large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

onlyroz

Jagraf wrote: »

I don't think its bizarre - in my experience most people agree on which courses they will have and go with the majority. I prefer a starter and a main, but if most want a main and a pudding I will go with that. If I'm full after my main I will have something less filling, or a posh coffee.

I've never ever experienced a situation where I was told which courses I was allowed to eat. If I fancy a starter I'll have one. If I choose to skip on pudding I'll do that. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if somebody wanted a pudding when I didn't, and I wouldn't take kindly to the suggestion that I must have a pudding because the rest of the group wanted one.

BarryBlue

lady1964 wrote: »

We've recently returned from visiting our DD in Sydney & on our last night, we had dinner out with her & around 10 of her friends. The restaurant we ate at was Italian but it wasn't waiter/ress served, rather if you wanted pasta you queued up at the cooking station, if you wanted pizza, you ordered at that station & got a buzzer. Drinks were ordered at the bar.

The main difference was that on arrival, each diner was given a swipe style card and you got it swiped at each order point, bar, cooking station etc. When you'd finished & were leaving, your card was handed over and you paid for what you'd eaten & drunk. If you wanted to pay for someone in the group, you took their card and handed it over. Works really well for those who eat & drink loads and also for those like me who are likely to have a starter & another starter for my main, as I don't have a big appetite.

We also noticed during our trip that many restaurants had signs in the window saying 'no seperate bills, thank you'.

That sounds like a chain called Vapiano which we first encountered in Tallinn. They are excellent value and it's a clever concept. I believe there are a few in the UK but nowhere near where we are, unfortunately.

As I recall, my wife and I did have separate swipe cards but they combined them when it came to paying. Seemed to cover all possibilities, especially for the penny-pinchers I suppose.

duchy

burnoutbabe wrote: »

surely between husband and wife its okay?

If my other half has a starter and i don't fancy a specific one of my own I will usually try a bit of his (same with dessert) or suggest something we can share - I would not do that with friends unless its something like dim sum.

If i said in a group, I can't afford a starter, I can imagine most people would feel guilted into offering me a share of theirs, which is very awkward.

But if you said "I'm skipping the starter so I have room for pudding" no one would bat an eyelid and may even say "good idea". There are ways of handling these situations with grace so you don't put your friends in an awkward position.

SingleSue

burnoutbabe wrote: »

If i said in a group, I can't afford a starter, I can imagine most people would feel guilted into offering me a share of theirs, which is very awkward.

I usually will not say I can't afford it, far too embarrassing. I am more likely to say I would prefer to pass on a starter because otherwise I would not manage the main meal (pretty much the truth anyway) and I am really looking forward to consuming that so don't want to ruin the anticipation.

Pollycat

Jagraf wrote: »

I don't think its bizarre - in my experience most people agree on which courses they will have and go with the majority. I prefer a starter and a main, but if most want a main and a pudding I will go with that. If I'm full after my main I will have something less filling, or a posh coffee.

Jagraf wrote: »

As I said, to me it's not at all bizarre. To you it is. It's the same if we have dinner guests, we all eat the same courses at the same time. we also have family get togethers and we all do the same (very large extended family). Our group of girlfriends do the same. And our work colleagues. And also myself and my husband. So, to me, it's not bizarre. And to you it is.

I'd decline an invitation to eat out if it meant I couldn't order what course I wanted.

burnoutbabe wrote: »

surely between husband and wife its okay?

If my other half has a starter and i don't fancy a specific one of my own I will usually try a bit of his (same with dessert) or suggest something we can share - I would not do that with friends unless its something like dim sum.

If i said in a group, I can't afford a starter, I can imagine most people would feel guilted into offering me a share of theirs, which is very awkward.

It may be OK in the privacy of your own home but in a restaurant with half a dozen other people, most definitely not - inho.

Jagraf

I'm never told what courses to eat, we just maje a quick snap decision. it's a decision everyone appears to make quite easily in my social groups and we eat at the same time. I don't feel stressed or put out by it. It makes the meal less messy to me. If I did feel uneasy about it, I would also decline an invite, as would anyone.

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

I've never ever experienced a situation where I was told which courses I was allowed to eat. If I fancy a starter I'll have one. If I choose to skip on pudding I'll do that. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if somebody wanted a pudding when I didn't, and I wouldn't take kindly to the suggestion that I must have a pudding because the rest of the group wanted one.

No one tells anyone anything. You don't stand there with a rid of iron denying someone a pudding.

I suppose there is no right or wrong - just what we all feel most at ease with.

moneyistooshorttomention

If anyone expected me to do as they do re ordering same courses that would mean two things:

- they'd be feeling downright impatient by the time I'd had a pudding too just because they had for instance (as I'm such a slow eater - they would seriously be wishing they hadn't "made" me have that unwanted pudding).:rotfl:

- I would be wondering if I wanted them as friends - as they didn't like people acting as individuals/making up their own minds for themselves about everything (which is a value that is very important to me - and I do expect other people to be "individuals" too, rather than "members of a herd").

missbiggles1

Jagraf wrote: »

If I can't go out comfortably, I don't. I would never want to work out my money so to the penny that IT makes the evening uncomfortable.

Fortunately things are positive now but I remember worrying that someone would suggest a bottle of wine etc (which is natural in a place where you go to eat and drink) and we really had very little money.

I never go out, even for coffee, where I couldn't afford to pay for two coffees at least.

Necessary as it is at times, watching the pennies can be very wearing, can't it? When I was in that situation it was always simpler to just do something else.

missbiggles1

Pollycat wrote: »

I'd decline an invitation to eat out if it meant I couldn't order what course I wanted.



It may be OK in the privacy of your own home but in a restaurant with half a dozen other people, most definitely not - inho.

I've never had any problem sharing in a variety of restaurants and in several different countries. Particularly with puddings it's quite common to ask for one portion and two spoons.