large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

missbiggles1

onlyroz wrote: »

Well I have friends from "back home" (i.e. the city I left at age 18). I have friends from uni who have since dispersed to various corners of the country. I have extended family all around the world. I also have friends I made on the internet who live all around the world that I occasionally meet up with.


I think it is most definitely the norm, in these days of globalisation, and in an era where half the population goes off to uni, for people to have an extremely dispersed set of friends and family.


It's also not that unusual for events to occur where two different sets of people meet up - whenever I've been to visit somebody I'm often taken around all their friends and family, and whenever people come to stay with me I want them to meet my other friends and family too.


The days where people never left their home town are long gone.

I've lived all round the country as well as abroad so I'm not some elderly stay at home biddy, but I don't like crowds and big groups of people - I think it brings out the worst in them.

I also never implied that nobody had people casually dropping in from abroad on a regular basis (unlike your implication that everybody does) but if I did, I'd treat their visit as important enough to me to devote my time to them and not just drag them out with a group of my friends.

If I went half way across the world (or even across the Channel!) I'd be quite miffed if a friend or relative did this to me - my friends who live abroad certainly put their normal lives pretty much on hold when friends or family come over for a visit so they can dedicate their time and energies to them, so I'm not the only person to think this the polite way to treat visitors.

Domayne

Pollycat wrote: »

I think the only appropriate time to share food is when youve gone to a restaurant where it's usual to order a range of dishes and share e.g. Chinese or Indian.

Someone we know feels it's acceptable to reach over the table and take something from her husband's plate - quite often with her fingers.

I think it's a disgusting way to behave and we decline any invitation to eat out if they are going to be there.

Seriously? You wouldn't eat out with them just because she takes food from her husbands plate?? I mean if he had objections and an argument broke out over it i could maybe understand your disgust but because she stole a chip off his plate?? :rotfl:
You sound miserable. And you would hate me as a dinner mate (and probably in general) i eat with my hands most of the time unless it's pasta or rice because I find forks/knives uncomfortable, I will offer you food off my fork, a drink from my cup or glass and will happily eat/drink from yours.
My 3 closest friends and I don't really have boundaries. We kiss on the lips, grab body parts, stick tongues in ears and I even had to help a friend stick a tampon in recently because she couldn't hide the string, had just had a manicure and was dancing that night.
I find your attitude so baffling honestly?

As for the bill we generally just split it because we've been friends for so long that it all evens out over time, though if I'm with someone who doesn't have a lot of money and can't afford to split I'm not bothered and don't think they are miserable or putting a dampener on anything. Likewise out with work I would rather we pay for what we have...usually because I'm the one drinking £14 cocktails and do not expect anyone to subsidise me

Also order whatever you want if you intend to pay for it and don't expect someone else to sub you! If you want a 3 course meal and 2 bottles of wine followed by 10 whiskey chasers have at it! If I just want soup that day, SO WHAT? I promise your food won't taste any different just because I don't follow suit!

Georgiegirl256

Domayne wrote: »

:
You sound miserable. And you would hate me as a dinner mate (and probably in general) i eat with my hands most of the time unless it's pasta or rice because I find forks/knives uncomfortable, I will offer you food off my fork, a drink from my cup or glass and will happily eat/drink from yours.
My 3 closest friends and I don't really have boundaries. We kiss on the lips, grab body parts, stick tongues in ears and I even had to help a friend stick a tampon in recently because she couldn't hide the string, had just had a manicure and was dancing that night.
I find your attitude so baffling honestly?
!

:eek::eek::eek: It's true, some people really do have no limits! How on earth did she manage to insert them when you weren't there? So what if she'd just had a manicure, that is truely skanky!

I like to think I'm fairly laid back about most things, but that to me is above and beyond the call of duty! :rotfl:

Also, do you even eat with your hands in what would be deemed as a "posh" restuarant?

onlyroz

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I've lived all round the country as well as abroad so I'm not some elderly stay at home biddy, but I don't like crowds and big groups of people - I think it brings out the worst in them.

I also never implied that nobody had people casually dropping in from abroad on a regular basis (unlike your implication that everybody does) but if I did, I'd treat their visit as important enough to me to devote my time to them and not just drag them out with a group of my friends.

If I went half way across the world (or even across the Channel!) I'd be quite miffed if a friend or relative did this to me - my friends who live abroad certainly put their normal lives pretty much on hold when friends or family come over for a visit so they can dedicate their time and energies to them, so I'm not the only person to think this the polite way to treat visitors.

I actually think it's pretty great being introduced to the friends and family of people I visit. Or the reverse when people visit me or my family.


My parents have some friends who live in New Zealand. They come to the UK about once every decade. When they visit my parents make the effort to introduce them to all sorts of people, and often organise events around them so that this can be done.


Perhaps I should tell them that this is not the "polite way to treat them"?


I have a friend from Belgium who I see every few years. I am itching to introduce her to my parents, and I was thinking that a meal out together would be just the thing. But now I'm wondering if everybody involved would find this offensive in some way.


