Pocket money

missbiggles1

peachyprice wrote: »

Why do you think my children do nothing? (see post above)

Because all your earlier posts implied that this is the case.

missbiggles1

Guest101 wrote: »

Presumably the husband works?


Surely it's up to the whole family to contribute?

Why would you believe I thought anything else?

TBagpuss

peachyprice wrote: »

Of course that is the case, but that is not the same as giving children specific chores that they have to do otherwise they don't get any pocket money, is it?

I don't understand the misapprehension that if you don't give your children chores to do they're not going to do anything. Why is it one or the other?

It's possible to lead by example and for children to understand that they tidy after themselves, they take things upstairs, they clean the bath after themselves, if dishwasher is full and they're the last to bed they put it on, if they're the first to take something out of a clean dishwasher they empty it (unless it's 4.30 am;), if it's animal feeding time and they're the only one in they do it. Etc, etc etc.

They don't need to be given specific chores to live in a respectful household, and not giving them chores doesn't equate to doing everything for them.

From your previous posts it read as though you didn't expect your children to help at home at all. From this post, it sounds as though you do, but you don't label that help as 'chores'. What you describe your kids as doing sound like chores to me. How are you defining chores?

I think it is entirely reasonable to expect children to help out at home, in age appropriate ways, and that that would include learning to clean up after themselves, but also to help with general jobs . I don't think it automatically has to be the same set job every day or week (although in larger families having a rota can be practical and useful and ensure that everyone feels things are fair).

I'm not a fan of paying kids to help out. I feel that doing your bit around the house/ garden is part of being a member of the household, and so I wouldn't expect a child to be 'paid' for doing their bit any more than I would expect an adult to be.

In terms of the original question about how much pocket money is appropriate, I think the key is how much you can afford, and wht she will be expected to pay for.

When I was 11 I changed from having pocket money to having a clothing allowance: Out of that, I had to buy my own clothes (excluding school uniform), books (except school text books) and to pay for whatever I wanted in the way of entertainment.

My parents bought essentials (so stuff like soap, basic shampoo, sanitary products and deodorant) but if I wanted fancy smellies or specialise hair products then I had to buy my own.

It worked pretty well - you learn how to budget and prioritise.

When we did it, I think the amount we got was based on the child benefit, but it does depend on what you can afford, of course.

Spendless

My eldest especially would say he'd go without money rather than do chores. I did see/read a suggestion once that certain chores shouldn't be tied to pocket money just expected as a matter of course but additional jobs could be paid for.

But leaving chores aside for now, I think that what the child pays for out of pocket money needs to be discussed. I started my youngest with pocket money this week and she raised the issue of gifts for birthday presents and does she pay for them. I had a think first, before I committed myself to something I regretted and have come up with this.

If she is invited to a birthday party/event, I will fund the present. If she just wants to get her mate something to give in class she buys it herself. I will continue to add her name to presents bought for close family but immediate family; me, her Dad, her brother she has to pay for.

At Christmas I will follow the same rules of family members but will give her a small amount of extra pocket money in December to take into account additional costs. It is then up to her to budget accordingly, find cheaper options, cut down on her present list or homemake something.

restless6

I dont pay my kids to do chores- they do chores because they live in this house and will look after it, just like i have to.

The pocket money is put onto GoHenry and is linked to personal responsibility- getting up and ready for school on time. This is a problem for my son with his disability, so the money acts as his carrot.

He would not gives two hoots abut being paid to do chores- he would just go without the money.

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Why would you believe I thought anything else?

Because of what you wrote?

sulkisu

Mine are 5, 3 and 3 and they all do little bits around the house. Only things that are age/size appropriate, such as picking up their toys, DS1 can straighten his bed (pull up the quilt), he sets the table and clears his place afterwards. They will do more as they get older. I see nothing wrong in children helping out at home, I certainly don't view it as somehow robbing them of their childhood.