large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

mumps

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I absolutely agree with you. I have friends who I can enjoy a glass of wine with and those who don't drink at all, some for medical reasons and some because they chose not to. I'll get fizzy water or schloer in for them instead (or a cup of tea if it's my husband's cousin ).

A nice cup of tea is always welcome but I also like a glass of Appletiser.

mumps

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

In the midst of her anorexia she once told me she had put some weight on and I say, 'oh, that's good isn't it?' and she was very upset and got cross with me and said it was the worst thing I could have said. I got cross back and said I wasn't a psychiatrist, I didn't always know the right thing to say, however, I was busting a gut to be a supportive friend to her and if sometimes I got it wrong, that's because I am only human. I also said that the fact that she'd put on weight WAS good, she only thought it wasn't because of her condition.

We stopped speaking to each other for about two minutes, then we hugged each other and I asked her that if there was ever anything again that might lead to misunderstanding, for her to say so and to tell me what would be an appropriate response.

So I think she said what she did because of that. I'm glad she did.

I used to work with people with mental health problems, if I wasn't sure what to reply to something like that I would usually say something like "How do you feel about that?" It would give me a clue about how to respond because it was so easy to put your foot in it.

mumps

Feral_Moon wrote: »

I've not even bothered reading the last few pages of useless comments. I'm unsubbing this thread as it has no further value.

Especially I've just noted the most recent posts are concerning EDs. I don't want to play any part of this discussion. I've experienced this from both sides and have no wish to discuss it on an open forum. I'm out!

You probably won't see this but anyway I think the etiquette of eating out with someone with an eating disorder is more relevant that some of the stuff on this thread.

I wonder who is being accused of being harpies?

Person_one

Feral_Moon wrote: »

I've not even bothered reading the last few pages of useless comments. I'm unsubbing this thread as it has no further value.

Especially I've just noted the most recent posts are concerning EDs. I don't want to play any part of this discussion. I've experienced this from both sides and have no wish to discuss it on an open forum. I'm out!

Feral_Moon wrote: »

Sorry to say this, but I don't actually believe half of your anecdotal evidence of wrong doing by all these people. I maybe wrong, but I'm beginning to think you trawl the Internet for bad experience episodes (trip advisor is a great tool) and then make them your own as part your hidden agenda.

I'm not criticising you or saying it's a bad thing, maybe that's how you can get by in life. It's just my observation from posts. I just think you need to stop being so defensive

I don't think I've ever seen an "I'm out!" flounce on here that actually turned out to be true. :rotfl:

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think I've ever seen an "I'm out!" flounce on here that actually turned out to be true. :rotfl:

Whenever I read those words, I just hear them in a Scottish accent Duncan Bannatine style!

mumps

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Whenever I read those words, I just hear them in a Scottish accent Duncan Bannatine style!

Me too :rotfl:

NewShadow

Feral_Moon wrote: »

Oh come on now, eating out with a person with EDs (and I speak from great experience in this regard) should never be an issue amongst his/her friends. They will know and accommodate.

Think of this as an example - Just because someone 'used' to have an eating or drinking disorder, they may be ashamed of it, they may still be struggling with it, or it may be in their past (before they made these friends).

Either way, they may not want to tell their friends or work colleagues about it.

An excellent reason (of many) not to judge what someone may or may not choose/want/be eating and just enjoy their company.

Plus, personally, I'm not liking the fact that people (inc PN) are feeling that they have to explain/justify their dietary choices, and once explained are having them criticised.

mumps

Feral_Moon wrote: »

Oh come on now, eating out with a person with EDs (and I speak from great experience in this regard) should never be an issue amongst his/her friends. They will know and accommodate.

No, lots of people don't know. Hopefully friends will learn but it isn't automatic. I can't imagine people being rude to overweight people in the way SDW describes but it obviously happens.

mumps

Feral_Moon wrote: »

Sorry PN, I have no wish to become part of your circus. When EDs come to the fore I take an extremely serious view on the matter and one I won't discuss with the Harpies on this board. A laugh and a debate is what it is but when you start dragging people's mental health then enough is enough.

Calling people harpies, ie female monsters, isn't very nice and I don't think anyone was forcing you to discuss anything.

I thought you were out of here?

NewShadow

Feral_Moon wrote: »

Sorry PN, I have no wish to become part of your circus. When EDs come to the fore I take an extremely serious view on the matter and one I won't discuss with the Harpies on this board. A laugh and a debate is what it is but when you start dragging people's mental health then enough is enough.

The comment about wastage at the all you can eat buffets was before/aside from EDs. I'm quickly scanning, but I don't think PN has commented about EDs (other than her own ASD related sensitivities) at all.

It was mumps and 7dw I think?