The mind boggles.

Domayne

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek: It's true, some people really do have no limits! How on earth did she manage to insert them when you weren't there? So what if she'd just had a manicure, that is truely skanky!

I like to think I'm fairly laid back about most things, but that to me is above and beyond the call of duty! :rotfl:

Also, do you even eat with your hands in what would be deemed as a "posh" restuarant?

No idea what she did, She asked for help, I helped her...Maybe she found someone else to help? :rotfl:

Not that I make any habit out of it, and actually haven't for a long time but we're hopefully all adults and I'm sure that at some point we've all gone out and got acquainted with some strangers genitals so why is helping my friend skanky? I was there when she gave birth 11 years ago so I've seen it all before!

I don't know what would be defined as 'posh'?
I think the poshest place I've been was the top of the world restaurant in Las Vegas and yes I ate with my hands...Didn't notice anyone looking at me like I was some disgusting pig though

TBagpuss

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek: It's true, some people really do have no limits! How on earth did she manage to insert them when you weren't there? So what if she'd just had a manicure, that is truely skanky!

I like to think I'm fairly laid back about most things, but that to me is above and beyond the call of duty! :rotfl:

Also, do you even eat with your hands in what would be deemed as a "posh" restuarant?

It's not skanky. It's something most people would not be comfortable but provided both parties are OK with it and eveyone washes their hands thoroughly afterwards it's no more 'skanky' than if you helped a friend to put a sticking plaster on an awkward-to-reach cut they had suffered, or cleaned an injury they had suffered.

I think eating with your hands - I think it mainly depends on how tidily you can do it - if you end up with food falling about the place and all over your hands, it seems to me that it is bad manners to inflict that on others - a bit like chewing with your mouth open. On the other hand, if you order something which can be eaten neatly then although I would not (say) pick up a slice of quiche or pie and take bites, rather than using cutlery, it would probably strike me as odd rather than unaceptable if someone else did so. But I can't think of a lot of foods where it would be practicalno to use any cutlery.

Georgiegirl256

Domayne wrote: »

Not that I make any habit out of it, and actually haven't for a long time but we're hopefully all adults and I'm sure that at some point we've all gone out and got acquainted with some strangers genitals so why is helping my friend skanky? I was there when she gave birth 11 years ago so I've seen it all before!

I don't know what would be defined as 'posh'?
I think the poshest place I've been was the top of the world restaurant in Las Vegas and yes I ate with my hands...Didn't notice anyone looking at me like I was some disgusting pig though

Erm....that'll be a no!

Maybe they were too busy trying not to get motion sickness! 6 times in Vegas (stayed twice at the Strat) and I've still never been to that restuarant!

Georgiegirl256

TBagpuss wrote: »

It's not skanky. It's something most people would not be comfortable but provided both parties are OK with it and eveyone washes their hands thoroughly afterwards it's no more 'skanky' than if you helped a friend to put a sticking plaster on an awkward-to-reach cut they had suffered, or cleaned an injury they had suffered.
.

I think it is. Just my opinion of course.

I'd help anyone if they injured themselves etc, but that is one gash I ain't going near!

Domayne

TBagpuss wrote: »

It's not skanky. It's something most people would not be comfortable but provided both parties are OK with it and eveyone washes their hands thoroughly afterwards it's no more 'skanky' than if you helped a friend to put a sticking plaster on an awkward-to-reach cut they had suffered, or cleaned an injury they had suffered.

I think eating with your hands - I think it mainly depends on how tidily you can do it - if you end up with food falling about the place and all over your hands, it seems to me that it is bad manners to inflict that on others - a bit like chewing with your mouth open. On the other hand, if you order something which can be eaten neatly then although I would not (say) pick up a slice of quiche or pie and take bites, rather than using cutlery, it would probably strike me as odd rather than unaceptable if someone else did so. But I can't think of a lot of foods where it would be practicalno to use any cutlery.

I think I'm a tidy eater. I don't go all cave woman and just ram it in my mouth and have food dripping everywhere :rotfl:
Like I said if it's pasta, rice or something like a pie with filling that will spill everywhere I will use the knife and fork and I wouldn't just pick up a steak eat start munching on it....but chips, burgers, things like that I just find a knife and fork unnecessary?
Eating with the mouth open and chewing like a horse does bother me though! Not so much the 'etiquette' but the sound drives me nuts. One of my best friends does it but he has a jaw problem and finds it hard to chew so I try hard to block it out and not have rage stabbing fantasies :rotfl:

Domayne

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Erm....that'll be a no!

Maybe they were too busy trying not to get motion sickness! 6 times in Vegas (stayed twice at the Strat) and I've still never been to that restuarant!

You should go next time your there! It turns so slowly that you hardly even notice it but at night, the view was spectacular
It was more daunting watching the people jump off of the building and I wasn't brave enough for that ride at the top that Jerks you over the edge :rotfl: