Pocket money

peachyprice

onlyroz wrote: »

No, but some people have suggested that it amounts to child abuse if you "make" your kids do chores around the house.

Really, who?

peachyprice

Person_one wrote: »

I'm not a parent, but surely its a case of 'phasing it in' as they get older? I agree that primary age kids shouldn't be expected to be doing chores as such, just basics like taking their own plates/cups to the kitchen etc, tidying up their toys etc. Older kids though, do they not gradually start to contribute more as they get older and take a bit more responsibility for the shared space?

Of course that is the case, but that is not the same as giving children specific chores that they have to do otherwise they don't get any pocket money, is it?

I don't understand the misapprehension that if you don't give your children chores to do they're not going to do anything. Why is it one or the other?

It's possible to lead by example and for children to understand that they tidy after themselves, they take things upstairs, they clean the bath after themselves, if dishwasher is full and they're the last to bed they put it on, if they're the first to take something out of a clean dishwasher they empty it (unless it's 4.30 am;), if it's animal feeding time and they're the only one in they do it. Etc, etc etc.

They don't need to be given specific chores to live in a respectful household, and not giving them chores doesn't equate to doing everything for them.

peachyprice

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Would you say the same thing if it were your husband who did nothing?

Why do you think my children do nothing? (see post above)

FBaby

From my perspective, it comes down to 'picking your battles'. My two were able to get on with their homework, never missing doing one and always getting praise from school from the time they were about 8 or 9. This is unusual. However, if I were to count the times I have asked them to clear their bedroom, or called them down to do the dishes, I probably would still be at it at the end of the day.

Unlike many kids, mine don't hate doing homework, and even enjoy it at times. They don't find it hard and they enjoy the challenge, however, they HATE chores like cleaning the floor. If I were to say to them 'would you rather do 1/2 of Maths homework, or 15mns cleaning the floor, they would go with the first without a thought.

My kids have to do the dishes in the evening, bring their dirty clothes down, bring them back up when clean and put in drawers and after I have screamed my lungs out for days, clear up their bedroom once in a while. That's very little, but I'm ok with it...most of the time! When they move out, it will be up to them if they want to live in a mess!

GwylimT

We give weekly pocket money, you get a £1 for every year of age. If behaviour at home or school is poor this is withheld for that week. If they break something (without it being a genuine accident) 50% if their pocke money is deducted for a few weeks to cover the cost.

We don't pay for the chores, if they choose not to do them thats fine, they just wont benefit from them until they get off their backsides.

David301

As a teenager, I am 31 now, I used to get £5 a week from the parents for pocket money, i used to get £5 on top of that for incidental school spends like snacks or drinks which i mostly pocketed. I then could barter for more money by doing jobs but this was from my side not theirs. I was never offered money.

I also had an afternoon paper round which netted me £7.26 a week. A free paper round that was shared with my brother on a friday which was £15 split 50/50. I also asked the neighbours if they wanted cars washing or lawns mowing so that was a bit more income, approx £10 a week variable.

so I was getting about £35 - £40 per week which was a hefty chunk of money at that age, but it did teach me the value of money and how hard it can be to get.

Counter

peachyprice wrote: »

Don't you think though that all this 'chore' business stems back to the days when girls were taught to be good little housewives? But instead of relieving girls of that burden in the name of equality we've pushed it onto boys too. I certainly remember asking why I had to do chores when my brother didn't and getting the reply 'because he's a boy'.

I had to peel the potatoes every day, I eventually developed an allergy that I still have to this day, thanks Mum, those chores really did me good!

As you found out, you soon learn when you have to. We're not living in times where looking after a house is daily hard labour, we don't use washing boards and mangles, we don't beat our carpets, hell most of us don't do our own washing up. Our children have all the necessary tech to make house keeping an aside from life, not the purpose of it, they don't need to be taught how to keep house.

All of mine know how to use the washing machine, dishwasher and hoover and they will, without being asked. They'll occasionally empty the dishwasher while they're waiting for the kettle to boil rather than just taking a clean cup out, they'll bring the washing in if it's raining, if they need clothes that weren't put into the basket they know how to use the washing machine. The only difference is they do it because they want to, not because I make them.

It's all part of the very British attitude towards controlling children.

Agree totally with this. As a child, I tidied my room because I wanted a tidy room. I washed my clothes because I wanted clean clothes. If I needed encouragement to do this I would hope that my parents had spoken to me rather than offer a bribe. I do see it as a bribe as I don't get paid anything as an adult to cook and clean!

Also agree with the fact that "chores" are incidental to life rather than the whole point. I often point this out to colleagues at work when they talk about how much time it takes to do the laundry - we now have machines that do most of the work and so a lot of the time that they are accounting for as doing the laundry is actually spent doing something else!

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Would you say the same thing if it were your husband who did nothing?

Presumably the husband works?


Surely it's up to the whole family to contribute?

MallyGirl

Having read this I think I must be a very mean parent.
DD 14 gets £15 per month - it went up from £10 on her 13th birthday.
We pay for her phone contract, lunches, clothes (unless it is something that she wants but really doesn't need then she buys it), activities and I give her a prepaid bus pass for the occasional trip to town. If she meets friends in the holidays for lunch and movie I would give her the money for lunch but she pays for the movie herself.
She does do a lot of activities which cost us lots (2 x music lessons, stagecoach, hockey club, D of E).
She buys a magazine each month, bits and bobs of makeup but what else does she need at this age?

maman

I'm in the no payment for chores camp. I believe that all members of a household should pull their weight to whatever extent they can given age, skills, time available etc

When our DDS got to secondary age we wrote down everything we previously paid for (dinner money swimming, cinema, haircuts, out of school clothes, treats etc etc) and divided it into a monthly allowance. On top of that they still had gifts for birthdays and Christmas and we paid for family outings. It meant they learned to handle money and learn its value.