large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

Pollycat

minimacka wrote: »

So to add another branch to this wonderful thread, if you knew that someone was paying for your meal would you have a starter expensive meal and a pudding. I ask this because some certain members of my family have done this in the past when we have said we are paying. They usually "share" a starter and have a average priced main but when we are paying (in the past) they have had a starter each, expensive main and lots of wine. I couldn't do it as I usually feel awful when someone pays anyway.

I think that's incredibly rude and would feel that anyone who exhibited those traits was taking advantage of me.
And the invitations would stop.

I'd feel different if they usually chose a starter, expensive main & drank lots of wine as I wouldn't expect them to change their eating habits just because somebody else was paying.

So that goes both ways.

seven-day-weekend

duchy wrote: »

I rather like the thought that you take the traditions that make sense to you rather than follow all traditions just because the bloke in the pulpit says so. Agency was given to us for a reason after all.

As a child it wasn't unusual for us to have fish on a friday with Shabat candles lit as my Mum was Catholic and my Dad Jewish. I grew up seeing nothing odd in mixing the traditions of the faiths when it came to customs .

And there is absolutely no reason why a Christian should not celebrate the Jewish Festivals. Jesus did. Messianics ( Jews who have come to know Jesus as the Messiah and Saviour) do also.

http://www.shema.com/messianic-judaism/what-is-it/

Person_one

BarryBlue wrote: »

This reminded me that around 40 years ago I had a girlfriend who announced that she was giving up 'you-know-what' for lent. She wasn't religious but apparently giving something up was a family tradition. This was the only time I ever gave up anything for lent - I dumped her!:rotfl:

Maybe it wasn't a huge sacrifice if she with was a bloke who called sex 'you-know-what'!

Hemera

minimacka wrote: »

So to add another branch to this wonderful thread, if you knew that someone was paying for your meal would you have a starter expensive meal and a pudding.

Yes I would if I actually wanted to eat all that stuff. If I was the one offering to pay, I'd be pretty hurt if the recipient of the offer felt embarrassed to order what they wanted and purposely tried to spend as little as possible - if I couldn't have afforded to invite them to dine out, I wouldn't have.

However I'd be fuming if I suspected they were taking advantage of my offer, so I understand where you are coming from. I wouldn't invite them anymore if suspected this was the case.
I wouldn't be too quick to judge them, though: personally, I don't often eat out, so when I do I just order whatever I like the sound of, regardless of price (ok, maybe not the most expensive bottle of wine, but I don't go to a restaurant to stress over the prices). So one time I might have a cheap hamburger if that's what I fancy, and another an expensive steak, for the same reason. So in general I would give them the benefit of the doubt.

seven-day-weekend

If someone offered to pay, I would have what I wanted (within reason), but wouldn't have more than I normally do.

I have offered to pay for my own drink when everyone else was either having half a bitter or soft drinks and I was having a Baileys. The person paid for me anyway.

AubreyMac

minimacka wrote: »

So to add another branch to this wonderful thread, if you knew that someone was paying for your meal would you have a starter expensive meal and a pudding. I ask this because some certain members of my family have done this in the past when we have said we are paying. They usually "share" a starter and have a average priced main but when we are paying (in the past) they have had a starter each, expensive main and lots of wine. I couldn't do it as I usually feel awful when someone pays anyway.

One of my friends did this. A mutual friend took her out once and she wasn't very hungry. When the mutual friend said he will pay the meal (as a belated birthday gift) she went from 'not being very hungry' to ordering a full 3 courses plus a take away to bring home to her daughter.


She isn't normally like this and she is extremely hard up at the moment, but that is still no way to behave.


If someone treated me for a meal, I will order what I want to eat as though I was paying for myself. I will not order champagne and caviar just for the sake of it.

ceecee1

The worse thing I have ever come across did involve a large group of acquaintances.
We mostly added up our food and drink and then put that into the middle with around £2/£3 tip each.

One person announced that he was going to pay buy card, gathered up all our cash and was then overheard paying exactly the amount on the bill. He didn't leave our tips so must have pocketed that himself.

Lesson learnt - the next time we told the restaurant to take his bill on his card before we paid our cash.

moneyistooshorttomention

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

If someone offered to pay, I would have what I wanted (within reason), but wouldn't have more than I normally do.

I have offered to pay for my own drink when everyone else was either having half a bitter or soft drinks and I was having a Baileys. The person paid for me anyway.

I'll blame my parents for the fact that if it's been established at the outset that it's someone else's treat - then I will choose within, say, the bottom third of the menu price-wise (so as not to be "greedy" etc). Though I do think if one is in the "host" position (as I've sometimes been) that it's manners/common sense etc to expect that the "guest" might have all 3 courses and it's up to the host to budget accordingly. So personally-speaking - if someone is in "host" role at outset then I think they should be asking what starters and (all the more so) puddings the guest/s want to have. So - if it's been established at the outset that I'm "hosting" then I will offer all 3 courses and expect them to want a pudding as well. Therefore the reverse also applies - ie that I will regard a host as mean if they seem to expect to only pay for a main course for instance.

It boils down to my basic maxim is "Never send a guest away from the table still hungry".

mumps

Pollycat wrote: »

I find this an incredibly arrogant attitude (not yours mumps, but the drinks buyers).
Did they ask you what you wanted to drink (then completely ignore your preference) or did they think 'ah, there's a little lady, I'll buy her a sweet sherry?'

I was just wondering what had happened to the OP.

So - did you get the answer to your question? :rotfl:

I think it was a bit strange but they were buying me whisky, I know I don't drink so maybe I'm not a good judge but it did strike me as a strange drink to buy a non drinker. I'm not sure what would be a good drink but whisky seems a drinkers drink to me if that makes any sense

Peter333

duchy wrote: »

So who the heck were the people who in your words SPOIL your meal by not having a starter- Your imaginary friends ??????? The ones you claim sit there po faced not having a starter whilst you do. Surely you didn't invent them to further your point !

Think you just got busted :rotfl::rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl: :rotfl: Oooops... #Awkward.