Pocket money

Lioness_Twinkletoes

peachyprice wrote: »

And I consider letting my children be children good parenting.

The eldest both have a good education, good jobs, value and save money, no debts, keep themselves and their rooms clean and tidy, what else would I have achieved in the 'good parenting' stakes by making them do household chores, besides resentment and less time to study and enjoy their short childhoods?

I guess it depends on what terms you phrase it in really. My children learned how to earn pocket money, how to keep house and had plenty of time for their childhood and study.

No resentment from my kids here. Worked for me and my family.

onlyroz

I really don't see the problem with financially incentivising your kids to help around the house. They get to learn a little bit about what it takes to run a household and get to earn a bit of money as well.

I've been to uni with people who have obviously been looked after by mummy all their lives - no idea how to operate a washing machine, no concept of a cleaning rota for the communal areas of your shared house, not the faintest clue how to cook a basic meal. You're not doing your kids any favours by babying them into their late teens.

peachyprice

onlyroz wrote: »

I really don't see the problem with financially incentivising your kids to help around the house. They get to learn a little bit about what it takes to run a household and get to earn a bit of money as well.

I've been to uni with people who have obviously been looked after by mummy all their lives - no idea how to operate a washing machine, no concept of a cleaning rota for the communal areas of your shared house, not the faintest clue how to cook a basic meal. You're not doing your kids any favours by babying them into their late teens.

My children know how to do all those things without resorting to childhood chores. And they most certainly are NOT babied.

Children who have not been forced to clean house can be just as domesticated as those who have, same as children who have been forced to can grow up to be absolute slobs. It really isn't as simple as chores=good, no chores=bad.

missbiggles1

peachyprice wrote: »

Don't you think though that all this 'chore' business stems back to the days when girls were taught to be good little housewives? But instead of relieving girls of that burden in the name of equality we've pushed it onto boys too. I certainly remember asking why I had to do chores when my brother didn't and getting the reply 'because he's a boy'.

I had to peel the potatoes every day, I eventually developed an allergy that I still have to this day, thanks Mum, those chores really did me good!

As you found out, you soon learn when you have to. We're not living in times where looking after a house is daily hard labour, we don't use washing boards and mangles, we don't beat our carpets, hell most of us don't do our own washing up. Our children have all the necessary tech to make house keeping an aside from life, not the purpose of it, they don't need to be taught how to keep house.

All of mine know how to use the washing machine, dishwasher and hoover and they will, without being asked. They'll occasionally empty the dishwasher while they're waiting for the kettle to boil rather than just taking a clean cup out, they'll bring the washing in if it's raining, if they need clothes that weren't put into the basket they know how to use the washing machine. The only difference is they do it because they want to, not because I make them.

It's all part of the very British attitude towards controlling children.

But suppose they didn't actually want to - would you just do it all for them?

peachyprice

missbiggles1 wrote: »

But suppose they didn't actually want to - would you just do it all for them?

Do 'all' what for them? Put their washing in the machine with mine? Put an extra plate or 2 in the dishwasher (not that they eat here very often)? Or horror of horror hoover the door outside their bedrooms?

onlyroz

peachyprice wrote: »

It really isn't as simple as chores=good, no chores=bad.

No, but some people have suggested that it amounts to child abuse if you "make" your kids do chores around the house.

Person_one

jaydeeuk1 wrote: »

If only the rest of the feckless benefit fiddling country followed your example, the minority with genuine reasons excepted.

Well that escalated quickly!

Your ignorance is showing.

missbiggles1

peachyprice wrote: »

Do 'all' what for them? Put their washing in the machine with mine? Put an extra plate or 2 in the dishwasher (not that they eat here very often)? Or horror of horror hoover the door outside their bedrooms?

Would you say the same thing if it were your husband who did nothing?

springdreams

onlyroz wrote: »

I really don't see the problem with financially incentivising your kids to help around the house. They get to learn a little bit about what it takes to run a household and get to earn a bit of money as well.

I've been to uni with people who have obviously been looked after by mummy all their lives - no idea how to operate a washing machine, no concept of a cleaning rota for the communal areas of your shared house, not the faintest clue how to cook a basic meal. You're not doing your kids any favours by babying them into their late teens.

My DS would opt to not help out around the house and go without the money as he does not enjoy housework.

Which is why I don't tie the money I give him in with helping out with the housework and the garden. He lives here so he has to help out without benefit of payment.

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

My children know how to do all those things without resorting to childhood chores. And they most certainly are NOT babied.

Children who have not been forced to clean house can be just as domesticated as those who have, same as children who have been forced to can grow up to be absolute slobs. It really isn't as simple as chores=good, no chores=bad.

I'm not a parent, but surely its a case of 'phasing it in' as they get older? I agree that primary age kids shouldn't be expected to be doing chores as such, just basics like taking their own plates/cups to the kitchen etc, tidying up their toys etc. Older kids though, do they not gradually start to contribute more as they get older and take a bit more responsibility for the shared space?