Daughter and housekeeping money?

forgotmyname

Daughter dropped out of college last year, decided that the courses and career choice she had made was not the right one. Fair enough I went through several jobs.

She wants to go into retail but so far has not found full time paying work, she got a couple of hours at a shop to get some experience and helps out at a charity which is unpaid.

I think she is in a routine that she is comfortable with and will be in no rush to change. Being the youngest and treated like a child for far too long i think.

Due to only working a few hours she still signs on and only gets to keep £5? on top of her JSA?

How to teach her the value of money properly and learn to pay her way?

Friends are mostly older and have suggested various amounts and different ways to make her pay her way but nothing seems to suit the way we are.

We dont really shop weekly, I hate shopping and will buy 3 months worth on one go if I can. Just bread and fresh produce we buy as required, Anything tinned or frozen is stacked up high

So getting her to pay towards the weekly shop and if you want that you pay for it wont really work unless I am missing something?

Someone suggested that she pay a percentage of the bills like the gas, eletcric, mobile and landling and the internet etc but it will have to be a very small percentage

All my fault for treating her like a baby for too long and doing everything for her. Time to toughen up?

Any advice please? Whats fair?


PS. she wants a car and thats not a problem, I have bought their first cars but they pay the insurance. Spares and servicing always done by me at no cost. I wanted them to be safe and reliable. But her savings account will only cover 1 years insurance and she doesnt currently earn enough to put that money back for next years premiums.


If you got this far Thank You

Spendless

I just paid a contribution. It wasn't a % of certain bills or £x amount towards the grocery shopping. Mobile phones weren't around much when I last lived at home, but your DD could pay her own bill. Running a car whilst on JSA is going to be an expensive business. Unless it will increase her likelihood of finding a job having her own vehicle, I might be tempted to put that on hold until she's found paid employment.

Person_one

What about just taking the £5 JSA as a token gesture that she is contributing but obviously she's got hardly anything coming in at the moment.

Main focus is getting a full time job, and while its very generous of you to get her first car, I'd suggest that you only do that once she's working at least 30 hours per week in something reasonably permanent (as much as it possibly can be these days in retail). You can't realistically run a car on a couple of hours paid work.

martinbuckley

My son is a live at home uni student who receives a grant and works part time at weekends. When the issue of "board" came up, I broke it down so that he knew exactly why we had come to our figure. I listed all the utilities and what % he increased usage by (ie - gas was zero because we'd still heat the house regardless, but water was 25% because he washed as much as us). The figure we came to (inc food) was £90 a month, which he was more than happy to pay. It leaves him £300 out of his monthly wage and his entire grant to spend on clothes, study items, trips and save for a car. We are both happy with this arrangement.

duchy

When you are working fulltime so in a position to afford the running costs of a car I'll buy you one" - sounds like a pretty big incentive to get a job to me .

forgotmyname

Its not £5 JSA, She only gets £5 more than the standard JSA. Working x amount of hours for £5. Tried explaining this the temp job was supposed to be a CV filler to help an employer choose her over someone that just sat on their bums. Tried explaining she is working for £1 an hour.

But she has got comfortable with the routine and i dont think she really puts the effort into looking for work.

Post No 4, She only gets approx £250 a month even with the extra £5. What is JSA these days? less than £60?
I can see the bit about what would we pay less if she left home and charge that. may work? But when she has phones and gadgets on charge and the TV on and the computer at the same time that maybe more than she earns also.

Getting her to pay her own phone bill could be on the cards, contract up for renewal soon. Its in my name. But i worry that she wont have credit on the phone. (treating her like a kid again)

We dont need the money input into the household so thats not an issue, we could put the money into a savings account for when she leaves home (if ever) . Or buy her some premium bonds with it?

Its just to teach her that stuff costs money and that when she wants something and we dont pay she needs to dip into her savings and then think how is she going to get the savings back up if she cannot replace it.

Yeah the cars a no go because she would lose her savings and not be able to replace it.

