No children at wedding

onlyroz

silvercar wrote: »

Or you have the cherubs left with a babysitter until the ceremony is over.

Unless all potential babysitters are also at the wedding.

silvercar

onlyroz wrote: »

Unless all potential babysitters are also at the wedding.

True, but finding childcare is never the responsibility of the host.

Play date for older children, close family (on the other side) or close friend for littler ones. Failing that a paid babysitter.

duchy

silvercar wrote: »

True, but finding childcare is never the responsibility of the host.

Play date for older children, close family (on the other side) or close friend for littler ones. Failing that a paid babysitter.

Most wedding invitations are not last minute so plenty of time to find a sitter if needed but that doesn't solve the problem of affronted parents who can't/won't understand why their child isn't welcome .

Of course the worst scenario is the guest who assumes and that although the invite doesn't name the child brings them anyway- That's tricky.

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

Unless all potential babysitters are also at the wedding.

Unusual but could occasionally be the case I suppise.

onlyroz

Jagraf wrote: »

Unusual but could occasionally be the case I suppise.

Unusual? If, for example, my brother had said "no children" at his wedding then there is absolutely no way that I could have gone - because all other relatives would also have been at the wedding. Not everybody has trustworthy baby-sitters on tap.


It is of course entirely up to the couple who attends their wedding but they shouldn't be surprised if restrictive rules result in people declining invites.


My sister-in-law said "no children" at her 40th birthday party, and so I declined the invite. She eventually arranged things so that my dad did the babysitting, but then it meant that he missed her party (not such a big deal in his case because parties are not his thing, but it illustrates the knock-on effects of restrictive rules).

onlyroz

silvercar wrote: »

True, but finding childcare is never the responsibility of the host.

Play date for older children, close family (on the other side) or close friend for littler ones. Failing that a paid babysitter.

Not everybody has access to such things. "Play date" for a whole day potentially up to midnight or even the next morning for two children? Not likely. Family on the "other side"? All dead or mentally incompetent in our case. Paid babysitter - I wouldn't know where to start in finding one.


As above, invite who you like to your wedding but be prepared for unintended consequences.

Spendless

Jagraf wrote: »

Unusual but could occasionally be the case I suppise.

It's not unusual. I said in an earlier post, I couldn't attend the last wedding (evening) invite and not because kids weren't invited or were too young to attend as the child that created an issue for me is 13! She was at her dancing show and had to be collected from it by an adult. The venue took place 100 miles away, so nipping out to collect and bring back wasn't an option. The wedding was on my husband's side of the family so were also attedning this invite and on mine my parents and sister were all on holiday. My 2 Grandmother's are in their 90s, either in a nursing home with dementia or with mobility issues. I have no other relatives living close by

sheramber

onlyroz wrote: »

Not everybody has access to such things. "Play date" for a whole day potentially up to midnight or even the next morning for two children? Not likely. Family on the "other side"? All dead or mentally incompetent in our case. Paid babysitter - I wouldn't know where to start in finding one.


As above, invite who you like to your wedding but be prepared for unintended consequences.

But you wouldn't be keeping children up to midnight at a wedding reception so why can't you have a babysitter and leave the reception after a reasonable time.

My nephew married recently and it was the bride's second wedding.

She said 'no babies' as at her first wedding he meal was interrupted constantly because a baby needed feeding, or changed, or wouldn't settle. These mum's then had to be get their meal when they returned to the table delaying everybody else.

One relative wouldn't come because her months old grandchild couldn't come.This also resulted in her husband, son and dil, daughter and sil not coming either.

The groom's brother had a month's old baby who was cared for by grandparents on the other side.Their toddler daughter came to the wedding but mum left at 7 pm with her and dad stayed on.

My son and dil had a month's old baby who, for legal reasons, could only be left in the care of one other specified person.. However, they managed to arranged for him to be cared for to allow them to go to the wedding.

Although put out at the beginning that the baby wasn't invited she did say, at the reception, that is was the best decision.

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

Unusual? If, for example, my brother had said "no children" at his wedding then there is absolutely no way that I could have gone - because all other relatives would also have been at the wedding. Not everybody has trustworthy baby-sitters on tap.


It is of course entirely up to the couple who attends their wedding but they shouldn't be surprised if restrictive rules result in people declining invites.


My sister-in-law said "no children" at her 40th birthday party, and so I declined the invite. She eventually arranged things so that my dad did the babysitting, but then it meant that he missed her party (not such a big deal in his case because parties are not his thing, but it illustrates the knock-on effects of restrictive rules).

All my relatives live hundreds of miles away so they were never part of my babysitting help- maybe you're right when families are the babysitters. I met people at antenatal and nursery so we helped each other out.

onlyroz

sheramber wrote: »

But you wouldn't be keeping children up to midnight at a wedding reception so why can't you have a babysitter and leave the reception after a reasonable time.

At the last wedding I went to there were 3 babies and about 8 under 10s in my immediate friendship group (the groom was an old university friend). We all stayed until about 11pm. The babies were asleep in their buggies by about 9pm, and the other children hogged the dance-floor for most of the night.

And as explained, not everybody has easy access to babysitters.

She said 'no babies' as at her first wedding he meal was interrupted constantly because a baby needed feeding, or changed, or wouldn't settle. These mum's then had to be get their meal when they returned to the table delaying everybody else.

Most parents of babies are used to eating cold food one-handed while jiggling the baby with the other hand. I certainly would never have expected the whole table to wait for me if I had to step out to settle a baby or change a nappy.