Change back to maiden name without consent

pigpen

jjj1980 wrote: »

No, I wouldn't have, unless I felt like telling what I was doing. I'm an adult, can make my own decisions and unless I ask for people's opinions, what I do is no-one else's business.

You wouldnt even have mentioned you were thinking of doing something? That seems strange to me.. surely that is part of a healthy relationship?.. sharing a decision making process, regardless of whether you take any notice of them or not.


I often say to OH.. 'Oh I might do this, or I could do that' ... I do as I please anyway whatever his opinion, I don't ask permission or approval. I don't think I'd want to be in a relationship where we were effectively living separate lives either and didn't discuss things that were relevant (like marriage and children and stuff like that we haven't discussed lol). I can imagine his face when post started turning up with a different name on lol.

I am actually refusing now to deed poll my surname to my partners name.. if he wants me to have it then he has to marry me.. until then I will just be nameless! I won't marry him either, but he doesn't know that yet haha!

pigpen

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I assumed she meant both of her names, not his and hers.

No I meant was it a joint account in which case I can understand why the bank wanted a letter from both of them but if a single account then it has nothing to do with anyone else surely..

goodwithsaving

Person_one wrote: »

Yet so many are so keen to give up their name in the first place.

Not me! I remember being a small child (long before I'd even heard of feminism) telling my parents that I never wanted to change my name. My view hasn't changed. Even if I did change my name, I certainly wouldn't consult anybody else about it. It isn't for a man to give me permission for what I can legally be called. For me, it isn't even up for debate before marriage.

jjj1980

pigpen wrote: »

You wouldnt even have mentioned you were thinking of doing something? That seems strange to me.. surely that is part of a healthy relationship?.. sharing a decision making process, regardless of whether you take any notice of them or not.


I often say to OH.. 'Oh I might do this, or I could do that' ... I do as I please anyway whatever his opinion, I don't ask permission or approval. I don't think I'd want to be in a relationship where we were effectively living separate lives either and didn't discuss things that were relevant (like marriage and children and stuff like that we haven't discussed lol). I can imagine his face when post started turning up with a different name on lol.

I am actually refusing now to deed poll my surname to my partners name.. if he wants me to have it then he has to marry me.. until then I will just be nameless! I won't marry him either, but he doesn't know that yet haha!

No, as it would have no effect on him so it's no-one's business but mine. It's not about living seperate lives. I'm admittedly incredibly independent and if a change etc will make no difference to anyone other than myself then I don't see any reason or need to discuss it with anyone beforehand.

rubyrose

Hi, my mum recently changed her name back to maiden after separation. She did it by writing the deed poll letter, template on .gov.uk, and getting it witnessed. All banks, dvla etc have accepted this as evidence and it didn't cost a thing. We got a couple of copies printed and signed.

GaleSF63

Person_one wrote: »

Yet so many are so keen to give up their name in the first place.

I certainly was! No more spelling it out, saying it slowly and carefully and still having to spell it out, explaining, correcting... and it wasn't anything exotic, just an English place name.

missbiggles1

rubyrose wrote: »

Hi, my mum recently changed her name back to maiden after separation. She did it by writing the deed poll letter, template on .gov.uk, and getting it witnessed. All banks, dvla etc have accepted this as evidence and it didn't cost a thing. We got a couple of copies printed and signed.

Great, but she actually didn't need to have bothered with any of that.

foolofbeans

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I can't imagine why a woman who isn't married to the father would give her children the father's name - I don't think I've come across that before.

It is very common I think.
I gave my children the fathers surname assuming that one day I would also have his surname when we married.
Marriage is now not on the cards and I wish I had given the children my surname as I am the one who deals with school and doctors and have to correct people all the time when they call me by my partners surname.

doggydogdog

Hi all.

I now have official confirmation from the Royal Court of Justice that i do not need to complete the deed poll. I only need to present a birth certificate to the company.

So thank you to those who originally mentioned this - you have saved me £36 quid and a lot of hassle!

Also, hopefully this will help other people being ripped off by deed poll sites who suggest it as a way to revert back to your maiden name.

Thanks Again!

pigpen

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I can't imagine why a woman who isn't married to the father would give her children the father's name - I don't think I've come across that before.

Because that seems to be the norm.. I only know of 2 children given the mothers name rather than the fathers when they are still on the scene at birth. (One is my cousins daughter and one my oldest child.. his was changed when cf and I married when he was nearly 3)

2 of my youngest 3 have both surnames which is utterly ridiculous and the youngest just has OHs.

All my siblings belonging to my dad have his surname but he was not married to their mum.