have access to. This does not make it ok for their parents to introduce them to it, joke about it and normalise it.

I agree that parents have to take responsibility and not allow children access to this media, and in this case the parents had the passwords and were monitoring the account.

If this is indicative of the type of morals and influence their father has then I would be restricting his access. I would be appalled if any of my children, or husband, made jokes about these topics or shared these images.

I struggle to understand how people are ok with the father doing this. Or why they are more concerned with the boy having facebook access than the father using it this way :huh:

k3lvc

settlerofcatan wrote: »

But Sam didn't look up any !!!!!!. The !!!!!! was just randomly put in the group chat by his father. They were in the same room (along with his step-mum). Sam was saying it was disgusting and his father was laughing and adding more.

You've still not answered why as a parent you allow your pre-teen son a facebook account clearly against it's T&C's :mad: