large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

Pollycat

onlyroz wrote: »

I think this depends on how well you know your fellow diners. I wouldn't think twice about asking for a spoonful of my husband's meal if I thought it looked tasty. And sometimes we'll split the meals so that we both get half of two dishes - or perhaps order a starter to share if we'd like to give it a try but don't want to fill up too much.

However, I wouldn't do this with a work colleague, or at a business dinner, or with a group of people I didn't know so well.

I think the only appropriate time to share food is when youve gone to a restaurant where it's usual to order a range of dishes and share e.g. Chinese or Indian.

Someone we know feels it's acceptable to reach over the table and take something from her husband's plate - quite often with her fingers.

I think it's a disgusting way to behave and we decline any invitation to eat out if they are going to be there.

SingleSue

burnoutbabe wrote: »

what do people do when they have their £10 but some bright spark pipes up "lets all pay for the hen/birthday person" etc.

Say no?

(i do think its very rude to suggest this, out loud at the meal, but then even if suggested before, its hard to say no to it anyway, so you'd just have to refuse to go)

I would have already planned to put in for the birthday/hen to have their meal and taken adaquate money with me.

I'm one of those people who tends to think of all scenarios and then plan for them, sometimes it comes over all sky is falling but on the whole, it comes in handy as then I have a solution already thought through most of the time for any problems that might occur.

Jagraf

Pollycat wrote: »

I think the only appropriate time to share food is when youve gone to a restaurant where it's usual to order a range of dishes and share e.g. Chinese or Indian.

Someone we know feels it's acceptable to reach over the table and take something from her husband's plate - quite often with her fingers.

I think it's a disgusting way to behave and we decline any invitation to eat out if they are going to be there.

But even when you do share (and of course some people order their own Indian or chinese dishes) you still have a different range of prices and palates and appetites, so to me you're in exactly the same situation.

I do agree with the taking something from someone's plate though.

burnoutbabe

Pollycat wrote: »

Someone we know feels it's acceptable to reach over the table and take something from her husband's plate - quite often with her fingers.

I think it's a disgusting way to behave and we decline any invitation to eat out if they are going to be there.

surely between husband and wife its okay?

If my other half has a starter and i don't fancy a specific one of my own I will usually try a bit of his (same with dessert) or suggest something we can share - I would not do that with friends unless its something like dim sum.

If i said in a group, I can't afford a starter, I can imagine most people would feel guilted into offering me a share of theirs, which is very awkward.

BarryBlue

PasturesNew wrote: »

I had a look.

Put me down for the Trinidad Curry Chicken at £9.70. No starter or dessert for me, nothing's that tempting. And two halves of cider. I'll bring £15.

I had my first experience of Turtle Bay recently. We were in Crawley overnight and visited the branch there. It was fun and full of atmosphere and the cocktails are 2 for 1 before 7 and after 10. We thought it an appropriate place to go the night before an early flight from Gatwick to Barbados.:)

missbiggles1 wrote: »

You know, sometimes life is really just as simple as this and yet people try to make it so complicated.:)

Fortunately my female friends aren't "calculator whippers" either and are more generous in spirit than most here seem to be - thank goodness!

Exactly the point. I just think perhaps people should be a bit more choosy about their dining companions sometimes. We wouldn't dine a second time with people who worked it all out to the penny as that isn't what friendship is about.

I sort of take Duchy's point about dining with colleagues, but I always avoided that if I could. I would expect a training course t be catered and whenever I went to conferences they were usually booze-ups for the lads.;)

springdreams

missbiggles1 wrote: »

You don't take it off someone else's plate - you offer them a taste on your fork - you must've seen people leaning forward and doing this?

Even worse! Two people sharing spit by eating off of the same fork :eek:

Georgiegirl256

burnoutbabe wrote: »

If restaurants were happy to have seperate bills for each couple/person, that would be fine. But generlaly they ate not for groups, and you either have to split it, or have everyone try and calcualte exactly what they ate (and various people under pay or over pay) and then the tip is missed and someone who left early and chucked in a £20 forgot their drink and the host often ends up having to pay more.

That's why people generally split it. As restaurants are just not designed for correctly calculating the bill per person and it never works out if one tries to do it oneself (especially if anyone shares a bottle of wine)

I think more and more restaurant are getting with the times now and I've found one of the first questions they ask you is if you are all paying together or paying seperatly. It's really not a hard thing for the restuarant to do, and it's good to see that a lot of them are doing this nowadays.

Jagraf wrote: »

I don't think its bizarre - in my experience most people agree on which courses they will have and go with the majority. I prefer a starter and a main, but if most want a main and a pudding I will go with that. If I'm full after my main I will have something less filling, or a posh coffee.

It's incredibly bizarre. Infact I'd never realised it was a "thing" until reading this thread. I'd never read too much into it, infact it never even occurred to me that people would do such a thing and I just accepted that different people like different courses and so just had what they fancied/could manage. I'm easy going like that, and don't bother myself with what others are having, it's of no concern to me, and I certainly wouldn't be embarrassed.

When we all go out (family wise) there's about 12 of us, and it's more or less a fair split as to those who like starters and those who like puddings. We'd never all agree, and more importantly, why should we?!

DH and his Mam especially have got a very sweet tooth, and god forbid anyone who comes between them and their pudding! :rotfl: And I'm sure that I'm not going to give up my starter to have a pudding I just do not want.

Even in a smaller group, I think everyone should just order what they blooming well want and not have to give up a preferred part of the menu to please the majority....truely bizarre!

lady1964

We've recently returned from visiting our DD in Sydney & on our last night, we had dinner out with her & around 10 of her friends. The restaurant we ate at was Italian but it wasn't waiter/ress served, rather if you wanted pasta you queued up at the cooking station, if you wanted pizza, you ordered at that station & got a buzzer. Drinks were ordered at the bar.

The main difference was that on arrival, each diner was given a swipe style card and you got it swiped at each order point, bar, cooking station etc. When you'd finished & were leaving, your card was handed over and you paid for what you'd eaten & drunk. If you wanted to pay for someone in the group, you took their card and handed it over. Works really well for those who eat & drink loads and also for those like me who are likely to have a starter & another starter for my main, as I don't have a big appetite.

We also noticed during our trip that many restaurants had signs in the window saying 'no seperate bills, thank you'.

moneyistooshorttomention

Pollycat wrote: »

Who decided you would split the bill as usual even with another adult in the group?

If I had been his parent I would have been pretty embarrassed as I too would have felt he'd taken advantage of my friends and I would have insisted on paying for his meal & drinks myself instead of letting him freeload on my friends.

Absolutely:T

In my more youthful days - my parents would have paid for me. They would have regarded it as part of my "training to be an adult" (ie they would have seen it as another opportunity to "train" me that I should expect to pay my way). They were rather hot on that....

Jagraf

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I think more and more restaurant are getting with the times now and I've found one of the first questions they ask you is if you are all paying together or paying seperatly. It's really not a hard thing for the restuarant to do, and it's good to see that a lot of them are doing this nowadays.



It's incredibly bizarre. Infact I'd never realised it was a "thing" until reading this thread. I'd never read too much into it, infact it never even occurred to me that people would do such a thing and I just accepted that different people like different courses and so just had what they fancied/could manage.

When we all go out (family wise) there's about 12 of us, and it's more or less a fair split as to those who like starters and those who like puddings. We'd never all agree, and more importantly, why should we?!

DH and his Mam especially have got a very sweet tooth, and god forbid anyone who comes between them and their pudding! :rotfl: And I'm sure that I'm not going to give up my starter to have a pudding I just do not want.

Even in a smaller group, I think everyone should just order what they blooming well want and not have to give up a preferred part of the menu to please the majority....truely bizarre!

As I said, to me it's not at all bizarre. To you it is. It's the same if we have dinner guests, we all eat the same courses at the same time. we also have family get togethers and we all do the same (very large extended family). Our group of girlfriends do the same. And our work colleagues. And also myself and my husband. So, to me, it's not bizarre. And to you it is.