No children at wedding

74jax

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Hey guys, thanks for all your help so far. So, my fianc! and I just sent out, via WhatsApp, Save the Dates. We are now doing up a website for people to RSVP. Assuming everyone attends, we have now pretty much reached the capacity of the venue, having about 10 places left.

I don't mind kids there but would prefer none to be honest. However, a lot of our family may not be able to find carers as most of the family will be at the wedding. So far we have just invited our nephews and nieces. My cousins have quite a few children between them and will probably assume they are invited.

I wanted advice on -

1. How do we nicely address the issue about bringing children or an unexpected +1
2. Main reason I don't want children is because they cry or frankly can't be quiet when they are supposed to be. Any advice how to tackle this for the children that will be there?

We had a website too - gettingmarried.co.uk the rsvps had how many people were attending and so we knew if they had added people on or not.


We addressed the children issue by emailing our invites linking to the website (for rsvps). We had a very informal wedding (email/invited by mouth etc) so were able to say your kids are invited too or not etc etc etc. rather than leaving it open and not saying anything.


We only had 38 to the day and about 8 at night, all people we see regularly etc so there was no mix up.

Gloomendoom

lewishardwick wrote: »

It's not a wedding unless there's child vomiting in the corner from too many profiteroles, and one wired on caffeine sprinting round the dance floor...

BOO!

I have to agree. It's all part of the fun.

euronorris

You can invite whoever you want, and specifically say that only children in the wedding party/immediate family are invited due to space constraints. But do NOT say to anyone that they have to keep the children 'under control'. It's pretty rude. Young kids are still learning. They are not perfect, and they don't understand the need to be quiet during ceremonies etc and sometimes, the more you try to get them to be quiet, the louder they become. So, if that is going to be a problem for you then you are better off not inviting those kids at all.


My sister did the 'kids from immediate family only' thing. Everyone was fine, with one exception - a friend of hers who kicked up a right fuss about it, insisted she wouldn't be coming then etc etc. My sister stood firm, and said it would be a shame, but she understood. And then that person backed down and came anyway. Bizarre.


I, personally, had lots of children at my wedding. That's because I was an aunty to 9 at the time (now 10) ranging in age from 5 months to 16, and two of my bridesmaids had children as well. So, we were quite happy for any of the other friends invited to bring young kiddies with them, and we were prepared for outbursts, or crying, during the ceremony/speeches etc from them.


As it turned out, they were all impeccably behaved! I don't know how we managed to pull that off, and I doubt we'd ever be able to replicate it again! lol

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I went to a wedding with a friend whose baby was in a pram; she sat at the back and was ready to take him out at the first sound of squawking. I've also been to one with a toddler yelling as the bride walked up the aisle, as the registrar made their introduction, and during a reading, with the mother making no effort to shush or take them outside to calm down. People do seem to have different ideas as to what's acceptable at a ceremony.

silvercar

Young kids are still learning. They are not perfect, and they don't understand the need to be quiet during ceremonies etc and sometimes, the more you try to get them to be quiet, the louder they become.

Their parents understand, they just choose to ignore.

Imp

silvercar wrote: »

What is it with wedding invites that people expect that their children be invited? Have any other sort of party and people read the invitation and see who is invited. Mention the word wedding and people either assume that their kids are included or refuse to come without them.

2 reasons I can think of:


1) A wedding joins two families as well as joining the couple. The families include children
2) Weddings and funerals are often the only times families get together on mass, and weddings tend to be more enjoyable than funerals. Aunt Mavis from Plymouth would love to meet Baby Alex from Dundee, and weddings make the ideal opportunity.


and 3: unless you are a bridezilla, weddings aren't all about the bride. Scores of people are involved and contribute to the day, and benefit from the day.

silvercar

Imp wrote: »

2 reasons I can think of:


1) A wedding joins two families as well as joining the couple. The families include children
2) Weddings and funerals are often the only times families get together on mass, and weddings tend to be more enjoyable than funerals. Aunt Mavis from Plymouth would love to meet Baby Alex from Dundee, and weddings make the ideal opportunity.


and 3: unless you are a bridezilla, weddings aren't all about the bride. Scores of people are involved and contribute to the day, and benefit from the day.

But it is the bride's day and if the happy couple are paying, surely it is up to them if baby Alex from Dundee is invited? Maybe Aunt Mavis can visit baby Alex at some point over the weekend rather than cluck when baby Alex's hands are smeared down her posh frock.

Person_one

silvercar wrote: »

But it is the bride's day

I'd include the groom, at least.

euronorris

silvercar wrote: »

Their parents understand, they just choose to ignore.

Some do. Others don't, and try to quieten the child, or pacify them, but that doesn't guarantee success. Especially not with babies and toddlers.


If anyone expects that this is possible 100% of the time, they are going to be very, very, very disappointed.


Babies cry, and toddlers are unreasonable.

Mojisola

euronorris wrote: »

Some do. Others don't, and try to quieten the child, or pacify them, but that doesn't guarantee success. Especially not with babies and toddlers.

At which point, the parent takes the noisy baby/child out of the room so that the ceremony isn't disrupted.