She doesnt need money at the moment, No really into going out and not into clubbing etc. If i said we are taking all but 50p she would just shrug knowing everything she needs is here anyway.

But she is a good girl and never caused us any issues, she doesnt argue or have strops. Just too comfortable and going to get a shock if she needs to get a place of her own or with a partner etc. Need her to take that seriously but she is too much like me.

Work offered me a promotion and more money, i just saw more hassle and stress with less time at home and turned them down.

forgotmyname

duchy wrote: »

When you are working fulltime so in a position to afford the running costs of a car I'll buy you one" - sounds like a pretty big incentive to get a job to me .

Maybe its my choice of cars?

Bright yellow FIAT, Luminous green Daewoo, Bright Orange KA LOL

Although she did take a fancy to an old 1970's Austin 1300 and the insurance
was very reasonable just from the comparison sites.
A car like that could be even cheaper with the specialists.

silvercar

We dont need the money input into the household so thats not an issue

Then don't charge her anything! She has only JSA and a fiver a week. Leave her be. When she wants a new phone/ clothes etc she will realise that she needs to earn more.

motorguy

forgotmyname wrote: »

Daughter dropped out of college last year, decided that the courses and career choice she had made was not the right one. Fair enough I went through several jobs.

She wants to go into retail but so far has not found full time paying work, she got a couple of hours at a shop to get some experience and helps out at a charity which is unpaid.

I think she is in a routine that she is comfortable with and will be in no rush to change. Being the youngest and treated like a child for far too long i think.

Due to only working a few hours she still signs on and only gets to keep £5? on top of her JSA?

How to teach her the value of money properly and learn to pay her way?

Friends are mostly older and have suggested various amounts and different ways to make her pay her way but nothing seems to suit the way we are.

We dont really shop weekly, I hate shopping and will buy 3 months worth on one go if I can. Just bread and fresh produce we buy as required, Anything tinned or frozen is stacked up high

So getting her to pay towards the weekly shop and if you want that you pay for it wont really work unless I am missing something?

Someone suggested that she pay a percentage of the bills like the gas, eletcric, mobile and landling and the internet etc but it will have to be a very small percentage

All my fault for treating her like a baby for too long and doing everything for her. Time to toughen up?

Any advice please? Whats fair?


PS. she wants a car and thats not a problem, I have bought their first cars but they pay the insurance. Spares and servicing always done by me at no cost. I wanted them to be safe and reliable. But her savings account will only cover 1 years insurance and she doesnt currently earn enough to put that money back for next years premiums.


If you got this far Thank You

She needs to get a job. Getting her to pay £1.50 towards the running costs of the house isnt going to teach her anything.

At this stage its getting a job - ANY job - that will then give her opportunities down the line. Help her to put together a one pager CV about her work to date, customer service experience, etc.

Local filling stations and shops - ask to speak to the manager, leave a CV and a phone number.

Think about call centre work - she could swing that based on her customer service / working in a shop - and the interviews are usually ok.

borkid

@ forgotmyname when you are working does she do all the housework and cooking? You could say that is the way she contributes until she gets a job and can pay her own way. If she dislikes housework that might be an incentive.

When my son was at home and at uni we said he had 2 months 'grace' when he graduated whilst he found a job, at the time he didn't seem to be making an effort, then we would charge him the going rate for his room and third of the bills plus a third of household chores. He went out the following weekend and found a job and a flat! We are still speaking, have an excellent relationship and he manages his money well and works very hard.

Hutchch0920

Maybe it's less about teaching her the value of money and more about teaching her the value of work?

You said she's interested in getting into retail, so perhaps more encouragement to apply for jobs...sit down with her, go through her CV, help her write cover letters and look for jobs. I'd assume given her age she doesn't have much experience of this and it could seem like quite a challenge to do it all herself.

My OH wants to move back into office management but didn't know where to start, he was being quite slow off the mark so together we sat and re-did his CV, wrote him a template cover letter and applied for a couple of jobs together. The day before yesterday he came home and happily reported he'd applied for 6 by himself :-)