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No children at wedding
Comments
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Ultimately if people want to bring their children to a wedding -in my view they also have a responsibility to make sure their little cherubs remain quiet and cherub-like and if they don't be prepared to take them out straightaway. Most parents know their kids well enough to see when an outburst is coming and if they position themselves somewhere a discreet and fast exit is possible to avoid disruption or distraction from the ceremony -then fine. It's the parents who can't/won't do this or who think the world revolves around their children regardless of how that impacts on others who are the problem and makes brides and grooms want to exclude all children.
Parents (and I'm one too) should understand that it isn't a reflection on their children or them but simply a reaction to seeing how some parents are -Anyone who has sat through a wedding where no-one can hear the vows because of shouting toddler or a crying baby has probably said to themselves "Not happening at MY wedding" and who can blame them ? It's a one off never can be repeated special day .
If parents could be trusted not to allow their kids to disrupt a wedding then we wouldn't be having this ever repeating conversation =simply a wedding ceremony is one of those rare times that "Children should be seen but not heard " still applies
Agree with this.
And I have to say; I went to quite a number of weddings in the 1970s and 1980s (of cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings, friends, and family of friends etc.) I can't ever remember anyone saying 'no children.' I also can't ever remember children being naughty or horribly disruptive. Sure, one or two would start mithering, but one glare from their mother, and they would sit down. As a small child (under 10,) I went to about half a dozen weddings, and didn't misbehave at any of them, and neither did any other child. I mean, you just didn't!
Basically, it does boil down to bad parenting these days, if a child is really badly behaved at a wedding. It just shouldn't be happening.
That said, I do agree that people should be allowed to refuse to have children at their wedding if they want, but it does seem like a shame to exclude them. I have one friend who has 6 siblings, and around 15 nieces and nephews, aged between 3 and 25. She never contemplated for a second not inviting them all to her wedding. A couple of them did get whiney (the little ones,) towards the end of the service, but their dads took them out.fairy_lights wrote: »Yes absolutely, parents need to expose their children to a range of social settings so they can learn how to behave appropriately - but a wedding which has cost thousands of pounds and is for most people a once in a lifetime experience is not the time for that.
Agree. I do actually know of not a wedding, but a Christening that was ruined because of this couple's 2 year old boy SCREAMING all the way through the Vicar's words. The Vicar did stall a couple of times and look over, nodding slightly to indicate they should take the boy out, but they ignored him AND the boy.
Even 7 years on, the mother of that child said this screaming, badly behaved boy ruined her baby's Christening, and she has never forgiven them for it. (They were friends of the family at the time. I don't think they ever see them now.)Proud to have lost over 3 stone (45 pounds,) in the past year! :j Now a size 14!
You're not singing anymore........ You're not singing any-more!
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So you get your ushers to direct parents with toddlers to the aisle seats and tell them that it's perfectly fine for them to step outside for a minute if they have to.i agree that kids need to learn but again, that's not the point of someone else's wedding. It is not about someone else's children learning or otherwise. It is of no relevance to the bride and groom whether someone else's child has a learning experience that day.
As a bride I would want children to be quiet, I wouldn't think "let them be noisy so their parents can use the opportunity to show them that their behaviour in spoiling my wedding day is unacceptable".0 -
So you get your ushers to direct parents with toddlers to the aisle seats and tell them that it's perfectly fine for them to step outside for a minute if they have to.
Which is how it should be- but that doesn't mean the parent *will* take them out unfortunately.I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
Apologies for misunderstanding the flow of the thread. I had thought we had moved on from my episode.
My comments were a response to the idea that was being painted of children running up and down the isle causing havoc with a parental approval. My coments were also drawing to the suggestion that children should be seen and not heard with my view being that with the right direction children don't need this.
A wedding isn't to be spoilt, I definately agree but someone's definition of being spoilt is someone else's definition of a joyous occasion.0 -
And there are those of us who manage to teach our children to do so by exposing them to social situations at our own expense so we don't ruin an expensive wedding with their lack of social training.
(Quite how is a new born going to learn by crying or not at a wedding btw ?)
It's the attitude you are displaying that encourages people to have a no kids rule as most people who have one have it because they've experienced your style of "teaching" at previous weddings.
I haven't given you any insight into my teaching. What I did was mention those parents who use disraction technigues and those parents who rely on entertainment to pacify.
Just to come up against your argument I will say that I am rather strict parent who teaches children about respect and no tolerance. I use reward and consequence and would withdraw my child in any situation that was not acceptible, explain why it was wrong or undesirable and then re-enter giving the child the opportunity to learn and correct.
Only in MSE can a person get a bashing for being a decent person and a decent parent.
Ok, so not too great in a wedding that there is an expectation that there be silence but I would not just sit there letting my children making a fuss whether it be a wedding, cafe or kids Christmas performance.0 -
Apologies for misunderstanding the flow of the thread. I had thought we had moved on from my episode.
My comments were a response to the idea that was being painted of children running up and down the isle causing havoc with a parental approval. My coments were also drawing to the suggestion that children should be seen and not heard with my view being that with the right direction children don't need this.
A wedding isn't to be spoilt, I definately agree but someone's definition of being spoilt is someone else's definition of a joyous occasion.
I didn't think we were talking about your experience in particular but more about weddings in general and parents not seeing their child's behaviour in the same light as others attending the ceremony.I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
I didn't think we were talking about your experience in particular but more about weddings in general and parents not seeing their child's behaviour in the same light as others attending the ceremony.
You referred to my newborn at the wedding in response to my teaching children post. That's why I made the comment I did re: misunderstanding the flow of the thread 0 -
You have really been to a number of weddings where children were so disruptive that the ceremony itself was affected? In my experience the bride, groom and registrar/vicar were so absorbed that the occasional noise from a child would go unnoticed. If there really were kids running up and down the aisles with no attempts by parents to stop them then I could see that would be disruptive, but I've never heard of any such thing ever happening.Which is how it should be- but that doesn't mean the parent *will* take them out unfortunately.0 -
I wish more parents were like you, but sadly a lot of people seem to let their kids run wild these days.Just to come up against your argument I will say that I am rather strict parent who teaches children about respect and no tolerance. I use reward and consequence and would withdraw my child in any situation that was not acceptible, explain why it was wrong or undesirable and then re-enter giving the child the opportunity to learn and correct.0 -
You referred to my newborn at the wedding in response to my teaching children post. That's why I made the comment I did re: misunderstanding the flow of the thread
Ah yes the teaching a new born social skills by taking them to a wedding...how does that work again ?
I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0
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