Daughter and housekeeping money?

forgotmyname

Thanks for all the advice guys, good and bad.

Its good to see how the other half think, we must be the odd family not charging the kids for everything.
Nameless person will buy snacks and treats on the family shop and then hides them from the "kids" school leaving age and college age. If they want biscuits she charges them. To me thats petty.

When i say full time its 3/4 days a week volunteering but full days, the job centre know because they arranged it. Although it was supposed to be a 6 or 8 week thing, the owner took a liking to her and asked her to stay, naughty bit was they paid her travel costs. That may not be allowed?
Owner was impressed that she actually turned up (early) and was enthusiastic and really got stuck in.

Whilst there she did 2 courses in retail also. All this with her part time job and job centre interviews and a job club style course also.

So she doesnt exactly sit there doing nothing, but she really needs to learn budgeting etc.

Everytime we try, something crops up. 2 Grandparents passed away, I was taken ill and spent time in hospital, now her other grandad has been diagnosed with cancer.

Fingers crossed she has an interview on Friday, (2nd stage)..

The last post above says it all really, technology.. she can talk to everyone online and prefers that to going out.

The above post is what i thought also, probably let her keep a bit more than £5 though. £10 and a cheap contract like my £6 one? If she wants a new phone then dip into those pockets.

She can cook, just lacks confidence. Managed OK whilst we were at the hospital almost 24/7.

Thanks.

TeamPlum

I havn't read the thread fully - so forgive me.

When I was in my late teens/early 20's I couldn't find employment. Rather than giving my parents money I didn't have, when they didn't need it, I made sure that I did all the household chores.

I did the cooking, the washing, the ironing and the cleaning - it was far more useful to them than giving them a token £10 a week.

Is this an option?

chocolatebum

when my eldest had to sign on we took 30% of his JSA and he was left with the rest. he knew that was his share of utilities/food etc and i did buy toiletries as everyones was bought from weekly shop. anything else he wanted he had to pay for himself, phone, going out, travel etc he helped around the house and also did his own washing. you need to teach her how to budget and give her the opportunity to do so. taking the majority of her money won't do that.

System

My mum point blank refused to let me clean (bar my bedroom) or cook. So when i got to uni i suddenly felt very very lost. She also never really told me anything about budgeting. 11 years on i've gotten better with cleaning, and can cook a few decent meals, but i still struggle with the money side of things. Thankfully my siblings seem to be much better at all 3, i think with me being the oldest they just didn;t know what to do

My parents always made it clear that if i'd stayed at home and worked, i'd have been at least paying board. Obviously thats individual to every family but i do think your daughter needs to make some kind of fincial contribution. I think if she finds she can;t afford things (in regards to the phone-put her on PAYG not contract-if she runs out of credit thats her issue-can always reverse phonecall on a payphone if she needs to contact you-contracts come with paying jobs) then that motivate her to find a better job.

Detroit

I think 20% of income is fair for an adult child to contribute to the household, be it benefits or from a good salary.
For me its about their contributing to the family according to their means.

The same with chores, each family member should take a share proportional to their available time.

In my household, you daughter would hand over about £12 per week, and do the housework and cook the evening meal on the days she was not at work and others were.
It's then up to her to get extra work if she wants more money and less chores!

I think you make a good point about her settling into a routine. Her current lifestyle is very safe and comfortable, and I can see she'd be reluctant to challenge herself, especially if she lacks confidence.

Realistically though, at her age, you can't force her to change, unless you're going to threaten to throw her out. You can only encourage, and hope the financial incentives are strong enough.

On the plus side, her volunteer work shows a very positive side to her character.

Savvy_Sue

forgotmyname wrote: »

Although it was supposed to be a 6 or 8 week thing, the owner took a liking to her and asked her to stay, naughty bit was they paid her travel costs. That may not be allowed?
Owner was impressed that she actually turned up (early) and was enthusiastic and really got stuck in.

That's definitely allowed.

forgotmyname

My parents never really mentioned bills or money, I have a fairly sensible head on my shoulder (well sometimes) Although i did get into difficulty when i was unable to work for a while. Once sorted though its nothing on credit or monthly unless it saves money. Home insurance is monthly because it costs exactly the same. Car insurance etc is one off payments.

Well crossing my fingers that her interview tomorrow goes well and they offer her enough hours not to have to sign on.

Is that 16 hours? If they offer less more more than JSA in £ will she still need to sign on for the NI side?